A fake Galen Weston Jr. is responding to all the 'peasants' who hate him on Twitter
Canada's dorky answer to Mr. Burns (Galen Weston Jr.) is trending on Twitter again today as news spreads that grocery prices are expected to rise even higher across the nation in 2023 following a record-setting year of inflation that saw food prices spike by more than 10 per cent on average.
If the newly-released Canada Food Price report is correct, a typical Canadian family of four will spend around $1,065.60 more on groceries next year than they did in 2022, representing roughly a 7 per cent increase in spending at the supermarket.
Millions of people who are already struggling to put dinner on the table are distressed by this prediction. Distressed, incensed and looking for someone to blame.
A guy who is known for refusing to pay his workers a living wage, profiteering during a global pandemic, and conspiring with other grocery barons to intentionally fix the price of bread for 15 f*cking years is a pretty good candidate.
Oh Galen Weston, it's never a good thing to be trending on social media when you're the owner of one of Canada's biggest grocery chains and your company is making record profits while Food Bank user numbers grow. https://t.co/YqaqNkyeYD— Penny Thompson (@postition) December 5, 2022
The Food Price report, released on Monday, pegs the expected hit to our wallets on climate change, higher transportation and energy costs, the rising cost of commodities and global supply chain issues — at least in part.
The bespectacled CEO and President of Loblaw Companies Ltd. has emerged in recent months as the very face of grocery store gouging, and his company's attempts to "help" (or pretend to help) the beleagured people of Canada have gone seriously awry.
From the famously a tone-deaf No Name price freeze email to that recent campaign in which the country's largest retail chain literally asked customers to donate their PC Optimum points to people in need, Weston's camp just keeps on cranking out garbage that acts like a magnet for negative attention.
Unbelievable— Bipolar Witch (@BiPolar_Witch) December 5, 2022
It’s like the bully making the victim pay him to bully his victims https://t.co/BAk8263KNR
That said, some positive things have been borne from everyone's mass hatred for that rich d*ck in the No Frills commercials; Digital cameraderie, participation in public discourse, hilarious jokes, silly memes, and the @GalenWestonJR Twitter account.
"Irish-Canadian businessman a.k.a. BABY G MONEY WESTON Chairman and CEO of George Weston Limited & Loblaws & more," reads the bio of that account, which is clearly labelled as parody.
Whoever runs the account is prolific, tweeting regularly from the viewpoint of a fake Weston who is more than happy to share his evil plots and thoughts with the "peasants" who frequent his stores.
Fake Galen is a huge fan of his self-declared "buddy," Ontario Premier Doug Ford.
He often tweets about taking over Ontario's healthcare system with help from his friends in politics.
He makes frequent spelling and grammatical errors, in the vein of so many Doug Ford parody accounts.
Time for all you peasants to come get the flue shot at any of my Shoppers Drug Mart locations. Make sure you bring lots of money, we are having tons of great deals!— Galen Weston Jr Parody (@GalenWestonJR) November 20, 2022
At times, he responds and gives advice to people who complain about the Weston family's exorbitant wealth (they're the third richest in Canada) and the fact that many people can't afford meat or vegetables.
Never mind skipping meals. I heard fasting was good for you. https://t.co/awui3dGbLW— Galen Weston Jr Parody (@GalenWestonJR) December 5, 2022
His tone remains largely positive, though Fake Galen's perspective on life is definitely skewed.
Charlie I'm not attacking anyone it's called saving money.. I need workers who can do the work of 2 or 3 people. That's what I call being a dedicated worker. I have people who sleep in their cars in the parking lot to be here on time. Now that's what I call being dedicated to me. https://t.co/BZvxlK146y— Galen Weston Jr Parody (@GalenWestonJR) November 25, 2022
Where the account really shines is in its collection and curation of Loblaws hate content from other social media users, be they on TikTok, Twitter, Instagram or elsewhere.
Just recently was out visiting the peasants in downtown Toronto they all love me. pic.twitter.com/5qg6bYvFUm— Galen Weston Jr Parody (@GalenWestonJR) November 16, 2022
Fake Galen often highlights "happy customers" who post rants about Loblaws, Shoppers Drug Mart, No Frills, Zehrs, T&T, President's Choice and everything else he owns.
Yet another happy Customer pic.twitter.com/Zmuz2Ox5GM— Galen Weston Jr Parody (@GalenWestonJR) November 16, 2022
The sheer volume of videos this Twitter account has been sharing speaks volumes about how much Canada truly hates Galen Weston Jr. right now.
I'm a white guy from 1985 my favorite song. pic.twitter.com/z8xDQKEgQP— Galen Weston Jr Parody (@GalenWestonJR) November 16, 2022
"I am spoken of in most conversations in every Canadian household, especially in my peasants' households in Ontario," reads one of the parody account's recent tweets.
"From land deals, my take over of healthcare, unfortunate food increases due to inflation & invasion of Russia by Ukraine, people can't stop talking about me."
The peasants have spoken pic.twitter.com/243btipTXR— Galen Weston Jr Parody (@GalenWestonJR) November 16, 2022
"My companies have an accessibility policy! But who really cares about disabled people unless they have a ton of money? My buddy Doug Ford thought me that," reads another tweet.
"For several weeks if not 2-3 months the women's handicapped washroom stalls have NOT been available in one of my Ottawa stores."
I'm the reason you are able to get food. Without me, the farmer, the trucker, the energy worker, the warehouse worker would be nowhere. https://t.co/WmavPNtyoR— Galen Weston Jr Parody (@GalenWestonJR) December 4, 2022
You can see more of these hilarious and sometimes legitimately heartbreaking tweets here, or simply search the term "Galen Weston" on any social platform. You're guaranteed to see something that makes you laugh.
For where there is collective rage and pain, there can also be great humour.
We may have to take out second mortgages to buy margarine one day, but at least we peasants have each other... and the ability to publicly make fun of smarmy billionaires who look exactly like the people our parents told us never to get into vans with as kids.
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