I went to Emo Night at Sneaky Dee's in Toronto and fell into a high school time warp

If you're a millennial feeling nostalgic and want to relive all your best — and worst — moments from high school, may I suggest Toronto's Sneaky Dees? I was recently at their weekly Emo Night and hoo boy, not a single eye was safe from black eyeliner.

It's been ages since I've stepped foot inside one of Toronto's most iconic dive bars, but the second I walked in, the graffiti-covered walls and sticky floors transported me back to when I was a melodramatic 16-year-old girl deeply committed to side bangs.

I wouldn't say I was in a high school clique. I floated around and got along with everyone: jocks, nerds, theatre kids, stoners. But, if we're being honest, I was a bit of an emo kid since I spent much of my time in my parents' basement downloading the latest Taking Back Sunday and Brand New tracks off Limewire. 

Cut to the present day. I was having a lousy week, the kind where every minor inconvenience feels like a personal attack. And what better place to exorcise the rageful devil in me than a grimy, beloved institution like Dee's?

After paying the $15 cover, I headed upstairs and handed $4 to some dude in a booth to guard my coat (Not to sound like Old Man Who Yells at Clouds, but back in my day, coat check was just a loonie!).

Arriving around 10:30 p.m., after doors open, is ideal for Emo Night. You get enough breathing room to grab a drink, scope out the scene, and mentally prepare before the place gets packed like sardines. 

While waiting for the night to pop off, I played a little game called: How Many My Chemical Romance Shirts Can You Spot? I lost count after nine. 

It felt damn good to be in a room with a bunch of sweaty strangers collectively shouting "If I’m f***ed up you're to blame!" and "I'm not okaaaaay." It's a cheaper, albeit much louder, form of therapy for me. 

@blogto Vibe Check - Emo Night North 😎 🎙️🎥 @antonwongvideo ♬ original sound - blogTO

Around the DJ, dozens of people were dancing on stage, including what I can only describe as an Emo Conductor. Imagine Leonard Bernstein only sadder, badder, cooler and decked out in Hot Topic's latest threads. Ah, you just had to have been there.

By 11:30 p.m., I could feel the languor creeping in. My old body was reminding me that I am no longer a teenager fueled entirely by angst and energy drinks. But I refused to leave. I was determined to stay until every last ounce of pent-up frustration had been expelled, no matter how much my feet (decorated in Vans, of course) disagreed.

Then, like a gift from the pop-punk gods, Paramore's "Ain't It Fun" came on and gave me a second wind.

When I younger, I practically worshipped Hayley Williams. She was one of the few female voices in the very male-dominated pop-punk and emo scene of the mid-2000s. Looking back, I'm kind of grateful that before my frontal lobe fully developed, I had her as a "big sister" (though we're the same age), showing me that girls can contain multitudes. That girls can be angry, messy, vulnerable, and strong, all in the same breath.

It's funny, looking back at high school. I was so angry. So emotional. So convinced the world was ending every time some boy in skinny jeans and jet black hair didn't reply to me on MSN Messenger. And for what? I wasn't paying rent, I had amazing grades, and my biggest responsibility was walking the dog after school. 

But then I remember the heartbreak, isolation and yearning. The holy trinity of emo music. The songs blasting through the speakers at Emo Night tapped into all three, whether it was from Blink-182, All Time Low, Jimmy Eat World (my personal faves) or Panic! At The Disco. 

There was no shortage of modern reinterpretations either. The DJ threw in a few pop songs reimagined through a scene-kid lens, including Chappell Roan's "Good Luck, Babe" and Avril Lavigne's "Skater Boi." 

No matter the song, dozens of people in black attire and heavy makeup stomped, jumped, and mosh-pitted around the long, narrow venue. At one point, I could feel the floor physically shaking, and I thought, " Is this how I go out? At Sneaky Dee's mosh pit to emo throwbacks?" Ah well, if I'm leaving this world, I can think of worse soundtracks than this…

But, just like in 2006 when my biggest crush in school didn't want to go to the prom with me, I survived!

Emo Night at Sneaky Dee's is basically an affordable time machine. You just show up, and suddenly you're back in your most unhinged and cringe version of your younger self.

Life now still sucks sometimes, sure. There are bad days, burnouts, bills to pay — but there are also nights like this, where you get to scream-sing it all out and revel in the fact that you didn't, in fact, peak in high school.

Emo Night takes place most Friday nights at Sneaky Dee's, located at 431 College St.