Toronto man charged in absurd heist involving suitcase full of meat

In the latest news from Toronto police... well, you read the headline, this incident was a weird one.

In one of the more bizarre busts of late, two men were caught stealing from a grocer — and not just any old food staples, but a whole bunch of meat, specifically, for some reason.

I don’t know how I’d ethically respond to someone stealing food. But an entire suitcase full of meat is a bit of a stretch.

— Zakir Hussain (@ZAKIZZY) January 4, 2021

TPS issued a release this week about the crime, in which the perpetrators entered a store near Keele and Dundas west in December and "began taking meat products and placing them into a suitcase they brought with them."

When confronted by a staffer on the scene, one member of the duo began wielding a knife and making threats, after which they were able to quickly flee — to the airport, perhaps? — with an array of steaks and porkchops in hand. Well, in suitcase.

And, their getaway vehicle of choice was just as hilariously bumbling and peculiar as the crime itself: an Uber.

When you plan a meat-heist you might want to at least own a vehicle

— ItsMeJesseDee ⭐️BLM⭐️ (@ItsMeJesseDee) January 4, 2021

Thankfully, the TPS Hold Up Squad was able to identify one of the thieves, who was also apparently behind a number of other similar crimes in the area. The other suspect remains at large.

Forty-five-year-old Kevin Errol Plummer now faces charges of Robbery With Offensive Weapon, Disguise With Intent, and a whopping 11 counts of failing to comply with his probation and 13 counts of Theft Under.

And social media users are definitely having a bit of fun chattering about his escapade now that the details have been released.

Sounds like they we’re too chicken to go after him

— Ben Müller (@Torcal4) January 4, 2021

There is a No Frills, a Metro, a gourmet butcher shop and a few natural food supermarkets in the area, but it is unclear which of these outlets served as the target for the curious klepto caper, in which, luckily, no one was hurt.