We tried Pizza Pizza's weird dip roller so you don't have to
When Pizza Pizza dropped advertisements for miniature paint rollers and trays designed for applying dipping sauce to their (in)famous za in late March, one could have been forgiven for thinking it was all just an early April Fools' prank.
But the Pizza Pizza Dip Roller is a totally real thing, and the ubiquitous chain is giving away a limited number of them in an online contest.
blogTO was provided with samples of the bizarre new product along with some (too many) pizzas and dipping sauces to test the curious device firsthand.
I will preface this by saying that, while Pizza Pizza was a glowing orange beacon of light on inebriated Saturday nights in my 20s, it's not exactly a top choice for my cheat days at this stage of adulthood.
But while my current loyalties may lie with other pizza joints, I am pretty much always won over by gimmicky nonsense and was probably one of the more enthusiastic voices clamouring to try out the Dip Roller for myself.
After getting my hands on one, let's just say, I have some thoughts.
Unboxing the Dip Rollers was probably the highlight of the experience; immediately greeted by bright orange plastic paint trays and white rollers of surprising build quality and detail, at least at first glance.
After washing them gently just to be safe, people began to notice that the paint rollers were trailing thin plastic fibres that I would have to guess aren't food-grade. The roller mechanism itself is a bit on the janky side, and even rinsing it with water caused the roller to fly off the handle, clanging around the sink but luckily avoiding the drain.
But the food was getting cold, and there was much dipping sauce to be sampled, so the team got to work chipping away at the overwhelming quantity of food provided by the kind folks at Pizza Pizza.
The actual effectiveness of the product seems to vary depending on factors including the viscosity of the sauce and the topping profile of the slice.
If you're trying to apply a thinner dipping sauce like honey garlic onto a cheese slice devoid of toppings, the thing actually works fairly well.
But if you prefer creamy garlic on a deluxe or even pepperoni slice, expect varying degrees of catastrophe.
It makes for fun photo ops and would probably be a hit with the younger crowd, but, for me, the novelty wears off almost as immediately as the heartburn sets in.
The lingering question here is, "Why?"
Does the Dip Roller improve one's ability to apply sauce to a pizza? I am going to have to say quite the opposite seems true. From what I saw, the roller method limits one's ability to sauce up a slice and offers less per-bite sauce control than dipping.
Also, can we talk about the name, please? If it is called a "Dip Roller" and you are expected to apply the sauce with a mini paint tray and roller, then can you still logically call the sauce "dip?"
Would rolling on your dip not fundamentally undo the meaning of the word, and with it, the very fabric of pizza condiment terminology?
In its noble attempt to change the dip game, my verdict is that Pizza Pizza has fallen short, but may have unintentionally created a pizza paradox in the process.
I'm keeping the Dip Roller, though. Thanks, Pizza Pizza.
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