Elements Nightclub takes over the space where Ace used to be on Adelaide near Brant. It bills itself as a fusion of fashion, art, and nightlife and is open every Saturday night.
Once you get by the bouncers and the door person the space reveals itself with a DJ booth on one end and a bar across one wall.
The perimeter is all bottle service booths, and there are standing bottle service spots for the type of people who drink like ballers but also have standing desks.
There is exposed brick on one side and the whole room is bathed in that blue light that people used to think deterred drug use.
Elements seems to attract a variety of patrons. There was a woman in a totally backless bodysuit, another woman working a pencil skirt in millennial pink, and almost every male was wearing some type of suit or blazer/jeans combo.
I asked the bartender if they had a signature drink, and she served me an Element shot ($8). These shots, one for each element, have booze on the bottom and are topped with dry ice to remind people of the most important element (either showmanship or carbon depending on what you value).
The Fire shot was deliciously sweet, like a red freezie - the taste of good behaviour in the summer. In contrast, The Earth shot was like sour skittles or the coolers I used to drink alone in high school before I had lots of friends.
As it got later, the DJ got louder and the bottles got even more serviced. A young woman in pigtail buns suckled a bottle of Hennessy like a newborn calf.
One of the many, many club photographers present started busting out dance moves, slowly morphing into his half-artist/half-hypeman final form.
A bartender cheekily put his face into a bucket of dry ice to the delight of the crowd around the bar, a moment of mourning for the magician career that never was.
Elements also offers what it calls a “true VIP” experience. When booking bottle service packages on their website, customers are given the option of which “Elements Angel Bottle Service Beauty” they’d like to serve their table.
The menu of angels include their names, and some pretty sexy headshots. Despite the existence of male bartenders, there is no option to be served by male Bottle Service Beauties.
Elements Nightclub is a great venue if you’re a specific subset of person: interested in bottle service, wearing a business suit, able to choose your server based on how sexy you find her without feeling weird about it.
If that’s you, you’ve found your place. For everyone else, there are a variety of other places in the city to get trashed.
Cover is $10 on guest list, $20 if not, and free before midnight.