Everyone needs at least one barbaric weekend each summer. You know what I'm talking about. Shaving and showering happen only by accident. You're oozing alcohol out of your pores. You forgot to wear sunblock but the layers of mud and sweat seem to be working just fine. Mysterious wounds appear that will probably hurt later. Your ears are bleeding from deafening music as you stuff your face with party mix that may or may not have come from beneath your best friend's truck seats.

You've lost at least half the people you came with and are surrounded by friendly strangers who are all-too-eager to share their life stories. Soon a hut of beer cans shelters you in your own introspective nightmare. But the next cycle finds you kissing one of those friendly strangers... or maybe even a friend who's suddenly very attractive and you're over any episodic self-loathing. Beer flows like honey and the only kind of sleep you get over three days' time involves unconsciousness. You've survived another 3 day music festival.

If this sounds fun... or at least entertaining... take that $25 that's been rotting in your wallet, kidnap your friends who are funniest when drunk, stock up on booze and begin the road trip to Trudeau Park in Tweed. This year marks the kickoff of Metal Fest, three days of rock that hopes to rival American counterparts Ozzfest and Lollapalooza... but with the camping element of Woodstock.

"There are [Canadian] festivals, but they are too tame for these acts... too quiet," says Betty Dworatschek -- the Metal Queen herself. "Canada has a great scene: it's time to showcase it."

What can we expect musically? "There will be a metal stage and a rock stage, something here for everyone. But they all have something in common... and that is everyone rocks. There will be no jungle beats, hip hop, brass bands or RNB crooners. Although we do have a third acoustic stage in the restaurant area to keep to eaters entertained!" she tells BlogTO.

Trudeau Park hosts a wide variety of outdoor festivities including stag parties, monster truck rallies, private parties, the World Electronic Music Festival and May 2-4 celebrations. It's situated in Middle-of-Nowhere-ville, Ontario between Toronto and Montreal, closest to Belville. If you have no idea how you're going to get there, never fear, as there's a shuttle bus option leaving from Toronto. I also find bribing nice friends with free beer usually works too.

There will be running water and showers so be sure to bring towels and soap, in addition to tents, lots of bottled water, sun screen, bug repellent, sun glasses, a cooler full of sandwiches, a change of socks, condoms and hats.

LINEUP:

Friday, July 7 Start Time 7:30 p.m.

STAGE L
Heartless Past
Dook
Breadfan
No Data
Burning The Day
Slaves
Shatterpoint

STAGE M
Psychopathos
Rehab For Quitters
Labra
The Dr. Lang Band
Ash Lee Blade
Crazy Babies
littleSUNDAY

Saturday, July 8 Start Time Noon

STAGE L
Man With Target
Kronik
Papa Fogals Chair
Insurrection
I Hate Sally
Hello Beautiful
Evirus
Burn To Black
Endorphins
Beyond Within

STAGE M
Last Limit Freedom
Mister Bones
Undergods
Sin Dealer
AraPacis
Sixes & Sevens
Triton
Betrayer
Scarlet Sins
The Hollow
Warmachine
7th Reign

Sunday, July 9 Start Time Noon

STAGE L
Hollywood Murder
Valkyries Cry
Sutterkain
Omega A.D.
The Womb
Remainameless
Sex Without Souls

STAGE M
Pitch Union
Ape
Bury The Past
Downer St.
Severity
Empyrean Plague
Chaos Machine

Acoustic & Jam Stage:
Violet Lab

For tickets: Get them in advance for $25 from MQM's site or pay $35 at the gates.

CHECK BACK NEXT WEEK FOR REVIEWS!