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Why don't TTC riders give pregnant women their seats?

Posted by Guest Contributor / August 24, 2012

Pregnancy TTCI love the TTC. We're a one-car house and I want to stay that way. That means me riding the red rocket every day. Even during my first maternity leave I hauled my newborn all over the city on the rocket. He loved it and so did I (no torturous screaming car rides... I even nursed him on the subway once, much to the amusement of the 16 year old boys sitting across from us). We live on St Clair West and I love the dedicated streetcar line that is always harangued in the press. However, I have one major complaint. If I don't voice it I will turn it to THAT crazy lady on the subway.

TTC riders need to get off their asses and offer pregnant women seats.

If you aren't sure if a woman is pregnant, here are some clues:

  • If you can see her belly button through her clothes, she's pregnant.
  • If she's rubbing holding touching her belly, she's pregnant.
  • If she's slender everywhere except her stomach, she's pregnant.
  • If she makes desperate and/or rage-filled eye contact with you, she's pregnant.
  • If she's walking with her pelvis out and her hands on her back, she's pregnant.
  • If she's on her phone complaining to her friends about how no one offers pregnant women seats anymore, she's pregnant.

If you still aren't sure, just move. Don't even say anything to her. Just open that spot up.

And when your streetcar or subway comes to a stop, take a quick glance up from Fieldrunners or Fifty Shades - see any elderly people or pregnant women? No? Well, at least you checked.

Why should you offer a pregnant woman your seat? Other than basic etiquette you mean? Okay. When you're pregnant, even in early pregnancy, standing in one spot even for short periods of time can make you feel dizzy, faint and nauseous. Not to mention that with these new bodies our balance is off and we're more likely to tumble into someone's lap.

Thank you for listening.

This post was written by guest contributor Yasmine Abbasakoor. Photo by tapesonthefloor in the blogTO Flickr pool.

Discussion

153 Comments

Miranda / August 24, 2012 at 08:37 am
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You chose to get pregnant ... I chose to keep my seat. Next thing you know, you'll be wanting special parking spots and time off with pay (that I'm subsidizing). Oh ya, that's right ... you already have that.
Laura / August 24, 2012 at 08:44 am
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Giving your seat to someone who needs it is such a simple action that can make a big difference to someone's day. I worked on my feet and valued getting a seat every ride home but never felt better than when I gave it up to someone who needed it.

When I commuted pregnant, it was shocking how many people would rather push the pregnant women than offer a seat. Equally shocking was who was the most willing to give up their seat; Teenage girls.
TheVok / August 24, 2012 at 08:46 am
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It's not just etiquette, it's TTC policy, no?

It's also in everyone's best interest. A few years ago, my pregnant sister began to feel nauseous while standing in a rush-hour subway to work. She even asked for a seat, but no one gave her one.

She fainted and the train had to make an emergency stop for medical attention. It delayed everyone, not just her.
AV replying to a comment from hARRY / August 24, 2012 at 08:49 am
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What about those of us that work on our feet for 12 hour shifts? Don't we deserve a seat? Guess not because we didn't choose to have a baby.
Mel / August 24, 2012 at 08:51 am
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It's just classic herd mentality. "Someone" will give up their seat... but if I just look down, I won't be the first to take action & stand out in the crowd.
betty day / August 24, 2012 at 08:55 am
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While pregnant, I found that women aged 40ish-60ish who had kids were the ones most likely to give up their seats.
Ben / August 24, 2012 at 08:57 am
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I was shocked at the stories my wife told me about riding the TTC while she was pregnant. Men looked away and pretended they didn't see her as the struggled to stand on the subway and streetcar.
bettycrocker / August 24, 2012 at 09:00 am
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i have seen every elderly shaky adults stand and almost fall down while people roughly 30 years in age hog all the seats. And watch them almost falling down, and still not offer a sit. Where the hell have we gone wrong in society, when we no longer give a sh!t about other people?
James replying to a comment from Dave / August 24, 2012 at 09:00 am
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Agree with Dave - when it's crowded you can only see the few people in front of you, so it's hard to tell who needs the seat. But, I've taken the ttc for years and for the most part people seem courteous to old, handicapped, injured and pregnant. I see people offer seats to those who need them all the time. Sometimes it doesn't happen when it should - but usually it does. We just remember the times it doesn't - that's all.
Dizzy / August 24, 2012 at 09:04 am
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"Equally shocking was who was the most willing to give up their seat; Teenage girls"

That's interesting Laura. I read a book a few years ago which I think was a compilation of columns about the NYC subway. Anyway, one of the articles involved asking a number of pregnant women who tended to give up their seats and the overwhelming answer was young women and young hispanic men. (The middle aged of both sexes were the worst).

Generally I don't want to sit on a crowded subway - I've had too many fat sweaty people leaning into me, people eating next to me, rude morons in earphones who won't move when I need to get out, etc etc. I rather stand so I'm not trapped. But if I am sitting and someone gives me that desperate "I'm knackered" look I always give it up, it's such a nothing thing to do that can make someone feel better.
Cry me a river / August 24, 2012 at 09:05 am
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I agree it isn't just about pregnant and not pregnant....anyone who looks like they could really use a seat....elderly, kids, parents trying to control kids, whatever it msy be. Where is common decency these days? It's sad that so many are sooooo self involved!!
tdotlib / August 24, 2012 at 09:09 am
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Or you could, you know, speak up and ask for a seat. We all get in to our own worlds on transit - a polite: "Would you mind if I took your seat?" would get me to pay attention and realize that you need it more than me. Or you could just be a whiny bitch about it.
Nope / August 24, 2012 at 09:09 am
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Please stop complaining.
At least people can tell you need a seat. I'm in my early 30's and have joint pain all over my body from Rheumatoid Arthritis and I'm in constant pain and no one EVER gives me a seat because I look young.

You complaining that because you chose to get pregnant and people won't bow down to you and give you a seat as a result is ridiculous and insulting
inconsiderate / August 24, 2012 at 09:12 am
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So, I was thinking about this very topic this morning and I know this comment may be perceived the wrong way. I know you all will think I'm an inconsiderate jerk after reading this, and that is something I'm just gonna have to live with. When it comes to the elderly, the pregnant, or someone who clearly looks like they are having the worst day on earth, I will give you my seat - gladly. I'm young, I can stand.

However, I am an impatient jerk in the mornings and don't like the fact that I have to go into work let alone the fact that I have to face the crowds (and my claustrophobia) to get there in the first place. I will gladly give you my seat, but I wish the TTC had something like a fast lane and a slow lane.

If you are pregnant, old, or insist on wearing 4inch heels on the subway, you can go in the slow lane. The rest of us impatient asses will be in the fast lane battling it out to be one of the first out of the pits of hell that is TTC Subway at rush hour. I honestly think it would be better for all parties. I'm sorry if that makes me sound rude or impetuous.
I agree replying to a comment from AV / August 24, 2012 at 09:13 am
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Good point. I work long hours on my feet too. I deserve a seat at the end of the day and I really don't appreciate the cold stares from people demanding I give up my right to a seat. I hurried to go get one so I could rest.
Thing About Others / August 24, 2012 at 09:15 am
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Everyone deserves a seat every now and then.

You don't have to be pregnant or elderly or handicapped. If you've worked a 12 hr shift and the thought of getting up burns the soles of your feet then let someone else who is feeling better that day get up.

If I see someone who clearly needs a seat, I always get up. But if someone is older but seems to be quite spry and I've had a ghastly day, then that day, perhaps I hope that someone else will get up. When I'm feeling refreshed and was simply lucky enough to get a seat, I will give it up to anyone who looks like they need is, irrespective of age, pregnancy, ability, etc. I'll even give up my seat to someone engrossed in a book, swinging back and forth.

Most days you won't die from an extra 30mins on your feet, but some days you feel like you just might.
the lemur / August 24, 2012 at 09:23 am
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Because people are oblivious and inconsiderate (not just on the TTC). I'll give up my seat to anyone who seems pregnant/unwell/old/very young enough to need it and I don't mind standing because I can manage to hold on.
Ur / August 24, 2012 at 09:30 am
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.. always happy to give up my seat, except the time I had headphones on and was staring out the window when a pregnant woman decides to start screaming at me for not giving up my seat, when I wasn't even aware of her being on the bus- of course there were any number of people not giving them up but I guess it's only me who deserved that. Anyway, still gave it up.
Alberich / August 24, 2012 at 09:38 am
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Giving up your seat to someone who appears to need it more than you do is by all means the appropriate thing to do. This is why I almost never take a seat unless there are many open.

At the same time, the article writer's ridiculous sense of entitlement is very off-putting. It would be a shame if all pregnant women felt that way.
KL / August 24, 2012 at 09:38 am
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I'm a 20 year old who often works 12-13 hours a day and im damn sure my parents still raised me well enough that I would give up my seat even after working said shift. These women "choose" to get pregnant so we can have a future generation, idiots.
RC / August 24, 2012 at 09:41 am
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I'm currently very pregnant and I just want to say that I've had a pretty great experience on the ttc with this pregnancy - so many people have been so generous with their seats on subways and streetcars. And it's been all sorts of people, young, middle-aged, male, female, all ethnicities. And I have had to ask for a seat on one occasion and the teenage girl I asked hopped right up to let me sit down. So thanks everyone who is doing this and being considerate. It's very much appreciated!
jen / August 24, 2012 at 09:42 am
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Sometimes people have ailments or disabilities that aren't obvious or visible. Please stop giving people death stares...you never know what is going on with them on the inside. That young woman who is sitting down just might be pregnant as well, and dizzy, and not showing yet.

