I can't say "you heard it here first," because, well, the Star did, but that's right - ad agency partner Michael Paul is staking his claim as loudly as an unnecessary portable diesel engine blasting your neighbour's lawn clean at 6 in the morning.

He has invented Leaf Blower Hockey (the site's under construction) and apparently thinks this is somehow a good idea.

The analysis of the downside of the game presented in the Star notes the combination of "high cardio activity and diesel fumes" and quotes Chef Alex Johnston as suggesting they could solve this problem by using biodiesel for fuel. Really, I'm not sure whether Chef Alex Johnston or Reporter Moira Welsh is the one confused on the matter, but biodiesel churns out horrid and unbreathable exhaust like any other combustible and would be no better going into players' lungs.

What biodiesel might do is negate the impact in terms of carbon emissions, which TreeHugger has jumped on as a reason to see the invention of this sport as being worthy of "The End of the World As We Know It Department." Or how about The Why Canada Hates Toronto Department?
(They also have a scanned shot of the game being played that the Star hasn't put up on their site.)

I already agree that leafblowers are illogical wastes of energy and producers of pollution in their conventional usage, but the idea of equipping two teams with them for recreational purposes is verging on insane, even with the notion thrown in that this could be used to benefit charitable organizations (just like, well, absolutely any crazy idea you think of that might get someone's attention).

The only explanation I could come up with for this whole thing coming to be was something akin to people cranking the AC to deal with global warming or Newmindspace's (failed) attempt to use a snow making machine to have a fun-in-the-snow day during a balmy Canadian February (although Newmindspace did go to the effort of purchasing carbon credits relative to their energy use).

But then I thought for a second, and remembered that - as demonstrated in the photo up top - we already have an above-zero version of hockey!

All that really leaves for leaf blower hockey is that, well, it blows.

Photo: Game by blogTO Flickr pool contributor alexindigo.