Ontario city's pigeon poop problem is getting out of control

An Ontario city is fighting back against the scourge of pigeon poop.

Wherever you may live in Ontario, chances are you've had at least one crappy experience with pigeon poop at some point or another. And while they might look harmless, some residents are starting to wonder if they're secretly plotting against our clean balconies and freshly washed cars.

Numerous complaints about mysterious backyard drop-in droppings have sparked concern in Brantford, Ont., although officials argue that pigeons are just getting the villain edit.

It may be hard to imagine a bunch of adults in suits sitting around a table talking about bird doo-doo, but that's basically what happened last week. During a March 10 committee meeting, city staff discussed whether anything could be done to reduce or eliminate the pervasive pigeon poop problem (say that ten times fast!).

The short answer: not really. 

According to city officials, pigeons are protected under provincial wildlife and agricultural regulations, which means municipalities can't just swoop in and ban them altogether.

Dave Wiedrick, the City's director of bylaw compliance and security, said pigeons are not the source of the problem, although he fails to state what the source of all the defecation could be instead. 

"Scientifically, naturally, it's not possible," he told councillors. "Pigeons defecate before they fly, not during flight, to make themselves lighter."

Local media reports that council members also reviewed proposed changes to the local pigeon-keeping bylaw after residents complained about these literal party poopers, "flying over backyards and wrecking family barbecues."

Staff recommended that the city introduce a permit system for all pigeon keepers, as well as allow a six-month grace period for all current members to register with the city at no cost.

Council voted 9-1 in favour of the recommendations, in a bid to keep future cloacal contributions off patios this summer.

With Toronto's pigeon population still on the rise and many residents complaining about their balconies decorated in bird dung, here's hoping our councillors flock together to clean things up here, too.