ttc subway crabs

Someone put live crabs on the seats of a TTC subway

Toronto can now add "crab assault" to its ever-growing list of weird stuff that happens on the TTC.

Four lives crabs were spotted riding the Red Rocket earlier this week, each with a seat of its own, on an otherwise rammed Line 1 subway train.

A woman who happened to be heading home at the time, Kristine Hughes, snapped a photo of the scene to share on Facebook because.... well, there were freaking crabs on the subway — and as it turns out, they weren't there by chance.

Hughes wrote in the caption of her post that a man had seemingly barricaded himself into a quiet spot by placing crabs on the seats surrounding him.

Normally, horrible people do this with shopping bags, purses or feet. Got to give the guy props for creativity, I guess, if this was indeed his play. But the story doesn't end there.

"A girl walked by, thinking there was a free seat, saw the crabs, let out a small shocked scream, and kept walking," wrote Hughes. "About 30 seconds later she comes storming back and became a real effing hero."

The girl is said to have berated the man for taking up so many seats with his crabs.

"What is this?!? Crabs on the seats? So no one can sit down?" she said, according to Hughes. 

"All these people standing here tired after working all day? What's that? Oh you paid for their seats? You paid 2 dollars extra so they can have seats?"

The woman then "smacked" each crab off of its seat, according to Hughes, sending one into another woman's lap and one onto someone's feet, before storming off.

The man promptly accused the woman of both "crab assault" and human assault (given that a crab had landed on a human).

Hughes says that he then picked up his crabs, put them back in their individual seats and that the drama ended there.

And yet, so many questions remain.

Where did the man get his crabs? Is k-os reshooting the music video for his 2004 hit song Crabbuckit? Does this have anything to do with the live eels found on a bathroom floor at a mall in Scarborough?

TTC spokesperson Brad Ross says that transit officials are aware of the incident based on social media reports.

"Crabs are not permitted on seats, even if they're accompanied by hot drawn butter and a bib," he said. 

"And unless a crab is a service crab or emotional support crab, and we're doubtful that is the case here, they must be contained in a sealed carrier at all times."

On a serious note, Ross says that customers who have a concern with the behaviour of others are encouraged to use the SafeTTC app or speak directly with a uniformed TTC employee.

"If safety and security is a risk," he says, "Please use the emergency alarm."

Lead photo by

Kristine Hughes

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