The Blogerati Files: Kill the Goat

This week in the Blogerati Files, Kill the Goat

Describe your blog in 10 words or less.
No goats were harmed during the making of this blog.

Why did you start your blog? Blogiversary?
I started Kill the Goat October 16, 2004. I started a blog because my husband Jason had one, and despite the fact that I constantly berated him for this "ultra nerdy" occupation, I couldn't resist my urge to always be one-upping him.

How long have you lived in Toronto?
I have lived in Toronto for 254 more-or-less consecutive days.

What's the funniest/strangest thing that has happened to you in Toronto?
I was sitting on a patio on Queen St not even a month ago when a somewhat inebriated woman stopped to compliment me on my very new, very expensive shoes. A somewhat inebriated me thanked her for paying me, a complete stranger, such a lovely and unexpected compliment. Then she fell forward, knocking my salad plate, a handful of cutlery, and half a glass of wine to the ground while spewing a technicolour stream of vomit onto the very shoes that had been so remarkably pretty only moments ago. She cried as compulsively as I laughed, and a crowd of curious Torontonians quickly joined in, generously offering napkins, mints, and other such items from purses and pockets.

What are some of the changes in Toronto that you have seen in your lifetime?
I probably can't comment on the city's evolution since I haven't been a steady observer. I did visit on all my school breaks as a child, and my diary ( a diary is ancient technology consisting of pen and paper used for recording thoughts and feelings in the dark ages before blogs) has such Toronto-inspired comments as "Went to the Old Spaghetti Factory...did not eat spaghetti"; "Saw Donnie Osmond in some Bible musical at the Elgin Theatre. He has gross chest hair."; "Scarborough smells weird."

What era, day or event in Toronto's history would you like to re-live and why?
May 16, 1996: I pose for a picture with my future husband and George Jetson at Canada's Wonderland, with more love in my heart for George than for Jason. I would love to go back and whisper into my 14-year old ears the things that would one day come to pass, and note whether there was more disgust or disbelief that flooded my face.

Who's your favourite Torontonian?
Stuart McLean. He's almost as funny as I am, and that's the highest compliment I've ever paid anyone.

Can we believe everything you post on your blog?
Believe it? You bet. But my blog should read Based On a True Story because the truth can always be improved upon. Personally, I prefer to call it "glamourized non-fiction." If only James Frey had had such foresight.

Has blogging changed you or enhanced a personality trait?
Nah. My ego was already super-inflated.

Do you have a favourite post from your blog?
My posts are my babies; I say I love them all equally, but they know it's not true.

Have you had your 15 minutes yet?
Not hardly. But I'm holding out: 15 minutes just ain't gonna cut it for this girl.

Lose any friends or muck something up because of a post?
Most people who know me in real life think my blog is tame compared to the damage I tend to do in person. Of course, I do tend to talk with my fists.

Ever met a stranger who already knew you through your blog? How was that?
Once I was sitting beside a stranger at the library, and he was reading my blog online. He asked if I had read it before, and when I said that I had, he said "That shit's insane." He's more right than wrong.

Fav bloggers?
My favourite bloggers are the ones who leave comments when they drop by. Without them, I'd just be arguing with myself. I'd probably go back to wearing too much eye liner and writing emo lyrics in the dark.

What's happening in Toronto right now that the rest of us should be watching?
What's not happening in Toronto right now? This city is so alive it would be a shame to sit back and watch - get out and join in.

You have the opportunity to gather with 5 of your regular readers - who are they, where do you meet and what do you talk about?
At this point, I have promised cheesecake and cocktails to more people than I can count. If I could only extend 5 invitations, I would have the incomparable Becky Bumblefuck, the wildly entertaining mother of 10, Kim, the indefatigable Lorna, the King of Touch You Last, Dave, and the biggest-hearted woman I have ever known, 3T. We would sit on the too-white furniture in my red, red room, and talk about the one thing we all love - me.

If your blog were a food, what food would it be?
Vodka martini, shaken, 2 olives.

Have you ever had a question you wanted to ask random people throughout the world?
Who wants to buy me a drink?

If you could gather all of the bloggers of the world together into one room and tell them one thing, what would it be?
Punctuation is your friend.

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