It is forbidden to urinate here

Friday Afternoon Stories: The Proud, The Perturbed, The Pissant

It's Friday, and Fridays are always awesome for short stories. These stories often don't have all the "blanks" filled in and this is what makes them worth reading. Too often do we get caught up in the latest reality TV show or whatever the hell's happening in Jack Bauer's life (seriously, did anyone care that Morris had a drinking problem) to remember that the written word is often the most entertaining, umm, word.

Sometimes the best literature is also written anonymously. In these cases, the author might feel they aren't worthy of attaching their name to so awesome a tale.

The following short tale is one of love, heart ache, and vengeance. And it happened in our fair city. Be warned; the writer could be a friend, a relative, or worse yet, your blind date tonight.

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This tale is called, "Nice Pee Shirt"

It was a long time ago, but I have to come clean with it. We dated. You were an insecure jerk and I was a crazy bitch, so we broke up. A couple of weeks later, it happened. I saw you. With her. You asshole. As a result of having had too much to drink, being young and impulsive, immature and angry, I went home that night and did it. Shameful that you left your favourite tshirts at my place. Even more so that you figured you would get it back, which you did. However, it was not the same shirt as of that fateful night. Because, my friend, I peed on it. I peed on your shirt. I peed on your shirt, and then, and only then, did I return it to you. And you wore it. With pride. The pee shirt. If you think that my friends were snickering at you because I said you were bad in bed, you were wrong. In fact, you were just the opposite. Yet. Please. No matter your looks, your charm, your cockiness and skill, you are still THE GUY with the urine stained tshirt.

This story was originally published on Toronto's Cragislist in the Rants & Raves section. If you are or you know the person whose shirts were tor-pee-doed, you can contact the scribe by email. She reportedly lives near College St. Thanks go to Jenny for finding this, no doubt on company hours.


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