FOOD | Oyster Tuesday
Remember that scene in Mad Men where Don and Roger are out to lunch and Don is on the "Roger diet?" They're drinking dry martinis and Roger tells the waitress that he doesn't want to see the bottom of his glass. Then they just keep ordering rounds and rounds of oysters. I still think about that scene and it makes me want all of that so bad. Now's the time because Lounge 22 is starting up Oyster Tuesdays again where oysters are $1.25 each. That scene in Mad Men does end with Roger puking though, so go easy.
Lounge 22, 18 Thomas St.

COMEDY | Bitch Salad
When you think of female comedy, you probably imagine some disgruntled divorcee ranting about her ex-husband and stretch marks on stage. This is usually true, but not in this case. Bitch Salad is holding their 20th show tonight at the Buddies in Bad Times Theatre with some of their best performers including Laurie Elliot, Rhiannon Archer and Desiree Lavoy.
Buddies in Bad Times Theatre, 12 Alexander St, $10, 8pm

PARTY | INSTINCT
I hate being in a bar where they have the music cranked to such ridiculous levels that you end up leaving with a raspy voice. In this case it would be alright because Mohenu will be playing everything from Kate Bush to Washed Out. Dance, talk, fall asleep -- do whatever you want.
The Beaver, 1192 Queen St W, Free, 11pm

MUSIC | Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
I think Red Jumpsuit Apparatus had a kind of big song a couple years ago. The name sounds familiar but I'm probably getting them confused with all the other bands out there that are EXACTLY like them. If you like that, they're playing at the El Mo tonight supporting their new EP, which their MySpace boasts is sold exclusively by Hot Topic!! If you're having a bad day and want to beat someone up, there will be plenty of targets here.
El Mocambo, 484 Spadina Ave, $20, 7pm

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Photo: "Tour Du Canada" by DdotG, member of the blogTO Flickr group.