Instead of ranting, just ask someone nicely if you can sit down; say that you're tired/dizzy/nauseous/whatever, and you would really appreciate a seat. No one is going to say no to that. Remember that most people on transit are off in their own worlds after a long day at work and they don't really notice the people around them, pregnant or no. They're not slighting you...they just don't see you.
Soused / August 24, 2012 at 09:59 am
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Generally I stand and read because I don't want to look up from reading each stop to see if someone needs my seat. With that said there are times when I am so unbelievably drunk and hungover that I have to fight off vomiting right there and then.

To all the pregnant women, old people, people with children or other baggage sorry those few times I did not give up my seat. I think you would agree standing on a TTC > sitting in subway car covered in vomit.
Diana / August 24, 2012 at 09:59 am
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Since when is being pregnant a disability? It is not. My Mother worked on her feet as as bank teller until she went into labor. She took the bus and subway to work everyday. People are becoming so selfish. Now I see all these special parking spaces for pregnant women or families with kids....again since when is being pregnant a disability? Those parking spaces discriminate against anyone who is not pregnant but DOES have a disability that might not be noticeable. I use them, because being pregnant is NOT a disability. I know of two women that JOGGED everyday they carried, so get over yourself, you are not disabled you are pregnant!
Bullit replying to a comment from jen / August 24, 2012 at 10:09 am
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100% agree. Some people need a seat more than you would think. For example my 25 year old friend looks normal until you realize that he can't move his ankle due to the metal plates in it (shot in Afghanistan).

As an aside, I read a ton on the subway and very easily get lost in my own world but do not take offense to someone asking for a seat. Just ask and I will get up, no biggie.
Unentitled / August 24, 2012 at 10:13 am
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It's shocking to see how many people think that the price of a token earns them a right to sit down on public transit; like somehow they've earned it through some act of contrition in handing over a few bucks. You paid to be shuttled across the city and as there are relatively few seats on all our transit vehicles, getting to put your ass in one is a treat.
If you honestly believe that running through the open doors with your elbows up means you have the right to sit down, I hope your smug sense of entitlement eases the shame you'll feel when everyone standing is staring you down for not offering up your seat to someone visibly in need. I, for one, won't stop there. As a father myself, I will actually break social convention and speak out loud (very loud, so everyone in the car will hear) and ask you politely to give your seat. I hope everyone else will do the same. Speak up for others.
stander / August 24, 2012 at 10:17 am
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This is straightforward, but it gets less clear with other groups.

I'm a male in my 20s. Should I stand for able-bodied men in their 60s? Women in their 20s? Women in their 30s? 40s?

Will they get offended? Will I look unnecessarily white-knight-ish?

To avoid these issues I just stand, even if there are seats free.
Miranda replying to a comment from vampchick21 / August 24, 2012 at 10:17 am
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I'm extremely respectful to the elderly and disabled and always offer my seat or assistance. Growing old or being disabled is not a choice they have made.

And you're right, I am happily "child-free". That's why it makes me mad that just because a woman chooses to get pregnant, she demands and gets the rights that I don't have.

I'm not entitled to a mat leave because I don't have kids yet I still have to pay into it (and subsidize others). Why can't I take a sabbatical for a year and get 55% of my salary?

Pregnant women get to park closer to malls, theatres, etc. Wouldn't the same walk I have to do be beneficial for them?
Ἀντισθένης / August 24, 2012 at 10:18 am
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And I thought Tokyo was bad. I'll stop telling my wife how much better Toronto is based on half the comments here. However, it must be said there are so many obese people in Canada, it can be hard to be sure one is pregnant until the distinctive shape of the last trimester (and even then...). Tokyo women? You can tell in the first trimester.

If you can't give up your seat because of empathy, give it up so you can have pride in yourself. If you don't understand, you never can.
Rob / August 24, 2012 at 10:21 am
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First, if I see someone who needs a seat, I do give them my seat - regardless of the time. I can stand. However, I can count numerous times where I offer to give up my seat to the elderly or pregnant women only to be told they don't need it because they are getting off a few stations away. So, my confusion comes from these scenarios. I've offered, they said no, should I continue to offer? How can I assume the next person who comes on is only one for a few stops? This, and selfishness, is where the perceived 'attitude' comes from, I think. I would rather have someone ask me if I could give up my seat - I'll get up and leave the seat. This way I know they need the seat and I don't need to go through a pointless exercise where I offer and they say no.
Cry me a river / August 24, 2012 at 10:21 am
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It's true I wish that random acts of kindness would happen all the time and be just common place.
Patrick / August 24, 2012 at 10:23 am
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As an able-bodied guy, I only feel comfortable sitting down if there is more than one empty seat on the train. I make it a point never to take the last empty seat.
Broke my foot / August 24, 2012 at 10:26 am
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I always give up my seat to those who look like they need it - I will never forget when I broke my foot people on the subway just looked at me and didn't get up. I had to ask.
I don't think a pregnant woman should be afraid to ask either, its not always as obvious as they think (I had a friend offered a seat because someone thought she was pregnant and she was mortified).
Alex / August 24, 2012 at 10:28 am
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Absolutely shocked at the comments on here. Whatever happened to doing the right thing? If you notice not just a pregnant lady, but an elderly person, ill person, or disabled person, you get up and give your seat. Chivalry was once considered honourable.

This selfishness is absolutely shameful, deplorable and unbecoming.
James / August 24, 2012 at 10:32 am
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It's laughable how some compare 12hr work shifts to a woman growing a human being in their belly.

Give up the seat for the pregnant and elderly, and enjoy being a part of a civilized society.
Teddy Boragina / August 24, 2012 at 10:34 am
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Should an elderly person give up their seat to a pregnant woman? Or, another pregnant woman? Likely the answer is no. How about a young person? You probably look at that person and wonder what's wrong with them if they do not move. The problem is you never know why they are not moving, did they just finish a 12 hour shift in a factory? Are they of limited mobility, or perhaps even, limited vision? You can't always see when someone needs a seat and trying to guilt people into giving up their seat to someone who has a visible need just attacks those with an invisible need.
Alberich replying to a comment from Unentitled / August 24, 2012 at 10:35 am
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Why does pregnancy earn someone a greater right to sit down than anyone else? It doesn't. Pregnant women don't deserve to sit simply because they're pregnant. If a pregnant woman is offered a seat, it's because the other person happened to notice and was kinder than was necessary.

People should endeavour to be kinder than is necessary.
Danielle / August 24, 2012 at 10:37 am
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I try to give my seat up if I see a woman visibly pregnant or an elderly person, but I don't always know if somebody is pregnant. I offered my seat to a woman who wasn't pregnant once, but looked it and she chewed me out, I felt terrible. I still offer but only if I'm sure.
uh huh replying to a comment from Diana / August 24, 2012 at 10:40 am
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I agree that the whole specialty parking space thing is a bit ridiculous, however it should be noted that those parking spots are installed by the retailers in an attempt to appeal to their customer base. Anyway, I really don't see how a pregnant woman hoping for some common courtesy from able-bodied people in her midst is being selfish. Have you ever been pregnant yourself? Just because you've known a few pregnant superwomen doesn't make it the standard. When I was a child riding the TTC with my mother, she always instructed me to offer my seat to any person elderly, pregnant, disabled or with small children. Offering your seat isn't an example of the wave of entitlement plaguing our society. It's one of the most basic forms of etiquette I would hope most children are still being raised with. If not, our society is going to continue to spiral down the toilet hole.
Kat replying to a comment from Nope / August 24, 2012 at 10:40 am
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This. I *do* give up my seat when I'm able-bodied, but as someone with a degenerative disc, I am often in severe pain but otherwise look young and healthy. I've gotten dirty looks from pregnant women when I literally wouldn't have been able to manage the movement to stand up out of my seat. If you think standing while nauseous is bad, try standing when one of your vertebrae has shifted and is pressing on a nerve. But that's not an injury you can SEE, so people just assume I'm lazy.

We all have problems. We have to be more polite and accommodating to people on both ends. Maybe you really do need a seat, but you never know who needs it more.

(However, people who take up three seats for their backpack and ipod? They're just jerks.)
Ando / August 24, 2012 at 10:46 am
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I find that 'most' transit taking Torontonians are self absorbed, apathetic assholes. They see the pregnant lady, the mother holding a crying baby or elderly old man desperately trying to find somewhere horizontal to sit, but as long as they avoid making eye contact with them, their conscious is clear.

I'll give my seat up for someone that looks like they need it. If I'm standing, I have no problem asking on their behalf. You can get pretty far by shaming someone though, its just sad that this is my Toronto.


Tommy / August 24, 2012 at 10:49 am
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This really isn't a difficult issue. The average Torontonian will go to extreme lengths to avoid any sort of public interaction, as evidenced by the number of iPod headphone/sunglasses/hoodie wearing folks on the TTC.

Given this point, we must accept the fact that most of us ignore all people around us; pregnant, disabled or other, it doesn't matter. Therefore, the onus unfortunately must be on the seat-wanter, rather than the wantee, to instigate the seat-swap interaction.

Maybe at some point in the future we'll all be nicer to each other, but this is the current custom. Take it or leave it.
Alison replying to a comment from Broke my foot / August 24, 2012 at 10:49 am
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Broke my foot, the same thing happened to me a few months back, but I was the one offering the seat. I wrongly made the assumption that a woman was in the early stages of a pregnancy based on her body language. (IE. Hand on stomach, other hand rubbing back, stomach looking rounded, etc.) Boy, was that an awkward conversation.

Let me tell you, if you guess wrong, it's just as mortifying...

