When you play with fire, you're liable to get burned. Play with fire drunk, surrounded by kindling, while holding a cannister of gasoline? You'd better be wearing a rubber suit.

A Guelph man was reminded of this (in a metaphorical sense) on Monday after defiantly choosing to eat a donut inside a Tim Hortons store.

Yes, it's illegal under current provincial lockdown rules to eat indoors at restaurants or cafes, as well as to remove one's mask within a public indoor venue, but that's not why he ended up leaving with an ironic one dozen charges.

Police in Guelph say they were called to a business on Woodlawn Road East near Victoria Road North around 4:45 p.m. on February 1 to deal with a male who "had taken off his mask and was eating a donut inside despite staff asking him to leave the premises."

Once they arrived, officers found the man inside. They arrested him under the Trespass to Property Act, and could probably have fined him under the Reopening Ontario Act as well, if they didn't have bigger fish to fry.

Media Release – February 2, 2021
-Alert bank staff saves female from fraud
-Donut dispute leads to a dozen criminal charges
-Package thieves scared off by neighbours
Calls for service in the last 24 hours - 167 https://t.co/EoCn1PZr5F

— Guelph Police Service (@gpsmedia) February 2, 2021

"During a search subsequent to arrest, police discovered stolen property including clothing and grocery items. He was also in possession of unopened mail, and several identity documents and credit cards in various names," reports the Guelph Police Service.

"A 33-year-old Guelph male is charged with five counts of possessing identity documents, three counts of possessing a stolen credit card, three counts of possessing stolen property and breach of probation."

The man is scheduled to appear in a Guelph courtroom on May 14 to face these criminal charges.

One can't help but wonder if eating a donut inside, against the law and against the wishes of Tim Hortons staff, was worth getting caught while carrying oodles of stolen property.

It better not have been an old-fashioned plain.