The top 20 Halloween costume ideas for 2014
Halloween costume ideas are ample in Toronto this year, and I can't wait to see what your dogs dress up as. There will be plenty of places for you to strut with and without pup: Church Street Halloween Block Party, Sorauren Pumpkin Parade, Night of Dread, Zombie Walk, and Death to TO are sure-things - then look out for our upcoming guide of parties, parties, parties.
Unacceptable costumes for 2014: Rob Ford, Rob Ford's [anything], Rob Ford as [anything], [anything] as Rob Ford. Doug Ford saying "folks?" Sure. John Tory with his mouth taped shut? Yep. Don't forget to vote in the chaos surrounding your final decision(s).
Here are the top 20 Halloween costume ideas for you and your pet in Toronto this year.
Queen Street West
The Vogue listicle placing this Toronto street #2 on the world map of cool was a game-changer. People stopped making fun of West Queen West after the era of Stillepost, Wolf Parade, and flip phones, but the strip is a relevant costume again this year. Get inspo from this scene-peeking Weeknd video, but remember what we learned in jr high: snorting flour = nosebleed.
Couples option: Caught drinking in Trinity Bellwoods
Your partner dresses for the park. Rosy their cheeks, cover their body with bright yellow tickets, affix a giant tennis ball and chain to their ankle, and stick a $9 wine bottle in a brown LCBO bag under their arm. This also makes a great doggie costume.
Spooky version: Vampire caught drinking in Trinity Bellwoods.
Zombie Grilled Cheese Festival
You're a grilled cheese sandwich, and you're a zombie, and you're sick of waiting in line.
Couple: NXNE VS CMW
Everything you're wearing was given to you by an influencer courting beer company. You hype every band you've ever heard of while your grey haired date, who's dressed like they're going to alternative prom in the early 00's, shadows you in their Chucks & tie combo as you trash talk them and anyone who questions you from within earshot.
Olivia Chow artist
There are a few spins you could give to Toronto's most famous napkin artist/mayoral candidate. You can do the traditional cliche beret / palette, customized with a black bob wig, napkin-on-mini-easel, and Chow for Mayor pin, but why not go full Marina AbramoviÄ? Stare into their eyes until they vote for you.
No one will let you sit down anywhere.
You're covered in barnacles and you can't move.
Jog shirtless through the streets on Halloween dishing real talk at the top of your voice. Burn calories, make friends.
You're wearing a blackboard and you keep changing the menu from tacos to donuts to Turkish pizza.
Couples option: A bar that looks like a cabin
You're a bar that looks like a cabin -- it's fool proof.
Family option: sealfie kids
The alcohol monopolies
LCBO: Collect everyone's liquor at the party. Sell it back to them at an inflated price before 10pm.
Beer Store: If it's craft beer, they get a Molson instead.
Kensington Market gutter goth
Subculture of the year. It's been Halloween 24/7 since you were born and everyone can tell you're Tumblr, but no one can find it because you change the URL all the time. You got a DETH Records tattoo the day DETH Records joined Facebook and you shatter bongos just by side-eyeing them.
Couples option: SINS
Your date has to figure out where to buy a gimp mask.
Group option: SARIN
You're also out with that other mask guy
You're the unofficial dog of Toronto. You'll need a costume, though. Pugoween is November 3rd.
Gluten free baked good
How do you know it's gluten free? You don't.
The PanAm Games
Where are you, again? Ask people if they want to watch you flex while worrying about how you're going manage taking TTC home.
You're the girl from Frozen but you keep falling on people.
Couples costume: Chunk of the Gardiner
You both fell and now no one can get around you to get to the bar.
Jets at Porter
You yell all night that you're not loud at all. People can ride you.
You're so creamy.
The White Squirrel
The only question is this: Sexy White Squirrel, or Fried White Squirrel? The answer of course is a group costume: Posse of White Squirrels in Marching Funeral Procession. Bonus if you link arms with Queen Street West and Drinking in Trinity.
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