I usually do offer my seat when I can. But, during morning rush hour, I rely heavily on being able to sleep on the train to work. So, I usually try to sit where it'd be less convenient for me to give up my seat versus someone else.
Nicole / August 24, 2012 at 10:51 am
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Wow I love how, "You chose to get pregnant." is a defense, when you damn well know a lot of people don't choose to get pregnant. What you're really saying is, "Since you chose not to have an abortion and, instead, decided to nurture and have your child, you don't deserve a seat." Real smooth guys.

You worked 12 hours and have one heavy bag, oh that must be just awful! Now imagine carrying that heavy bag, strapped to your stomach, for those entire 12 hours, and then some (oh like, for a few months straight).
jae / August 24, 2012 at 10:52 am
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I'm not surprised at some of the attitudes expressed here. When New Yorkers are friendlier and more helpful than Torontonians, you know there's a problem. I've struggled with a suitcase in the TTC and other public places, and people just look at me and keep walking. In New York I was offered help even when I didn't need it.

This "chooses to be pregnant" is bullshit...your mother also chose to be pregnant with you, so have some respect and manners. Although admittedly I can't always tell a pregnant woman from one with a large stomach, I do make an effort if it's obvious...same with parents holding kids or struggling on stairs with strollers, the elderly, people with crutches etc.

Rob's "dilemma" over riders declining an offered seat is a sad, weird one. I've never had anyone be less than appreciative when declining a seat and I think it makes both of us feel a little bit nice, no?

When I sprained my ankle and had a cane years ago, I was constantly offered seats, had doors opened for me etc. That courtesy seems to be lacking now.
K replying to a comment from Miranda / August 24, 2012 at 10:55 am
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My mom has a disability and I am always amazed at the acts of chivalry that happens when she visits Toronto. People give up their seats and offer to haul her luggage up the TTC stairs.

I was raised in a small town and won't give up that mentality when riding the TTC in this city. Do the right thing people.

Miranda, you are the exception to the rule. Your sense of entitlement makes me worry about society today.
Shawn / August 24, 2012 at 10:56 am
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As someone who has actually been pushed over and used as a human ramp while trying to board a bus at Kipling station with the subway out of commission, I think it's unreasonable to expect any sort of compassion or etiquette from TTC passengers.
DL replying to a comment from RC / August 24, 2012 at 10:58 am
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Thank you! It goes both ways, ladies and gents. Death stares just perpetuate bad vibes to everyone involved. Author, if you would politely ask someone to give up their seat I don't see why they wouldn't. Just don't feel as if everyone has to feel obligated to rush to your aid. You never know what that person is going through. Sure, it'd be nice if everyone would leap to aid total strangers but that's unreasonable to presume. Politeness and courtesy are sorely lacking these days. Everyone thinks they deserve to receive it without giving it.
James / August 24, 2012 at 11:02 am
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3rd trimester, sure.
Very pregnant, very elderly and disabled, sure.

Here's a novel idea, though, for all the petulant, entitled riders who feel their age or sex warrants them a seat: open your mouth and ask for it.

I'm a healthy 20something male, and I've no interest in being 'courteous' to an able-bodied neighbour who thinks the world should read their mind and roll out the red carpet for them.
Lauren / August 24, 2012 at 11:03 am
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Don't be so passive. If you're pregnant and standing is unbearable, don't give cold stares and suffer. Plainly state that you are pregnant/not feeling well/etc., and ask if someone is willing to give up their seat.
Nicole replying to a comment from ouch / August 24, 2012 at 11:04 am
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And so much worse! My niece is four months old now and my sister's still having hip issues. I am making an uneducated guess that it's related to her being a skinny little thing; I don't think she had the bone structure for pregnancy!
Linds / August 24, 2012 at 11:05 am
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I don't think common courtesy is dead. My Mom was visiting recently and was pleasantly surprised people offered her a seat on transit. She's not elderly and is quite content to stand but thought it was so nice of those 'young men' who gave up their seat for her. There are always going to be entitled *ssholes in the world, but luckily there are people out there still who were raised to treat everyone with respect and kindness.
E / August 24, 2012 at 11:12 am
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Honestly, these hostile comments surprise me. When I was pregnant and riding the TTC twice a day, I was almost always offered a seat...from about the middle of my second trimester, when I was visibly showing. I think it was only once or twice that someone on the subway didn't offer. I didn't feel entitled to a seat, but I really appreciated it every time it happened. I tried to travel early to work and back so that I had a higher chance of finding a seat on my own.

As for why pregnant women should get seats as opposed to people tired from their day at work: well, there are a couple of reasons. One, it's really hard to keep your balance when you're pregnant - there's a lot of weight sticking out the front of your abdomen, making falls more likely. And two, if you actually *do* fall, then the consequences are much worse. You could hurt the baby or go into preterm labour.

But all that being said, I was pleasantly surprised at how courteous TTC riders were during my pregnancy. I even had one lady yell at someone for trying to sit down in a free seat that I was heading towards!
Adam / August 24, 2012 at 11:15 am
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A) there are designated seats for elderly/disabled (and I guess pregnant.) if I've moved all the way to the back of a vehicle or not near the door in the subway, I'm keeping my bloody seat. Some other jerk is taking up the priority seating, "stare" at them. Which brings me to...
B) angry stares? Seriously? How torontonian. I can't get over how passive aggressive people are. How about instead of glaring at someone who may or may not have noticed you, you ask "hey, would you mind letting me sit down? I'm pregnant." do you honestly think anyone would say no? If they say no, you can stand there glaring at them, filled with rage. But refusing to ask and expecting the entire world is aware of you and your needs? That's emotionally immature. And finally,
C) why aren't any of you passive aggressive pregnant ladies writing politicians to tell them to fund our god damned transit system so every vehicle isn't packed as tight as an industrial chicken farm? I guess a letter isn't a great forum for a cold, rage-y stare.

COMMUNICATION SKILLS!!!
EMBARASSED TORONTONIAN / August 24, 2012 at 11:15 am
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THIS IS DISGUSTING. I cannot believe those of you who say you would not give up your seat, and that women CHOSE to be pregnant. Need I remind you, that YOUR MOTHERS WERE ONCE PREGNANT WITH YOU. And, should some woman with poor judgement (or man, if you are shamefully women who supports this) EVER choose to have children with you, you need to keep in mind what you've been saying here and know that this is how you view the woman carrying your child. One more thing, if a woman 'choosing' to get pregnant is your defence, you are 'choosing' to work a 12 hour day.
tired of TO / August 24, 2012 at 11:42 am
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the way i see it, torontonians just really lack empathy. now i by no means think all pregnant woman have the 'right' to a seat.. just like nobody really does. i mean, we all pay the same fare (more or less) and are technically entitled to whatever service is available with a public transportation system. having said that, shouldn't the first thought on our collective minds be 'how can i help', not 'how can i avoid'.. which is so classic toronto? this really is a much larger issue, beyond the ttc, but its clearly seen here.
if you're tired, worked a 12 hour shift, you shouldn't have to get up.. but i'm sure for every exhausted worker, there are many more who are totally fine to jump up and stand for a while.
Mark / August 24, 2012 at 11:55 am
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It really is simple. If you are healthy and able to stand you should if the seat is needed by anyone, old, pregnant, crippled etc. Instead people are content to live in their fantasy world and think only of themselves. And then these same subway riders are the ones who claim car drivers are the selfish ones.
Dan / August 24, 2012 at 12:37 pm
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What selfish people on here. What percent of riders are actually preggers? How often would you actually have to give your seat up?? Once in a month? Twice maybe? The horror!

I think the point is that if most able-bodied people were more willing to give up their seats, then there really isn't that big of a burden on any one person specifically, and those who genuinely can't get up for reasons not obvious to the naked eye (ie back problems, foot problems, 50 shades-related dampness) don't look like a**holes, and frankly don't have any reason to feel bad because someone was kind enough to not even really hesitate to give up their seat. For Christ sake, you guys talk about pregnant women like they're welfare freeloaders or something. Get a grip, seriously!

So just a recap: if you're healthy and unwilling to give up your seat to someone who is OBVIOUSLY pregnant - because that's really what we're talking about here; we're not talking first trimester or women carrying a little extra weight - then you can DIAF as far as I'm concerned. The world is better off without the likes of your particular brand of selfishness. I should think even Ayn Rand would agree with me on this, for once in my life.
Christina / August 24, 2012 at 12:39 pm
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Practice empathy. That's all. It only takes a few seconds. Just look around, as the doors open and close, and ask yourself, "Does anyone coming in look like they could really use a seat or a hand?"

You know the various instances - elderly, disabled, leaden with bags, having a hard time rustling their kids. It DOESN'T MATTER whether they chose their fate or not - in that moment, it's just you recognizing that someone might need help or a spot to rest their bum.

And if you're able to offer a seat or a hand, then go for it! If not, that's okay, too. If you had a really tough day and you feel your exhaustion outweighs the benefits to the other person, then stay put. You don't have to get into these issues of entitlement and weighing who "deserves" it more. We all need these kind gestures now and then. It's a quick decision to make.

Personally, when I was pregnant, I was often offered a seat (usually by women and then by men when I became more visibly bumped out). There are days when you're pregnant that you happily accept a seat - maybe you're out of breath from everything pushing up on your diaphragm, or maybe the bus is packed and you're afraid of being elbowed in the belly or falling - and other days when you'd politely decline because standing feels better. There was one day when I was pregnant where I had a seat but gave it up to a woman with a cane. No one else was offering, but she looked to be struggling more than I was. I wasn't trying to be a hero, but my empathy got me out of my seat.

