City
Bubble Gum Thief Strikes Toronto
Good news and strange news when it comes to gum and Toronto.
The good news, as mentioned on blogTO, is that someone is trying to rid our sidewalks of gum nastiness.
Here's the strange news - a women has been driving around Toronto stealing thousands of dollars worth of chewing gum. She simply walks out of grocery stores loaded with stolen boxes of gum hidden under store flyers. She also may be linked with similar thefts in the Kitchener-Waterloo area (how scary would it be if that were a different gum thief).
Police have issued a description of the gum bandit and articles everywhere will try to use sentences with words like "pop", "chew", "bubble" and "juicy". Even the police couldn't resist - Durham police Sgt Paul McCurbin commented, "It's a sticky case but we've got a couple of gumshoes on it". If and when she gets caught, expect headlines like "Thief Gets Gummed Up", "Charges Stick to Gum Thief", and "Gum Thief Case Popped".
Photo of Gum Thief from Durham Regional Police Service.
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Gum is the same as baby formula: relatively small, considering its cost, and easy as hell to turn over. Like people who steal baby formula, people who steal gum (boxes of it), they're fairly likely to get violent if you approach them - they've put a lot of thought into it, they've done it before and likely have priors.
LOL LOL = genuine
Cracked me up good, Eugene.
Let me try one:
"Police burst bubble on sticky-finger gum smuggler". Errr... puns aren't my strong suit.