toronto

12 things you'll probably never hear someone from Toronto say

The most populous city in the country, Toronto (a.k.a. "downtown Canada") may be internationally recognized for being the home of a certain superstar rapper, for one particularly embarrassing video of one late mayor, or perhaps just for being a good knockoff of New York City.

But there are certain things that arguably make a Torontonian a true Torontonian, beyond our viral slang and how we prononuce the name of our own city, including some things we would likely never be caught saying, such as the following:

"Wow, there's a lineup? I'm not going there"

It's common knowledge that Toronto loves lines. For exclusive merch, for pop-ups, for baked goods, for ice cream, for fried chicken, for warehouse sales (or just El Furniture Warehouse), for goddamn Brandy Melville, in the dead of winter, in a heat wave, in a shopping mall, we will wait.

"I'm so happy with the TTC"

Even though the TTC was named the best transit system in North America a few years ago and Toronto, the best city in Canada for getting around on public transportation, people are still forever grumbling about it, whether it's because of delaysair conditioning, random acts of violence, or whatever else.

On any given day you can find Twitter full of people bemoaning something or other about the city's transit — bless the hearts of those who have to field their complaints.

"I get a really good deal on rent"

With rent prices hitting more exorbitant highs each month, this comment is just impossible.

"No, I have no idea where Drake lives"

We all knew it before Kanye shared it, and we just know what his house looks like and his latest hairstyle the day he gets it too, whether we want to or not.

"I am so excited to eventually buy a house here"

Most people in Toronto know they can never dream of being able to afford a house here, or even anywhere in the GTA at large — and those who are confident they can are already feeling physically ill about how hard it will be, and how long it will take, to pay it all off.

"It's too cold to patio"

If you failed to see how many people were crowding the city's patios during our last lockdown mid-winter, or how many rush to get out to them as soon as they're open in early spring (wearing shorts the second it hits double digit temps, no less), then you may be in the dark about how much we love to eat and drink outside whenever we can.

"Let's get a picture with the Toronto sign"/"Let's do a photoshoot in Graffiti Alley"

The only time a local ends up in Graffiti Alley is when they're trying to cut around a Queen Street packed with people on the weekends, or are wandering home drunk after too many pitchers of sangria at Java House. And as for the Toronto sign? Never ever! Unless you've got some loved ones visiting from abroad.

"Be right there, I'm just parking"

Driving to wherever you're headed in the city on a day or night out is a sure sign that you're coming in from out of town, with the exception of something like an IKEA run, after which a Torontonian would probably just ram an unwilling Uber full of bulky home goods anyways.

We all know city streets are just a mess of construction at least half the year, anyways.

"Let's go to *insert chain restaurant name here*"

Though the city definitely has its share of Jack Astor's, Milestones, and all of the other restaurant and coffee chains that people from the 'burbs are familiar with from their Smart Centre plazas, people in the city largely prefer to support independent places that actually have palatable dishes and good vibes on offer.

"I'm not a huge Raptors/Maple Leafs/Blue Jays fan"

Whatever your sport of choice, most Torontonians are loyal to their home team, whether they're legendary champions or perpetual losers.

"To-ron-toe"

As asserted in the beginning, the second "t" just doesn't exist to locals, and if you prononuce it — along with other common T.O. mispronuciations — it's a dead giveaway you don't live here.

"You're not a real Torontonian"

As much as we want to joke, one of the things that makes Toronto so great is that it's pretty darn welcoming of everyone and appreciative of their unique background and their experience, which can always enrich our great city — whether they're here to sight-see for a day or moving in for the rest of their lives.

Lead photo by

Sandro Schuh


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