It does stink to be invisibly infirm - arthritis, sprains, that sort of thing. When I was recovering from a broken leg, no one could see I was in pain from standing. I bore it as best I could, watched for an opening, or if it got bad enough, I'd ask for a seat.
TO Woman / August 24, 2012 at 12:55 pm
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There is an overt and tangible lack of passenger TTC etiquette or sensitivity to the elderly or disabled in Scarborough. I don't remember these issues, say 10 years ago ~ but then Toronto's demographic has changed dramatically. I also have to to mention the difficulty for EVERYONE to navigate the front aisle of a bus when you have moms with big strollers sitting across from each other...leaving passengers 6-8 inches to move safely past them. Some will take up 2 front seats themselves to accomodate the length of their stroller and be indignant about moving to say one side only and giving us passengers a way through. The drivers do nothing and they should do more to ensure elderly, disabled and regular passengers are safely boarded. Have used TTC all my life. Can tell you the fabric of Toronto has changed forever; it's no longer Toronto the Good. TTC needs to address the changing demographic of the city; perhaps spell out our established cultural norms (in this case, etiquette) in 10 different languages. Who thought simple acts of kindness would require guiding signage and translation.
i block everyone out / August 24, 2012 at 12:59 pm
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It's not you I'm ignoring, it's everyone. Riding transit is stressful, and I block it out as best I can and occasionally even relax during my ride. The chief joy of transit is that someone else is driving and i don't have to constantly be aware of my surroundings. It's also impolite to check out every woman who gets on the train, bus or streetcar, and I'm still figuring out how to notice your (only sometimes) distinctive body shape without it looking like I'm doing this. (as well, I have also had situations where my offer of a seat has caused offense.) So generally these days I try to avoid sitting where I might need to give up my seat, and so I no longer try to perform the awkward dance of judging age, infirmity and pride (that is likelihood to offend) with just a quick glance.
A / August 24, 2012 at 01:25 pm
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I'll never forget the time I was 9 months pregnant and I was sitting on a packed bus. An elderly person with a cane entered the bus, nobody got up to offer this gentleman a seat so I, the ready to birth pregnant woman, offered him my seat. I'd like to think things like that are not the norm but from some of the comments here, who knows.
ED / August 24, 2012 at 01:30 pm
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All they need do is ask and I'll offer it! The problem with this city is that no one talks to each other! They look at you funny if you ask, and that's so embarrassing to them that they just avoid the situation completely, mill around and hope that they'll give up their seat. If they don't, well then, they're bastards or bitches who deserve what karma's coming to them! How am I supposed to know you're pregnant? I can't read your mind! Tell me and I'll move for you!
Sean / August 24, 2012 at 01:31 pm
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I never see other women getting up for a pregnant woman. As for men, they've been shoved the 'equality' agenda for so long by the equal rights movement, now they are showing the same respect as the other women do.
dee / August 24, 2012 at 02:25 pm
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I am a 30-something "child-free" woman (don't want kids, don't even like 'em!) but you know what? I always give up my seat without hesitation to anyone who needs it! Pregnant, elderly, someone with a baby, even someone just tired-looking or whatever...why? Because all you need is a drop of empathy to understand how the other person must be feeling, and how hard it would be to stand on a moving train/bus...just think for one second how the other person must feel. Does this not move you?! If you are able to stand, how can you sit there while someone struggles before your very eyes, knowing you could help make their day just a bit better...but purposefully do nothing?!

I think to the times when i HAVE had help in a situation, and how grateful I felt for the person who helped me - for instance, there have been times on the TTC when people have offered to help me move very heavy luggage up the stairs. Just total strangers who saw i was having a hard time, and offered to help! Could i have eventually done it on my own? Probably! But with their kind help, it was a lot less of a struggle and made my day a lot happier! It's a wonderful feeling!

We should all strive as human beings to HELP EACH OTHER for goodness sake!! This is not a difficult concept to grasp!
Greg / August 24, 2012 at 04:04 pm
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The comments here and photo at the top of this article reinforce my viewpoint that the TTC is a dehumanizing way to commute. The unhappy expressions on your faces and your high density of people per square foot remind me of WWII photos of people being loaded onto boxcars to be transported to death camps. I feel sorry for all of you without other options, both those with and without seats.
Al / August 24, 2012 at 06:10 pm
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There are designated handicap seats. If someone is sitting there, ask them to move so you can sit down. Don't just stand there and then write some passive-aggressive blog post criticizing all TTC users.
Chris replying to a comment from Diana / August 24, 2012 at 06:39 pm
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Being pregnant is not disabled. However, many pregnant woman experience complications or symptoms that make them very sick or tired. The reason to give up seat to them is one, to alleviate their pain from nausea, heartburn, hemmoids, swollen feet, back pain and rib pain from torn muscles and sometimes broken ribs, diarea, dizziness and low blood pressure. The second reason is more simple, if pregnant lady happen to fall as the are already have poor balance, the baby's life can be at risk. The same reason is why there are pregnant family spots. The further a mother has to walk on winter road covered with snow, the greater the chance she could fall and potentially endanger the baby's life. I'd like to hear who thinks resting their feet from working a day is more important than someone else's life. Courteseis to pregnant women or families is for the CHILDREN, not for the moms only.
Invisible / August 25, 2012 at 07:27 am
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I'm chronicly ill, in and out of hospital, only leave the house for my weekly doctors appointment, and never ever ever get offered a seat just because I'm young looking. The solution to this problem is simple. During rush hour, if you're healthy, stand so ALL the sick, disabled, and elderly can fill the seats. Because at this time, there is always somebody with an invisible disability left standing.
Mike Kennedy / August 26, 2012 at 10:30 am
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I should be shocked, but I am not. When I moved to Toronto I found it the coldest city I had ever visited or lived in. LA and New York were actually filled with MUCH nicer and friendlier people. I automatically open doors and give up my seat, but see grown men who act like , petulant children not doing the same. Your mothers should slap you for being such little jerks. The comments here representing such jerks we're almost in the majority. Calling out the men here. I more often see a woman give up her seat. Shame on you sniveling little entitled whimps out there.
AV replying to a comment from Laura / August 26, 2012 at 12:12 pm
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It's shocking how many people don't offer people their seats. Young punk kids - under 18 - who sit there ignoring the old women or man, or the person with a cane, or even when someone says "hey, I injured myself, can I have that seat?" and the douche bag kid ignores you.
I tore ligaments, cartilage, and muscle in my right ankle and leg a couple months back. I was - doctors orders - using a cane for 4 weeks. Only ONE TIME did ONE person offer me a seat, and it was a person 20-30 years older than I was. I told him no he needed it more, and told the 20yr old woman beside him to move. She scowled until I 'accidentally' hit her with my cane, then move.
victoria / August 27, 2012 at 02:49 am
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Being pregnant isn't technically a disability, but unless you have actually been pregnant, I can see how it would be difficult to understand how pregnancy is a very uncomfortable, often painful (albeit temporary) condition. Some women have very easy pregnancies. Maybe you did, or your mom, or "like 5 of your girlfriends" all had perfect pregnancies, where they never felt sick, or tired and they all had a painless labour that was over in less than 4 hours. Many pregnant women are not this lucky. Pregnancy is horrible. To be fair, I didn't really "choose" pregnancy. What I chose was to have children, and I consider the pregnancy merely the way of obtaining these children. I actually hate being pregnant so badly because of how horrible it makes my life for 9 months that even though I want to have one more CHILD, I dread the idea of living through another pregnancy.

I don't even take the TTC (thank god, because it sounds like a nightmare), but obviously a pregnant woman is not "entitled" to be offered a seat just because she is pregnant. If someone is nice enough to offer up their seat, that's great. If not, you stand. Pregnant or not. Unless you want a seat badly enough to ask for one. So, pregnancy sucks, but if no one wants to give up their seat, then you should ask, or just get tougher and suck it up.

I can't believe people have even brought up the special parking spots for pregnant ladies. Getting around during pregnancy is difficult. Pregnancy is very hard on your muscles and joints. I can't believe people would have a problem with some retailers offering special parking spots to pregnant ladies so they don't have to walk as far. I think if that is a worry or inconvenience or even a thought in your small-minded world, then you really need a reality check of what real grown-up problems are.
opensource / August 27, 2012 at 09:49 am
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I get up for pregnant woman, elderly and the disabled. It's the right thing to do, even if I'm tired. There is no danger to me in standing, maybe a little discomfort.

However, I don't give up my seat to all women, just b/c they are female. It annoys me when women purposely stand right beside seated men, with the hope/expectation that they will give up their seat. Those women, I ignore.
Kelly / August 27, 2012 at 01:53 pm
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After a lifetime of giving up my seat to those in need, this morning I took the last seat on a very crowded streetcar, receiving heaps of dirty looks in the process. I'm in my thirties and not pregnant -- however I have a partially torn LCL muscle, in addition to a sprained knee (amongst other concerns). Standing for long periods of time is very painful for me, but I still have to get to work, carrying a heavy laptop, every single day. Maybe I should get a sign that says "I'm broken, not lazy", to avoid the public shaming that some people on here seem hellbent on giving!
Always / August 27, 2012 at 05:12 pm
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I no longer ride the TTC. I just bike everywhere, however when I used to take the TTC, I would always offer my seat to elderly, disabled, pregnant women, and anyone who I could see needed one. I work on my feet a lot so having a seat on a long subway ride home takes the load off, however I would still gladly give my seat up to anyone in need.

