Thieves penetrate gated Ontario property to steal $90K worth of condoms
Ontario Provincial Police are looking for at least two suspects who, early this morning, busted into a rural property roughly two hours west of Toronto and stole a truck containing some $90,000 worth of "condoms and accessories."
Investigators from the Oxford detachment of the OPP say they first received a theft report from an unspecified address on Road 68 in Zorra Township around 5:30 a.m. on Friday morning.
The property was accessed by breaking through a fence, according to police. Once they had entered, investigators say that a number of "unknowns" proceeded to damage several vehicles that were parked at the site.
"A 2018 white Freight CAS truck, with Nova Scotia licence plate PR45449 and a white 2019 VANR VXP trailer, with Ontario licence plate R4621L, loaded with over $90,000 worth of Skyn brand condoms and accessories were stolen," said police.
Skyn condoms, blogTO has learned via Google and The New York Times (seriously), are specialized, non-latex prophylactics that are more expensive than regular condoms. They fall under the LifeStyle brand umbrella, which means they were born in Australia but sold to a Chinese conglomerate in 2017.
An Amazon description for the product claims that they "easily stretch and conform to your shape so that they are comfortable to use," but it couldn't have been too comfortable obtaining the truck, by the sounds of it.
No suspects have been apprehended yet, and crooks are likely hoping to get lucky by evading police altogether.
Not so fast, bad boys (or girls): Surveillance footage is currently being reviewed, and police are appealing to members of the public for help in identifying suspects.
Anyone with information is asked to contact CrimeStoppers or the Oxford OPP at 1-888-310-1122.
Conversely, anyone getting busy in the city this weekend should keep an eye out for people with unusual amounts of Skyn brand condoms on their person... unless that person is Pete Davidson, which makes sense even though some people think it doesn't make sense.
It makes sense.
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