The top 10 restaurants in Toronto to eat at when you're drunk
You're drunk in Toronto and you need food. Where to go? While the bars, pubs and late night eats app will help, I've rounded-up ten of my favourite places when nothing but a cheap, alcohol busting late night meal will do. Will you even remember eating there? Doesn't matter. By the next morning, with last night's greasy snack creating a little buffer from the crazy hangover you're about to get, you'll be thankful for the extended hours and sustenance at these joints.
Here's my list of the top restaurants in Toronto to eat at when you're drunk
There are plenty of places to grab poutine these days but this popular spot near Queen and Dovercourt is arguably the best. The classic fries with cheese curds and gravy is available here but this joint also has tons of other toppings too to take it to the next level and they're also open until 3am. Poutini's is a play on Houdini's, because this stuff is magic for a hangover.
I have one word for you- 24-hour diner. You say that's three words? Well, you might have had a little less to drink than me. After the show, it's the after party and after the party, it's the hotel lobby and round about four you got to the Lakeview, and eat eggs or a grilled cheese or something weird like chili in a bread bowl, and there's your night.
Why you'd be at St. Clair and Caledonia, who knows, but then you often end up in unlikely places when you've imbibed too much. But when that golden Dairy Freeze sign crosses your hazy view, and you tilt your head to read "Beef Burgers" and "We Only Serve the Best. Try Our Steak on A Bun. Homemade Fish & Chips. Souvlaki" you'll be so psyched, shouting OMG and running like a manic through the parking lot like it's the second coming.
Greasy Chinese is my go-to hangover food, and it's seems I'm not alone. Whenever I show up at Hong Shing I'm like, "What are you guys doing here?" No worries though, as there is plenty of General Tao and snow peas to go around, as food is fast, plentiful and cheap, and it's open late.
El Furniture Warehouse
It hasn't been opened long in Toronto, taking over from the Pump, though as a hangover restaurant it might have impressed itself in the minds of the college kids on their snowboard vacays in Whistler (that's where the chain started). Dive bar aesthetic helps transition from party to post party eats, and with everything at $4.95 on the menu, you won't walk up and wonder where those last two twenties went.
Dim Sum in the middle of the night is a revelation. Small, fried things with dipping sauce? Yes please. Head to the very back room of Rol San and grab a table and order item after item until you are stuffed. There are no windows so you have no idea how late (or early) it is getting so you just finally emerge, slightly less drunk and ready to greet the day (or your bed).
Downtowners and Ryerson students know where to go to quell the booze blues - it's Kabul Express. The bright lights and cafeteria trays do nothing to deter the throngs of drunkards from getting their kabob on. Staff is friendly and prices are cheap, which makes the whole experience that much more palatable, and the rice sides provide a good base for soaking up all that alcohol.
Big Slice on Yonge
The grease wheel is a time honoured dish for salty dogs, and where else would you get it but the Big Slice? Their pizza is thin and cheesy and the slices extra 'monster' big, plus they have Italian sandwiches and lasagna. They are also open between 9 am and 5 am seven days a week, which by my calculations means there is only a total of 28 hours you cannot get your 'za fix.
Sometimes it's best if the food you are about to eat is as sauced and sloppy as you are. That's why Lou Dawg's is such a winner - with menu items like BBQ chicken wings and pulled pork and brisket and the Mighty Loutine - a twist on poutine topped with pulled pork- that if it gets all over your face you can just wake up the next day, lick your lips and find yourself enjoying a second helping.
Many places in Chinatown keep late hours but few can claim to be open 24 hours like Pho Pasteur can. You don't come for the decor or the service, you come because you've had a few too many and need a liquid elixir of a different sort to get yourself righted and on your way. If you can't remember anything else, remember this - Pho Pasteur is your answer.
What did I miss? Add your picks to the comments.