With all that said, I have no sympathy for overweight people who need a seat. And yes they chose to become overweight so it is their own fault. I know people who can't control their weight gain, but through sheer hard work and dedication they are still relatively normal sized.
victoria replying to a comment from Not Irish but like em / August 27, 2012 at 11:24 pm
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My apologies to "NOT IRISH BUT LIKE EM" that my "whining" has offended you. In case you didn't notice, I did say that just because someone is pregnant doesn't mean they are entitled to be offered a seat. They have the ability to advocate for themselves and ask. And again, I'm so elated to hear about the perfect pregnant ladies with their perfect happy pregnancies making the effort to go to your gym and attend classes until their due date. That's good for them. All I was saying is not everyone has a happy, painless, enjoyable pregnancy free of complications. Which is why it is nice if someone offers their seat, or why it is nice that they have special parking spots. I don't really understand why you have a problem with anything I said. Not everyone enjoys pregnancy, and I'm allowed to have an opinion on it (and I know I'm not the only one). My first pregnancy was much easier than my second. But I still hated it both times. You honestly don't sound like you have ever been pregnant before, or maybe it's just been too long since you have been pregnant and you just don't remember that it is hard on your body. I'm not making this s@#$ up or anything. Pregnancy IS hard on your body. That is a fact.

If I need to run into the grocery store for 5 minutes to grab milk and I don't want to park miles away from the entrance, I am not going to feel guilty about using those parking spots when I'm pregnant. Of course exercise is good for pregnant ladies, but when you are dead tired and just need to run out to grab some friggin milk, a hike from your car from the other end of the parking lot in 30 degree heat (or in ice and snow in the winter) can be pretty exhausting and even dangerous.

Anyway, my original point was not to "whine" but to explain how being pregnant can be uncomfortable or painful SIMILAR to, but NOT THE SAME as a disability. I thought I was pretty clear, so I still don't get why my first post bothered you so much. You sound like one of those people that needs to get a life and not pointlessly worry about pregnant ladies getting special parking spots.
victoria / August 27, 2012 at 11:36 pm
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In case I am going to be misunderstood again, let me make it crystal clear:

-If you are pregnant, you are not entitled to be offered a seat
-It is a very kind gesture if someone DOES offer you their seat
-If you feel you need a seat and no one has offered, just ask
-If no one wants to give up their seat, suck it up and stand

And my sincere apologies to anyone else who found my earlier "whining" offensive. I was just trying to explain something from my own experiences and perspective.
Susan replying to a comment from tdotlib / August 28, 2012 at 09:24 am
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This is what drives me nuts. I always give up my seat when I see an older person/pregnant lady/person in need, but when it's packed, it's hard to see everything.

My mom complains all the time about seeing jerks with their bags on the seat when the subway is packed and I'm like, then why doesn't anyone ask if they can move their bag so they can sit? That's what I do. I'm not saying these people aren't jerks, but if you want a seat, sometimes you have to ask for it.
billy / August 28, 2012 at 10:10 am
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I once offered my seat to a young pregnant woman who just got on the subway from Yoga class, all decked out in Lululemon. She smiled and said "no thanks" and opted to stand. However, since she was standing beside me, I got the dirtiest looks from other passengers who think they have the right to judge everyone until she got off a few stops later. I even heard someone say to his wife, "it's the immigrants that don't know ettiquite" - I was fuken born in Toronto - diks!
half asleep / August 28, 2012 at 11:25 am
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On my bus/subway commute this morning I noticed the man in front of me give up his seat for an elderly woman and it immediately made me think of this thread.

I started to ponder why I hadn't noticed her as quickly as he did (other than the fact that he was sitting further towards the front of the bus).

I then concluded that I had only been awake for 20 some odd minutes, had not had a coffee, and was basically on auto-pilot until I got into my office. I have the same routine every day where I literally get up, shower, and run out of the house as quickly as possible.

Sometimes it's not that people don't care, are inconsiderate, or anything of that sort. Personally, I'm totally willing to give up my seat for somebody who needs it. That said, most mornings I'm simply in this half-asleep auto-pilot zombie routine and am really not paying attention to anything going on around me. I'm likely daydreaming about the coffee I am going to drink the moment I get to work.

So please, if you are in a position where you need my seat do say something to me. Many people have said in the above thread that we are not mind-readers. I'd like to add to that by saying it's especially true if we are half asleep on our morning commute.


Alex / August 28, 2012 at 11:38 am
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Just ask for a seat if you need one. I am not "faking" sleeping on the TTC, I am actually asleep, I can generally fall asleep and have dreams on buses and subways in a couple minutes. If you need my seat just tap me on the shoulder to wake me and ask for it. It's easy. I'm not sure why people are so afraid to talk to each other, but you really don't need to be. If you have an invisible disability or some other invisible reason to need a seat (even if it's just working a long shift) just ask someone for a seat. Even if that person has a reason for sitting chances are there is someone in earshot who will give up their seat instead. It isn't everyone else's job to constantly be on the lookout for people needing seats, it's your job to simply ask someone for a seat if you need it.

There is not a death of honour or anything in Toronto, you just need to remember that it isn't rude or anything to talk to someone. People give up their seats all the time, and help people with heavy things, etc. There have been a couple trolls on this section that seem to have everyone else convinced that they represent 90% of Torontonians, which I find very confusing. There will always be a few people that post stuff like that to get a rise out of people, or because they are just jerks. That doesn't mean everyone is like them.
TZ replying to a comment from victoria / August 28, 2012 at 05:29 pm
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Well said, Victoria! I never expected a seat when I was pregnant, but it was sure nice to get one every once in a while. I would have never asked for one or given the hairy eyeball to anyone to get one (didn't want to be rude), but it was lovely to be offered one. I never felt entitled even through there were days I was pretty uncomfortable.

I often found the people that were fastest to move for me were teenage boys - the rougher looking, the more likely to move. :) But, I think I may have run into Miranda at some point (LOL). A woman took the last seat on the subway one day towards the very end of my first pregnancy. She cut me off and pushed me out of the way as I was clearly waddling towards it. As she claimed the spot, she looked at me, triumphant, and said, "What? I didn't get you that way." I also had a man push me very hard into a pole - stomach first - on the streetcar because I didn't move quickly enough for him. When I told him to get his hands off me and that he pushed a pregnant woman, I was told to 'eff off.' Classy.

The one experience that shocks me more than rarely being offered a seat while visibly pregnant; however was very early in my first pregnancy (I wasn't showing). I was so sick on the way to work one day that I could no longer stand. My knees buckled and I was kneeling on the floor of the train with my head between my knees willing myself not to throw up. I couldn't ask for help because I would have vomited if I'd opened my mouth. Yet, in the midst of a very crowded subway, with people standing all around me - people who had watched me sink to the floor, not a single person asked if I was okay, let alone offered me a seat or some help. To me, that moment right there defined what's wrong with this city. Since that day, I've made it a point to "do unto others" and treat everyone I meet with as much kindness as I can. I teach my children the same. If that makes me naive, so be it. But at least my conscience is clear.
Ferris / August 29, 2012 at 02:54 pm
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First of all let me say I love Toronto, I love downtown and this will always be my home. But I have sensed a pattern of rudeness that has only gotten worse over the last ten years. It's not just the pregnant women on the TTC bus - it's elbowing your way past senior citizens on Bay or Yonge Streets, it's pedestrians - who have the right of way on a walk signal - being nearly run over by people who can't be slowed down for three seconds, it's rude service provided by guests in our country who should be thanking their lucky stars they're not back in their home countries drinking the same water that pigs shit in - you name it. No eye contact, no smiling when passing by on the sidewalk...whether this is s a sign of increased social isolation thanks to online chat rooms or just a sense of anger among people who are slowly having to move out of a downtown they can no longer afford, I don't know. But we are great at making each other feel unwelcome, in the way, unappreciated, and restaurants and cafes that used to have an ambience and comfortable setting now have an 'eat it and get out' attitude. That's not the Canada I know. I don't care if Toronto is the largest city. I can say these things because this is my hometown and I know that not everyone is like this, but it's situations like these that people go back to their communities and talk about all the assholes that are here.
Patty / August 29, 2012 at 10:38 pm
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I have offered my seat many times to people who seemed in need, families with small children, even people just struggling to read while standing and every single time I am met with this look like I am a weirdo, they often accept but rarely thank me. I offered to help a woman struggling to carry a stroller down some stairs and she seemed almost offended by it. It's a shitty feeling when you try to be kind and get no gratitude in return. So I think a lot of us kind Torontonians are a little jaded too by the entitlement that some people seem to have. I also think its not that hard to ask if you really need it, if anyone ever asked for my seat I would practically jump out of it but most of the time I am just dazed and in my own world and probably don't notice your death stares, use your words.
Boring Bill / August 30, 2012 at 01:51 am
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There's no winning with this stuff most of the time because of the always overflowing transit. The other day, I get on a bus with a huge bag of equipment I was bringing home from work. If I stand, me and my bag take up the room of two people, or it knocks people in the head every time we hit a bump, and everyone hates me. If I sit, I'm getting judged for taking a seat while some pregnant/elderly person/kid stands around.

I try to stand most of the time just to avoid this crap. You know what would solve it? More buses, streetcars, and subways on routes.
Alex replying to a comment from Patty / August 30, 2012 at 09:56 am
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I've noticed the same thing with people with strollers. Whenever I've offered to help someone with a stroller get on a bus they always say no thanks and just struggle themselves. I understand being protective, but with that many people around I doubt anyone would be able to steal your baby and you are more likely to hurt them by accidentally dumping them out of the stroller. I don't even offer anymore because I know there's no point.
Za-Moon-Da replying to a comment from Alex / August 30, 2012 at 05:57 pm
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Parents who turn down help when they have grocery bags, a small toddler AND a newborn in tow is just so crazy to me. When they say 'No' I just shrug and keep walking.

