A TTC Protest Song

With the fare hike, sleeping employees, mid-route coffee breaks, idling buses, and a sex scandal, 2010 hasn't exactly been a banner year for the TTC. While there's still time for things to get better, rider morale is so down in the dumps that it's hard for many to see a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. And because not all of us can take comfort in the arms (and beds) of multiple partners to vent our frustrations, it may be time to turn to song.

Here to help us out is Jordan Mandel, who recently uploaded the catchy tune, "TTC -- Toronto's Travel Curse," onto YouTube.

Mandel isn't the first to rail against the TTC, and he won't be the last. But, as far as complaints go, this is certainly one of the most creative. And, more than anything it's lighthearted. Even if the underlying message has roots in serious customer service failings, the song itself uses humour to drive catharsis.

And, hey, a pirate version of public transit would be pretty cool, now wouldn't it?

Here's my transcription of his lyrics:

I reach down into my pocket
I got to find change to ride the rocket
A toonie's all I have in there
It's not enough to pay the fare
I drop it in
The driver screams
You ripped me off I'll call the police

It's not like this guy owns the bus
So why does he have to make such a fuss

TTC can't possibly
Take me where I need to be
Oh, service runs infrequently
Don't depend on the TTC

I make my way to the subway station
They're raising fares and blaming inflation
With gas so high, driving ain't nice
So shouldn't this be the time to lower the price?
But no, no, no they raise the bar
And give another reason to take the car

Traffic's bad and it's getting worse
TTC -- Toronto's travel curse

Chorus

Maybe I'll run them out of town
I'll buy my own bus and I'll drive it around
I'll pick up folks waiting at their stops
I'll drive real fast and avoid the cops
I'll undercut them -- expand my fleet
The TTC will have to compete
I'll put an end to their monopoly
With my public transit piracy

It's 2 a.m. the Subway's closed
I'm leaving the bar and hitting the road
I wait til three, the bus finally comes
It's filled right up to its maximum
Some guy gets sick, the driver shouts
This bus is out of service, you got to get out

Riding the rocket, getting home at five
Will make a monk want to drink and drive

Chorus