Valentine's Day 2012 is almost upon Toronto, which means a few particular conditions are poised to set in place. Many women, attached or otherwise, are getting their hopes up while watching YouTube videos of proposals on repeat; many men, attached or otherwise, haven't yet realized it's almost Valentine's Day; and singles of all creeds are starting to band together in callous, cliché rebuff of a day they deem "too commercial." Aren't holidays fun!?

There are plenty of private ways to spend the day with your beloved — perhaps making the most of Toronto's top makeout spots — but those who like a little extra company might want to take in some of these events around the city. Here's what's going on around Valentine's Day in Toronto.

Parties

RED Masquerade Party
The second annual RED Masquerade Party is taking over the Gladstone this year, allowing for Valentine's Day necking with a hint of anonymity. The event includes live music and "mystery," which might simply refer to who goes home with whom at the end of the night. Held on Tuesday, February 14, tickets are $20 in advance and $25 at the door.

Valentine's Fetish Ball
What is Valentine's Day without rope bondage, alas? The Opera House's Valentine's Fetish Ball will be held Saturday February 11th, enough time to recoup from the "dungeon play area" activities for the actual day. The evening starts at 10 p.m., and fetish wear is mandatory. Tickets are $20 at the door.

La Tease 2012
This three hour event is actually more of a workshop — a workshop in lovin', that is. Hosted by Atelier Cafe Lounge on King, La Tease features live burlesque entertainers, a "sexy dance" workshop, relationship and dating advice and more. The event is being held from 7 p.m. to 10 p.m. on Monday, February 13, and tickets are $15 in advance.

Love Near Bellwoods: Valentine's Day Showcase
Complete with a Valentine-making station and free paper mailboxes for the first 50 guests, Love Near Bellwoods features music of the likes of Dave Monks of Tokyo Police Club, Chris White of Bellewoods, and Luke Lalonde from Born Ruffians, among others. Swooning yet? Hosted February 14 at Oz studio, the night starts at 10 p.m. and tickets are $7.

Food and Events

Toronto Love Sauna
A room at the Gladstone will be transformed into a bona fide sauna Friday, February 10, to Sunday, February 12, only lacking in authenticity in the form of an old, hairy man in a towel. Since the event is "family-friendly," birthday suits are discouraged, but those looking to take part can break out the summer shorts and t-shirts early. How romantic, right? By appointment.

Chocolate Truffle Do-It-Yourself Workshop
Buying chocolate for your Valentine is one thing, but making it yourself is entirely another. This two-hour truffle workshop teaches the basics from start to finish, and needless to say, you won't leave empty handed. Held Sunday, February 12 from 11 a.m. until 1 p.m. at the Riverdale Hub. $25 Per person.

Erotic Arts and Crafts Fair
Handmade nipple tassels? Upcycled undergarments? Erotic illustrations? These are the gems of the Erotic Arts and Crafts Fair, the place where you can pick up some fellacio-themed gifts for your partner on Valentine's Day. Held at the Gladstone, this year's fair is Saturday, February 11 from noon until 8 p.m. and admission is free.

Short & Sweet - Valentine's Love-In
A regular short film event at No One Writes to the Colonel, but this time the night is Valentine's Day-themed (though helpfully, organizers have made note to say that 'no love is required'). The films featured include those by Brooks Hunter, ab cd cd, Ettore Nicoletti, and admission is free. Monday, February 13, starting at 8 p.m.

Chocolate: The Super Food
Chocolate: The Super Food — need I say more? The George Brown Chef School is hosting a special chocolate-themed event just in time for Valentine's Day. Hosted by food writer Marilyn Smith, this learn and taste event (hopefully, emphasis on the latter) is being held Monday, February 13 from 6:30 p.m. onward. RSVP by email.

Les Coquettes Present Speakeasy
For those who think the perfect Valentine's night out should include high kicks and organic salmon fillets. Les Coquettes are kicking off their 2012 season with a burlesque dinner cabaret on the evening of February 14. At Revival at College and Ossington with executive chef Christopher Woods overseeing the dinner, the event promises sizzling, not-for-kids entertainment that is as "sumptuous as the menu." Tickets are $85 (or $35 for just the show) and doors open at 6 p.m.

Anti-Valentine's Day

Bloody Valentine Massacre
More "zombie walk" than Valentine's Day, this... uh... "atypical" Valentine's Day party encourages blood, guts, and gore, with prizes to be awarded for most appalling costume. Tuesday, February 14 at SPiN Toronto, the evening includes drinks, a photo booth, and free ping pong after 9 p.m.

Sick of Love Soiree
Now in its third year, this anti-Valentine's Day bash not only allows you to network with other cupid-haters, but a portion of all proceeds from drink sales will be donated to the Heart & Stroke Foundation. Hosted at Libra Lounge, the event kicks off at 10 p.m. on Saturday, February 11, and there is no cover (though donations are welcome).

Singles Anti-Valentine's Day Party
Toted as Toronto's largest singles anti-Valentine's Day Party, this event at C-Lounge is expected to attract upwards of 400 people. Complete with door prizes, a grand prize draw, drink specials and more, the night starts at 8 p.m. on Saturday, February 11, and tickets are $20 in advance, $30 at the door.

Photo by Jesse Milns