Once I was on my way home and got off the train at Warden. I make my way over to the bus dock and see this woman who appeared to be pregnant. I grab a seat in the front (one those "priority seats) and wait for her to come in. As the driver was raising the lowered floor, I got up and walked over and asked if she wanted the seat. "I'm not pregnant" she responds. The worst 15 minute TTC ride of my life.
J Bell replying to a comment from PDG / August 30, 2012 at 09:00 pm
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Careful - some people don't have cars and babies have to be with someone 100% of the time. When you do shopping or anything you have to take the baby along and that means taking a stroller. It's not nice to assume everyone who uses a stroller is 'entitled'. Many people have no choice.
J Bell replying to a comment from PDG / August 30, 2012 at 09:02 pm
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Also, I am pregnant and people offer me a seat about 80% of the time. I always say thank you to them for offering, even if I don't take it. Some days I really need a seat, and other days I don't. It is much harder to stay upright and balanced on a moving train when you're pregnant as your centre of gravity changes constantly. Thank you to everyone who has offered me a seat.
Same Here replying to a comment from Nope / September 1, 2012 at 08:18 pm
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Same here. I suffer from widespread chronic pain due to repeated injuries sustained at work and in accidents and most days, I can barely stand for five minutes to brush my teeth. But because I look 25, no one ever gives a crap. Worse, I get people like the OP glaring at me like I'm the antichrist because she's pregnant and thinks I couldn't possibly need a seat more than her.

I give up my desperately needed seat for seniors all the time, by the way.

Instead of raging at riders and presuming they're all hating on your precious mommy self, why not blame the government for underfunding transit for decades, creating overcrowding? Why not blame the cost of living for creating a bunch of adults working 12-16 hr days on their feet who need a seat as much as you do? Why not ASK FOR A SEAT like a grown-up instead of demanding we all read pregnancy sign language between the butts and bags of a packed subway?

Because, you see, I have disabled person sign language of holding my hip, wincing in agony, fighting tears and constantly shifting my weight when standing on a subway and no one notices me, either. And don't even get me started on the times I've been left to stand while on crutches.

Pregnancy, in the vast majority of cases, is a choice. It's not a disability. I'm sorry, but I have a lot less sympathy. At least your misery stops in 9 months. Mine has been with me almost half my life and will continue to worsen until I die. Sue me for not rushing to your aid, especially when you don't ask for help.

And yes, on bad days, I ask for myself. People almost always offer a spot. Who offers first? Seniors - because they see my pain and know it on sight. I turn their offers down.
MMG replying to a comment from Diana / September 30, 2012 at 04:46 pm
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I'm currently pregnant and I'm aware that I do not have a disability - pregnant women fully know they are NOT disabled. Though being pregnant is a "natural state" for women, it is one that is not without substantial risks to both mother and child - most ancient civilizations and societies that value the role of women, and place value on basic respect and consideration for each other, can recognize this. I think giving your seat up for someone in need, including pregnant women, is not a matter of giving up your seat so someone can feel more COMFORTABLE than you and rest their aching feet, while yours may ache too, it's actually a matter of SAFETY. I think the problem lies in the fact that many people are just very ignorant when it comes to their bodies, let alone a pregnant women's body. The pregnant body has gone through huge physiological changes in a relatively short period of time - please remember, the creation of another life is not a small feat for any living thing.

I think fully understanding the physical changes a pregnant women's body goes through would create so much more empathy for her when she is teetering on TTC. This is not to say a pregnant woman is any more deserving of a seat than someone else....but since we're on the topic of pregnancy, this is what I have focused on.

A pregnant women is not just hoping to sit down because she's been up early, her feet hurt and she's had a long day, she's hoping to sit down, because she may have a completely altered sense of balance where even one fall can be detrimental to both her and her unborn child. If you've ever rode on the TTC, pregnant or not, you may also understand that even holding on to a pole for dear life, may not help to keep you on your feet as the train pulls into the next stations and comes to a stop, or if the train decides to unexpectedly jolt to a stop between stations - which happens more often than not!

If it was your mother, your sister, your daughter...would you want people completely disregard her and treat her in such a disgusting manner?

Please stop being so selfish. As a society, why do we harbour so much APATHY for each other? People who are sick, disabled (where the disability is seen or unseen), elderly, and expectant mothers should be shown more concern. Pregnant women may have chosen to be pregnant, but this is a fact of life and one the human race depends on- they did not choose to get drunk, roll down a flight of stairs, break their leg, and are now asking for your seat. They are only experiencing a condition that is responsible for bringing every single human being into this world!! Have some decency and get out of your selfish bubble. Most importantly, don't confuse the issue at hand - giving up your seat to someone in need including a pregnant women is a matter of SAFETY and not comfort.
dundasian / April 1, 2015 at 09:36 am
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I fully agree with this sentiment (give up your seat! Have some courtesy!) BUT as someone who has been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, undergone major life threatening surgery, and have been undergoing chemo for almost a year you need to understand that there's no way to know another persons situation. I'm in my 30s, look perfectly 'healthy' and 'normal' (I have a full head of hair, normal completion, normal weight, a smile on my face and wearing nice clothes etc). The number of judgemental stares I've got for grabbing the last seat or not moving for someone more 'worthy' is really upsetting. Do your feet hurt? Is it difficult to stand? Well I'm in severe pain if I'm on my feet more than 5-10 minutes and am trying to get out and enjoy the last bit of life I have. (Can't have kids now) So boohoo to you.
Filip / April 2, 2015 at 08:43 pm
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It's because we Canadians are so nice one of the nicest people in the world right, right?
Or maybe we are just as strange Sterrall and afraid of the other which is wrongly interpreted as tolerance
MJ / April 2, 2015 at 08:46 pm
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I always had people offer me their seats when I was pregnant. And now that I've got the little one strapped to me, they are just as kind as before to offer me a seat (although I prefer to stand while carrying him, so kindly decline). But reading the horridly rude and ignorant comments on here has been depressing.
S / April 2, 2015 at 08:47 pm
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I choose to be child-less and I get quite upset about maternity leaves and whatnot but it's transit. I can stand. If I see someone pregnant (or elderly, disabled, whatever), I'll stand and give them the opportunity to have a seat. I generally don't ask because I always get turned down. I have noticed that just standing up, then people look around for who should get the seat, it often goes to the person who needs it most. Unless there is that crazy person who just pushes and shoves their way in....
I do wish there was a better way to figure out who really needs a seat. People without obvious disabilities (etc.) ... I can't tell. But if you ask, I will most definitely give you my seat.
Alyssa replying to a comment from Miranda / April 2, 2015 at 08:47 pm
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Yea I know right? I completely agree! That whore that gave birth to you should have used protection! gosh
Filip / April 2, 2015 at 08:48 pm
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It is because people in Toronto are not "nice" - it is a wrong etiquette. They are rather isolated & afraid of each other. Pathetic and sad.
zara / April 2, 2015 at 08:50 pm
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I believe it's more about common decency in general. When I see an elderly, disabled or pregnant person on the TTC and I am within distance of them, I will always offer my seat. It is just how I was raised. I've offered my seat on occasion to a common, young, fully abled bodied person before too. They seemed to be having a panic attack and needed a place to calm down. They were very thankful. I've also had people give ME a seat when I was feeling ill from the crowds. I'm a 27 year old healthy female. I appreciated that. I think the crux of the issue is do onto others, irrespective of whether they look "old enough" or "disabled enough" or "pregnant enough". If you're feeling fine, be a courteous individual. Simple logic, and I find living my life this way, I've received the same courtesy tenfold.
Filip replying to a comment from Miranda / April 2, 2015 at 08:52 pm
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Miranda, you need to ask yourself why are you so angry. We are discussing a simple act of courtesy here.
Sp / April 2, 2015 at 08:56 pm
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With all three of my pregnancies, people always gave me a seat on the subway, streetcar and buses. And I was commuting daily.
LOSERS!!!! / April 2, 2015 at 09:01 pm
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Disgusting city filled with disgusting people!
No / April 2, 2015 at 09:02 pm
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No. Get over your entitled "I'm pregnant so everyone must adjust their lives to suit my pregnancy" mentality! So sick of pregnant women assuming that the world need to change for them because they are pregnant. Get over yourself.
Filip replying to a comment from S / April 2, 2015 at 09:08 pm
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And women who chose to be childless so they are upset with maternity leaves are really a special specimen...

this is a Society which means it needs People to operate, those who decide to make new people should have some assistance, if you are too stupid to understand that then shut up rather than translating your stupidity into a hate.
alansmithee replying to a comment from Miranda / April 2, 2015 at 09:19 pm
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asshole spotted
Alena replying to a comment from Miranda / April 2, 2015 at 09:24 pm
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Holy shit, are you serious? Yes, humans procreate... they're meant to. It's not the type of choice like whether to give up a seat or not. You're not just choosing to keep your seat, you're choosing to be a horrible person
AG / April 2, 2015 at 09:25 pm
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To Miranda who commented that women who CHOSE to get pregnant and then go on Mat Leave that YOU paid for? Actually no, THEY paid for it. Mat Leave is the same thing as Employment Insurance - one is only entitled to it if one paid into it. Nice try though.

I am pregnant and "not showing" and have almost fainted on the TTC because I had to stand as there were no empty seats. When I was pregnant with my last, people sitting down would see me and my giant belly waddle towards then and then quickly close their eyes and pretend they were sleeping so they wouldn't have to give up their seat.

It was mostly women that gave me their seat when I was visibly pregnant, maybe 60/40 women/men. Ethnicities were all over the place except during the entire pregnancy only TWO Asian people ever gave up their seat.

