khan.jpg

The Wrath of X-mas


We’re a week into November, and I don’t know about you, but I’m
already getting sick of Christmas. Or should I say X-mas, the two-
month sales pitch preceding December 25th.

It used to be all the stores at least waited until after Halloween before
hauling out all the Christmas merchandise, but no longer. I saw a
report on CTV local news a few days back about how retailers want
to get at your money sooner, before all the Christmas hype “stresses
out consumers.” Why do they think people get stressed over it in the
first place?

I might add that the guys reporting this crass trend didn’t seem to
mind, which only confirms my low estimation of CTV local news.

What we need is another holiday at the end of November, to act as a
buffer. The Americans have Thanksgiving, so the malls can be full of
Puritans and turkeys long after Santa’s village gets put up in
Sherway Gardens.

So let’s make up a totally commercial holiday. Let’s make every
November 30 Star Trek Day. A regular Trek bacchanalia.

Why the hell not? William Shatner’s from Montreal, graduated from
McGill, and got his start at the Stratford Festival. Nathan Phillips
Square
made a brief appearance on a Star Trek: The Next Generation
episode. It’s more Canadian than Thanksgiving, anyway.

Everybody can put on Spock ears, make pilgrimages to Vulcan,
Alberta
, and then Do. Their. Worst. Shatner. Impression! The only
fat guy in a red suit will be Scotty. And all the Star Wars, Lord of the
Rings
, Harry Potter, etc., etc., fans can put on their silly costumes,
too.

Hey, maybe it’ll even keep them from doing that the rest of the year.
But I still think it should be called Trek-analia.

Make it so.

Image: William Shatner emotes Kirk’s displeasure at the title villain
in a scene from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.


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