Two people banging in the snow might be the wildest video out of Toronto all year
The Don Valley can be a beautiful place to relax at times, especially on warm evenings when the traffic is quiet, the paths are clear, and various chattering forest critters provide a soundtrack for serene summer strolls.
And then there are times when the tree-lined banks of the Don Valley River are just as utterly bonkers as anywhere else in Toronto.
One local managed to catch such a moment on camera a few weeks back — three of them simultaneously, in fact — and the resulting clip is nothing short of "lolwtf?"
It was shot from high above by someone standing on the Prince Edward Viaduct, the heavily-fenced concrete bridge that turns Bloor Street East into Danforth Avenue.
At first glance, we see what appears to be a Toronto firetruck struggling in the snow.
"Ok, we got a lot going on in the Don Valley today, boys," says the narrator in an accent reminiscent of the fictional Letterkenny, Ontario (as well as most small Ontario towns where boys play hockey and ride snowmobiles.)
"Apparently the boys tried to go off road in the firetruck and got a little stuck there, so that's going on," he continues. "You've got traffic as usual, but then uh, way, way, down there um… looks like two people f*ckin'."
The camera pans over to a couple of people dressed in full head-to-toe winter gear lying in the snow, one apparently on top of the other. Slight movement can be detected, but it's hard to see exactly what the people are doing based on how far away they are from the camera.
Our narrator, who did not wish to be named publicly, confirmed the act with his own eyes: "Yeah, yeah, that's definitely two people f*uckin in the snow," he says in the clip.
Finally, he pans out to show another person on their own simply kicking snow while walking along the river. The person is not far from the amorous couple, but cannot see them behind the treeline and some bushes.
"And then this guy's just having a nice walk, nice little hike," laughs the narrator. "Oh my god I f*cking love this city."
Commenters on the 6ixdripTV post seem to agree.
"This the best thing out of Toronto since Drake," joked one. "Bruuuuuh this video is perfect," wrote another.
"What if the two people f*cking, are actually one person doing CPR on someone else, and that's who the FD are trying to get to?" wrote another still in a comment that makes you think.
The anonymous camera person didn't seem to get that vibe, closing out his mini nature doc by saying: "I think they just climaxed because they stopped moving."
Join the conversation Load comments