I am so grateful for the new BLUR SEATS. I will now make my way for them and ask for a seat if one isn't available.
fvd replying to a comment from Miranda / April 2, 2015 at 09:26 pm
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I simply can't even begin to describe the lack of class when it comes to the TTC. Perhaps raised by barnyard animals?
LA / April 2, 2015 at 09:54 pm
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I have been through 2 pregnancies now, and don't drive, so taken lots of TTC, and people were OVERLY nice to me. I suffer from pelvic issues when pregnant, and it hurts to sit down. I feel much better standing. I also am very active, so centre of gravity shifting isn't a big deal to me, so I can balance standing on a shaky subway or bus with a huge belly no problem. I always have thanked the people offering me their seats, and politely turned them down. A handful of times, people refused to take no for an answer and forced me to sit! :) So I sat to be polite, though it was very uncomfortable for me. Not complaining though...... The intentions were very very kind.

Funny how we all have such different experiences. Wondering if where we are in the city and what routes we frequent make any difference....
momto3 replying to a comment from Miranda / April 2, 2015 at 09:55 pm
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This is simple courtesy, kindness, respect...basic manners. Pregnant, elderly, disabled...whatever the situation...go back to kindergarten and learn basic manners people!

To those (non parents) who have made STUPID remarks about women choosing to get pregnant..blah blah blah...you guys, sorry, you are idiots and I guess you don't plan to have kids, and you shouldn't. Idiots.
ldl / April 2, 2015 at 10:17 pm
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You shoulda gotten pregnant with a guy who has a car.
Cina replying to a comment from AV / April 2, 2015 at 10:23 pm
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Pregnant women work too, 12 hour shifts too (that's why they are on the TTC during rush hour), only difference is they have also been growing a human in their bodies, and given you can see their protruding belly, they probably have been growing this human for at least 6 months. In case you have no clue what growing a human entails you can Google that. It requires a lot from the females' body to grow a human. And yes she did choose to be pregnant, so did your mother. That's how humanity continues to exist. #ignorance
Laura / April 2, 2015 at 10:26 pm
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Your pregnant and your healthy, you dont need a seat. end of story.
Justin replying to a comment from tdotlib / April 2, 2015 at 10:35 pm
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I agree, sometimes we get into our own worlds on the ttc and just don't notice the pregnant woman (or whoever needs it) get on. It really is as simple as "Excuse me, would you mind if I sat down?" I think this would get people a lot farther a lot faster than trying to stare into someones soul to get them to move. When has the silent treatment ever worked?
PhilG / April 2, 2015 at 10:38 pm
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It depends on the situation. If the seat is a disability seat, then you are required by law to give up your seat. I have no problem with that. That is fair.

But if it is not, then you have no right demanding a seat anywhere else. Your seats are clearly designated. If they are all occupied by disabled people then asking for a seat is the equivalent of a non-disability person demanding a seat from any non-disability person already sitting. You might get it if the person chooses, but they don't have to agree.

You have privileges but they end just like the rest of us.
mommywithstroller / April 2, 2015 at 10:39 pm
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Thank you for letting me sit when I was pregnant, now with a stroller I am thankful when someone helps me with the stroller or moves so I can sit with that stroller. I try to stay on the same side if there's another stroller because I know how hard it is to pass I will.move further into the bus if there's a spot but I can only go so far. I will still stand if there's someone that looks like they need it more it's common courtesy
Natalie replying to a comment from Miranda / April 2, 2015 at 10:51 pm
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I feel sad for you. You have a total lack of empathy for others. Some people do not "choose" to be pregnant, and abortion is not a birth control choice for many. Maybe when your luck is down, and you are tired, or weak, the universe will show you some kindness and it will soften your dark heart.
noehie replying to a comment from jen / April 2, 2015 at 11:16 pm
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i feel you have made an important point about the visibility of a person's need to sit. i am 5 months pregnant right now and my commute is just over an hour. if i dont get a seat for at least the subway portion of my trek, i easily feel very nauseated and dizzy. however, it is winter and my belly has not been big enough to show through my winter coat. sitting makes all the difference in the world. but it is hard to ask for a seat on those mornings where the train is absolutely packed. i am young and look fine enough to stand. i've waited until i'm swaying, panting, and blacking out to ask for a seat.
mrhaveaniceday / April 2, 2015 at 11:26 pm
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Give seats to pregnant women, the elderly, people with disability, people who have young children.

If you have worked a 12 hour shift I will give you my seat. If you just want to sit down and ask me, I will give you my seat.

NF / April 3, 2015 at 12:31 am
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If you chose to get pregnant, other people around you shouldn't have to be uncomfortable for your choice. There are aches and pains with being pregnant...deal with it! Now if someone with a walking stick or an elderly man needs a seat, I have no problem getting up because they didnt CHOOSE to get old or sick.
Filip replying to a comment from NF / April 3, 2015 at 01:37 am
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NF, I would definitely offer a seat to you as well because I firmly believe you did not CHOOSE to be rude and stupid. It must be a consequence of some sort of trauma - a sane person never feels uncomfortable when being courteous and helpful to others.
Nicole vand / April 3, 2015 at 03:36 am
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If a pregnant woman is forced to stand and happens to fall, because of a sudden stop, she risks harm to her unborn child. Some people's comments are appalling. Too bad some of your mother's weren't forced to stand on the subway and fall down. The word might be a better place.
rolde / April 3, 2015 at 07:36 am
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No, @miranda, you chose to be a b*tch. To everyone saying they worked 12 hour shifts, blah, blah, you should be ashamed. Being pregnant is 24 hours, and should be treated as a gift to our society.
Joe / April 3, 2015 at 08:31 am
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You shouldn't judge a book by it's cover. Someone may look healthy but they may actually be sick and unable to stand or extended periods of time.

In my early twenties though I looked normal I was suffering from a horrible autoimmune illness and would not have given up a seat for anyone.

3 mutilating surgeries later and $1500/month of medication anyone in need can have my seat, but before? No way.
annoyed / April 3, 2015 at 08:32 am
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What a bunch of ignorant idiots making comments here. It's common courtesy to give your seat to anyone in need. I guess you were raised without manners. The pregnant women, the elderly person they all are in need. If your a women making these insane comments on here well your just dumb and if your not well then your still dumb. Have some class people. No one cares if your not pregnant now or if you worked a 12 hour shift. These women are pregnant, perhaps not feeling great and need a seat, have some manners and a kind heart and do something good for someone else. Selfish group of low lives in here
Notsickbychoice / April 3, 2015 at 08:35 am
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As you get older you will find out how difficult it can be. Getting old, sick, injured, tired, disabled, or having mobility issues are not choices and are not always easily visible. Many of these people must work to survive, sometimes to support children and grandchildren who increasingly are staying at home. Young healthy women who are pregnant have made the choices to have unprotected sex and no termination. Maturity means accepting responsibility for your choices. Old age and illness are not lifestyle choices.
CrippleRage / April 3, 2015 at 08:40 am
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i use a leg brace and a cane to get around, and i take the subway twice a day. i would say that MAYBE once every 3 months I am offered a seat. Having a visible disability has made me lose faith in my city and make me consider using whetrans. I don't need wheeltrans, i just can't stand for 45 minutes on a moving train. Some days it is very disheartening, but i try to remember that 85% of the people may just not notice and are wrapped up in a book or a game. As for the people saying "ask for a seat", I can't speak in terms of pregnant riders but I can about riders with disabilities. At times having a disability can be a constant exercise in humiliation of having to say "i can't do that/go there/i need special accomdations. So to have to do that daily for a seat, is a very crappy and humiliating experience. Just my 2 cents
Justme / April 3, 2015 at 08:59 am
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Yes, it is common courtesy to offer a pregnant woman a seat. But, like Joe said, sometimes you can't see the disability. Two years ago, after surgery for thyroid cancer, I was put on too low of a dose of thyroid medication. At the end of the work day, I could barely keep my eyes open, never mind stand for the subway ride. I often sat down, and because I "looked healthy", I got glares as I couldn't get up to offer my seat. Trust me, if I could have, I would have. I had a pregnant rider tell me that my illness was not as bad as her pregnancy. That's hurtful.

Please understand that illnesses are not always visible.
MS replying to a comment from Miranda / April 3, 2015 at 10:37 am
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I see that Miranda chooses to be a bitch. I hope the day comes when you'll be begging for a seat and nobody gives it to you. It's called karma. And as for "No"'s comment, we aren't asking for you to change your LIFE idiot, we're just asking for a seat. Get over YOURSELF. As I read all the negative comments, it makes me wonder if it's a guy, a young girl who hasn't had kids yet or an older woman who can't have kids. Really people, I don't understand why we can't be kind to each other. Are you all that selfish and think the world revolves around you? There are other people with worse problems than you. Think about it. And hope that karma doesn't come & bite YOU in the ass.
meg / April 3, 2015 at 11:03 am
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During the first part of my pregnancy, i never asked or hoped for a seat, because I'm a yoga teacher and I felt great and spry through my whole pregnancy. I would even smile and say "no thank you" to the people polite enough to offer. I felt great, and I was proud of myself for being in such good shape during my pregnancy! But after a quick stop that almost caused me to fall over I was scared badly enough to start hoping for a seat, making eye contact with people and even asking if needed to, because it felt very scary and unsafe to be standing. It was scary asking for a seat (reasonably scary too, given the viewpoint of many of the commenters on this post), but it was scarier thinking that I could fall and hurt my baby. My center of balance was changing very rapidly, I got light headed easily (a common side effect of pregnancy), and when it was crowded it was really hard to stand in a stable way with my feet wide apart. Falling or bumping hard into a pole or another person - stuff that wouldn't have concerned me nearly as much before pregnancy when I could trust my core and my highly adaptable center of balance to deal with it - endangered my baby, and so I asked for a seat. I hope that those of you who know that a bump against a seat isn't going to endanger the life of you or someone you love would keep an eye out for people who might need a seat when the car gets crowded, as I used to do before pregnancy. It's a good feeling to know you're helping someone who might need it. Try to be aware of those around you, even if you're listening to music, reading a book, or engrossed on your phone - just look up once in awhile. And if you're not sure whether a person with a belly is pregnant, or an old person is feeble, or a person with a cane is rickety, just get up when they get close to you, no need to say anything (you can look at them and smile if you want) and they can decide whether they need the seat or not. Trust me, it is empowering to say to yourself "I feel good today - I can stand!" and then enjoy the extra calories burned on your commute home :)
Chris / April 3, 2015 at 11:44 am
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What about those people I've heard on my own transit who when faced with an overweight person with a cane have had the nerve to shout out diet advice and humiliate them? I don't care what is causing you to have a hard time standing...if I can help I WILL, and without all the rudeness and labeling of "this one is deserving, that one is not".
paul replying to a comment from Miranda / April 3, 2015 at 11:56 am
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you are an idiot.
paul replying to a comment from paul / April 3, 2015 at 11:58 am
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that comment was meant for miranda ..the very first comment
D / April 3, 2015 at 12:00 pm
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I live in Kitchener-Waterloo, which has no subway of course, but I take the bus regularly. People here religiously give up their seats to anyone who needs it, and I see this happen very regularly when women with strollers get on and a whole bench of people have to move. Most bus drivers won't continue unless people move to accommodate everyone, which is a nice perk of buses since the driver can see everything.

