Does anyone actually call Spadina "Spad?" Asking for a friend (me).

Am I out of touch with the Toronto lingo? I like to think I'm still relatively current in terms of slang and pop culture references, but maybe this is my wake up call.

But, then again, at least my wake up call isn't from a microwave above my mattress ... that's on the floor.

I guess what I'm saying is that I'm okay with getting older if it means I never have to sleep next to my refrigerator, because that's what you'll have to do if you live here.

The listing, which has since been deleted, read "basement small bachelor" and they aren't kidding. It's so small that the toilet paper lives outside the bathroom. 

This space is beyond tragic. As always, there isn't a real kitchen, rather there's a hot plate and a toaster oven. Not sure if they come with, or you have to supply your own.

Also, I thought we covered this last week, but apparently my strongly worded article did nothing to dissuade landlords from shoving a hot plate on a counter and calling it a kitchen.

The fridge with the microwave on top is next to the bathroom and the "bedroom." There isn"t really a bedroom, instead there is just a sad IKEA mattress leaning against the wall.

While sleeping on the floor should be reserved solely for sleepovers under the age of 15, having the mattress directly on the tile floor would eliminate the screeching sounds of your bed frame shifting across all five feet of this apartment while you toss and turn during your restless, fridge-interrupted sleep.  

Also, how annoying would it be to sleep next to your fridge? You just know you'd be woken up every 15 minutes as it starts making those stupid humming and gurgling sounds, or when it decides 3 a.m. is the perfect time to make ice. HA! Just kidding, this fridge definitely doesn’t have an automatic ice maker.  

Specs

• Address: Dundas St. W and Spad (read: Spadina)
• Type: Basement
• Rent: $1,000/ month
• Furnished? No
• Utilities: Yes + Internet
• Air conditioning? These places don't even have a stove, they sure as heck aren't going to have AC
• Bedrooms: 0  
• Bathrooms: 1
• Parking: No
• Laundry? Coin laundry in the building
• Outdoor space? No
• Pet friendly? It's not even human friendly

Good For

Breakfast in bed. The fridge is right there…

Move On If

You think squatting would be more luxurious, because it would certainly be cheaper. Seriously, this place is $1,000 a month!