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Fight Like a Girl!


Tonight, there was some rough 'em up action and A LOT of hiked-up skirts.

The Pillow Fight League hosted its first live action event at the "Pillow Fight Arena" near Queen West and Dovercourt. In a packed room reminiscent of underground betting rings a la Lionheart, this completely legal wrasslin' match featured 14 female contenders of the PFL in do-or-die single or tag team matches.

The Official Rules of the PFL:
1. Women Fighters only. No Exceptions.
2. Fights are lost via pinfall, surrender, or referee stoppage.
3. Punching, leg-drops, clotheslines, submission holds, and other moves are allowed, as long as a pillow is used to execute the attack.
4. No eye gouging, biting, scratching, hair pulling, or low blows.
5. Loading a pillow with a foreign object such as a brick is strictly forbidden.

For the most part, fighters followed the rules. But nowhere on there was beer spitting at the ref, crotch grabbing taunting or pie-plate throwing, and there was plenty of that!

Occasionally, commissioner Stacey Case and announcer The Mouth would call upon the audience for an amateur match. My cousin Melanie and I declared ourselves Team Scurvy and battled it out with two other girls. After 30 seconds of a barrage of white feathers coming from all angles, and what seemed like a 250 lb. weight on my head, it was all over.

Most exciting part of the eve: the final scramble where all girls wrestled on the mat at once. Anyone caught by the ref with both feet off the mat was disqualified until one woman -- Ms. Betty Clocker -- showed everyone who couldn't stand the heat, to get out of the kitchen.

Next Pillowfight League match will be at the Phoenix in August. It was pretty nuts there tonight -- I imagine it'll get crazier and more heated at Carlton and Sherbourne in the summer. But thank Jebus. We need more sassy sister events like this in the city. Whew!


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