Nonetheless, you do still see plenty of annoying people. I don't know what it is, but people become so dumb and ignorant on public transit. The worst is when tons of people are trying to get on and all the seats are filled, and some morons are standing in the middle of the aisle not moving to the back to make space. Often a passenger or the bus driver has to tell people to move back 3 or 4 times before they actually do it, or they move a few feet but then stop when there is still tons of room at the back. There have been plenty of times where the mob just keeps pushing and the idiot who won't move is basically just shoved back.

Interestingly I have also had some old people force me out of my seat when I was not in one of the dedicated seats for them, AND those seats as well as seats closer to the front were wide open. I once had an old lady get on and pretty much mark right up to me past 8 empty seats and stand there staring, like I was sitting in her designated seat or something, and eventually I became uncomfortable and moved and she plunked right down. It was bizarre.

I also can't stand when people hog a bench knowing that the bus is full, and never slide over to open up a seat. Just insane. Or when there are open seats, but people aren't taking them because they are afraid to sit beside a stranger or something, and you want one of them, but those dumb people are standing in your way, blocking off the sweet seats from everyone. This happens most often with seats at the back, which just sit there open while people stand in the aisle.
Erin / April 3, 2015 at 01:19 pm
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Saying you CHOSE to be pregnant is the dumbest thing I've heard in this convo. It's the same to say you CHOSE to work at a job that requires you do work a 12 hour shift across town. You could work at the Macdonalds by your house? No, you chose a job that earns more or where you do something else because it makes you happy. Or maybe the money makes you happy, I don't know. But a child is going to make that woman happy. And her family. Women CHOOSE to be pregnant? Cool, how would you like them to stop being pregnant? Aaaand the human race dies. Probably better for it because at least we wouldn't have inconsiderate twats like you.
Kate / April 3, 2015 at 01:28 pm
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...is your opinion.
ryguy / April 3, 2015 at 01:31 pm
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@stander...I completely agree. I offered my seat last week to an older looking man asking, "sir would you like to sit down?" He replied, "would you like to stand up?" While looking super annoyed and kept staring at me like I have done something wrong. That was a terrible experience and made me feel like I did something wrong. I'm not going to bother anymore because there is just no winning. It just takes that one asshole to ruin it for everybody.
Donna / April 3, 2015 at 01:44 pm
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With overpopulation destroying our environment for generations to come, we could certainly cease all breeding for the next 5 or 6 decades and it would do all of us and the planet a LOT of good. From the air we breathe to the food we eat, to yes, even the public transportation we take, we are all treated like livestock and poisoned with chemicals, additives, GMOs, hormones, antibiotics you name it...all so we can support overpopulation gone beyond wild. Suffice to say I don't have any sympathy for the pregnant on public transportation. Move closer to where you work, car pool or don't have children if your life is so horrible that you must try to balance your pregnant belly on public transportation so that you don't fall make everyone late for work while costing they health system an extra bundle. I'll gladly give my seat to any woman who has chosen to NOT have any kids. In today's world they are the ones who truly deserve all the rewards we can give them!
John replying to a comment from Donna / April 3, 2015 at 01:53 pm
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Let me guess... mid 40's career woman unhappy at her job, dried up ovaries with no chance of a family. Never seen a pregnant woman not offered a seat. Unbelievable
Donna / April 3, 2015 at 02:10 pm
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No, you are wrong on every count there John. I'm 58, working raising funds for homeless women and children. Yes my ovaries must be 'dried up' by now (as your testicles will be sooner or later) but I did have one child back in 1977 who passed away in 2002. I had my tubes tied shortly after I had him as my contribution to counteract overpopulation the planet. I spent most of my years in Toronto and I rode my bike even in the winter and even while pregnant...and always made it a point to live close to where I went to school (U of T, Ryerson) or worked (always downtown). Yes I paid more and lived with less space but I polluted less and didn't have to live with the nightmare of sardine can transport. I did take public transportation now and then and even while pregnant but never felt I needed to sit rather than stand. We surely are destroying our planet and our cities have become unaffordable, overcrowded and polluted places. If we truly care about the future generations who will have to live with this greedy mess we have made, urging reductions in breeding is essential NOW.
moe / April 3, 2015 at 02:23 pm
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BS article I see people giving up their seats all the time. And secondly why should anyone spend their commute looking out to see who is pregnant, disabled or elderly. I have had some elderly women look offended giving me the " Iam not that old" look when I offered a seat.
moe replying to a comment from Cry me a river / April 3, 2015 at 02:30 pm
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How about someone who's really tired after standing for 12 hours at work? Don't they need a seat too?
moe replying to a comment from Cry me a river / April 3, 2015 at 02:33 pm
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I agree coz someone maybe pregnant or elderly and not need seat.
moe replying to a comment from Cina / April 3, 2015 at 02:40 pm
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If someone pregnant can work a 12 hour shift standing, standing on train is what? 40 mins max? They can handle it.
Carmen replying to a comment from KL / April 3, 2015 at 03:25 pm
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KL +1

All these comments against this post are ridiculous and entitled. The right thing to do is give up your seat if someone clearly needs it more than you.

I personally feel embarrassed when i see 30 year olds and 40 year olds rushing to grab a seat while there are clearly people needing them more than them. But that is another story.

I will gladly giv dup my seat. And it always embarrasses me when the person being offered the seat thanks me and thanks me and thanks me again; this is clearly a sign that they struggle to find people giving up their seats.

People from Toronto, stop being entitled jerks and start being citizens. Gee.
Laura replying to a comment from Miranda / April 3, 2015 at 03:38 pm
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I really hope that comment was sarcastic. Otherwise I hope someone prays for you, you sound angry and miserable.
Kat replying to a comment from Rob / April 3, 2015 at 03:58 pm
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How much work is it to ask, though? A simple "would you like this seat?" takes a few seconds of your time and minimal effort. Even if the person declines, I am sure it is much appreciated. I am legally blind and carry a white cane, and I am always grateful to people who offer up a seat. I have also politely declined on the occasions when I am only going a stop or two, but I still make sure I thank them for offering.

In my experience, people on streetcars are often quite aware and courteous, but people on the subway are less so, even when it is not rush hour. While I have no issue asking for a seat, a bit more awareness would be nice.
Connie / April 3, 2015 at 09:50 pm
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The same should apply to mothers/fathers with a baby or young child, trust me, it will make their life easier. So why not be kind?
Pregnant / April 3, 2015 at 10:21 pm
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To Miranda:
You are a really bad person . Where is your formal education ? Did not you go to school? Your comment is very disgusting !!!
Shammy replying to a comment from KL / April 3, 2015 at 11:58 pm
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Well said
TTCeveryday / April 4, 2015 at 07:58 am
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I too, frequently give up my seat at all hours of the day as I ride to and from school. It can be 5am or 5pm and I can be equally tired at both times but I know I look fit and I also feel it's my duty - I'm always on the lookout for who needs it more. There was this one time recently that I didn't get up fast enough (long day and I was staring out the window on the 191). A woman was quite rude to me that I did not inmediately let her friend (an older gentleman) sit next to her in the spot I was presently occupying. The 191 at this hour is full of students but I was definitely the one she chose to rage at. Of course I gave the man my seat. He was grateful and I would have done it anyways once I noticed (even though there was another seat available two seats down) but her attitude really wasn't necessary. I never feel good after I've been rude to someone (I try not to take out my bad days on strangers but every now and then I slip up). Do other people genuinely feel good about themselves after they've been rude to a stranger...
VomitComet / April 4, 2015 at 10:49 am
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You chose to get pregnant and you chose to be a one car household and take the TTC. So why do you expect to receive special treatment? You don't know what others are going through or the type of day they've had. Is it considerate if one does give up their seat for you? Of course! But to expect it like some entitled beeyatch? You deserve to stand on a crowded streetcar/bus/subway.
Mother / April 4, 2015 at 11:16 am
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"Donna" ...even if humans stop having children it will not stop us from destroying our environment therefore, your overpopulation argument is null. Besides the birth rate in the country has dramatically decreased.

Some of the comments on here are horrifying. Congratulations you choose not to have kids but remember your mother was once a pregnant woman. I choose to have a child but I am not entitled. Everyone struggles, children or not. Can we please have some common respect for one another and stop thsee inhumane like attitudes.
Suzanna replying to a comment from Miranda / April 4, 2015 at 02:43 pm
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Miranda,wow! Let's hope you don't "choose" to breed either!

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