People in Toronto are obsessed with Mayor John Tory's hair right now
Toronto Mayor John Tory's sick flow is once again stealing the show from other matters of municipal government, only this time it isn't his wife's new blow-dryer we have to thank, but the sustained closure of barber shops amid the COVID-19 pandemic.
Looking like a cross Beethoven and an NHL player, Tory's current hairdo hits the sweet spot between funny and cute... if I may call the hair of a politician cute. Think fluffy ducky meets old timey guy on the back of a Canadian banknote.
The best part? It's completely unintentional — the result of nearly five months of complete prohibition on hair salons, barber shops and all personal care services in Toronto by order of the provincial government.
He looks like he’s trying to sell me a wand... https://t.co/FPJZvxwvBy
— A (@allennn___) May 18, 2021
People on Twitter are taking great delight this week in Tory's hairstyle, as displayed at the city's regular COVID-19 update press conference Monday afternoon.
John tory's pandemic haircut makes him look like the portrait of one of Toronto's mayors circa 1821 https://t.co/30GpI8oPO8
— Xiaoli Li / 李肖黎 (@Xiaoli_3000) May 18, 2021
Many have taken to analyzing and comparing the 66-year-old former lawyer to other famous shaggy-haired folk.
Dear @JohnTory - pay no attention to the critics. Your hair is a regal triumph. #topoli pic.twitter.com/vgW5W6MuuO
— Scott Reid (@_scottreid) May 18, 2021
Queen Elizabeth, Eddie Munster, Granny from the Beverly Hillbillies, various members of The Beatles at different points in their careers, Moe from The Three Stooges, Doc from Back to the Future, a wizard and "an old lesbian" are among the people and characters Tory has been compared to over the past 24 hours.
I think it's time for Toronto to urge Mayor Tory to get a haircut.
— 𝘽𝙧𝙮𝙖𝙣 𝙋𝙖𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙛𝙞𝙪𝙢𝙚 (@BryanPassifiume) May 17, 2021
I was inspired to create this photochop in honour of my second-favourite German composer #topoli pic.twitter.com/0W8l2XOfVW
A ridiculous amount of people continue to comment on the mayor's hair as the week goes on, mostly to make jokes...
Or makes him the Minister for Magic? pic.twitter.com/simugPhVfV
— Daniel Evans (@danevansfc) May 18, 2021
Or to ask questions...
Can he get that into a bun? https://t.co/7AwfNMmNcn
— Jesse Rodgers (@jrodgers) May 18, 2021
But sometimes also with suggestions for Tory's locks and what should happen to them.
John Tory should only be allowed to cut his hair when the Scarborough subway extension opens. pic.twitter.com/zCdwBRrbnF
— Mike Beauvais (@MikeBeauvais) May 18, 2021
Some people are feigning concern for the mayor's well-being and/or reputation...
Do I speak for everyone when I say it's cool if John Tory gets a haircut? Cuz whatever this is, is not working. pic.twitter.com/DK6Zq2KBuQ
— Josh Tizel (@JoshTizel) May 17, 2021
While others are flat out admitting that they're jealous.
Do u think John Tory needs a haircut? I think it’s about time...can someone offer him some help? I’m a little jealous though 🥴@JohnTory pic.twitter.com/KKpgJgJ0XB
— Carlo (@carloTravelLvr) May 17, 2021
Some are even identifying with Tory during these difficult times.
John Tory and I have the same pandemic hobby: growing our hair out to meet the fine line between comical and concerning.
— Stephen Taylor (@stephen_taylor) May 17, 2021
"I may complain about John Tory but at least he's not getting a haircut illegally and just not giving f*ck while imposing restrictions on haircuts," wrote one local, taking an obvious shot at Ontario Premier Doug Ford who recently got his ears lowered (allegedly by his own wife and daughter.)
"As much as I can criticize John Tory on different issues, he is showing determination by delaying getting a haircut until the barbers/hairstylists are able to open," tweeted another.
Heck, Tory may have even inspired a hot new summer lewk.
When hairdressers finally reopen I'm going to get a John Tory pandemic haircut.
— Mike The Canstralian (@aussieinTO) May 17, 2021
While some people may find it frivilous to discuss a municipal leader's hair during a global pandemic (and rightly so), Tory's coif does seem to be bringing people together.
And there's no doubt that if he had recently got a chop, people would notice and be furious, just like they had been with Ford.
You really are damned if you do, damned if you don't in the high-stakes world of politicians getting haircuts during COVID.
