These are just some of the worst Toronto condo names in recent memory
Toronto condos are everywhere. Countless towers with similar marketing pitches, and often copy+paste designs make it hard for marketing teams to cut through the mix. And if you want your project to stand out among the condo onslaught, you'll need a memorable name.
Memorable doesn't always mean good, though, and in over a decade of booming condo sales and a never-ending procession of new towers and branding, there have been some real stinkers.
Here are just some of the worst condo marketing names in recent memory, though, in reality, there are far too many to list.
This pair of condo towers really stretch to associate the bleak Birchmount and Sheppard area with feelings of warmth and happiness. Its most recent phase, Joy Condos, features saccharine-sweet floorplan names like "Merry" and "Jolly," which must've had at least a few buyers cringing.
But these still fall short of the even more questionably-named plans offered at first phase Love Condos, which feature almost sickening suite layout names like "Bunny," "Cuddles," "Giggle," and "Rainbow."
Translated literally as "Water from the Sun," this two-tower complex in Etobicoke's Humber Bay Shores area is actually pretty nice on the eyes, but it seems the marketing team fell a bit short in branding, as this name makes no damn sense at all.
Maybe they thought it sounded classy. Perhaps they felt it gave off a resort-like waterfront vibe. But apparently, nobody in that boardroom asked if the branding sounded ridiculous, which it does even to a non-French speaker.
But if water starts pouring from the sun, I think we'll all have bigger problems than a goofy condo name.
In perhaps the most obnoxious condo marketing campaign in recent memory, the developers of this condo tower thought it would be fun to remind us how we should all strive to be youthful and wealthy, a supposedly playful nod to the nearby intersection of Yonge and Richmond.
But the now-complete condo tower is a block from said intersection, the marketing team ignoring the much closer Richmond and Victoria intersection for something that better suited the lifestyle they wanted to convey.
It's technically in Mississauga, but with a name like Hot Condos, this Hurontario and Eglinton complex is getting honourable mentions. The "Hot" in its name actually stands for Home Ownership Today, which itself is a strange one.
Luckily, central air conditioning comes standard in these condo units.
Toronto nightclub baron and hotelier Charles Khabouth named this 44-storey hotel and condo after himself in a bizarre display of megalomania, the Bisha brand a childhood nickname for the INK Entertainment CFO and Founder.
This condo tower's branding has changed meanings a few times over the years. Initially designed with a base that gave the building an L-shape, plans were scaled back and the L came to represent the involvement of legendary architect Daniel Libeskind. After construction woes, lawsuits, and other issues with the final product, the namesake L has come to represent, well, a big L for condo buyers.
There was a period in recent Toronto history where a sleazy-looking person in a suit could attempt to sell you "$500K worth of ICE" and somehow not be in violation of any drug offences.
The resulting twin-tower ICE Condos have become landmarks, not just for their Scandinavian-inspired design and lofty heights but for the way they lived up to their name as a hotspot for crime in the city.
New tenants might be inclined to bleach every surface with a name like that, though the developer was clearly trying to market the condo complex as part of a buyer's identity, like actual DNA. There are now three of these buildings at King and Shaw, so maybe watch your step when passing by, lest you get some deoxyribonucleic acid on your shoe.
This wouldn't be such a bad name if the building actually lived up to it, but this mid-2000s condo on Balmuto Street near Yonge and Bloor ended up being more of a muted blue and grey dog's breakfast than a crystal anything.
As with the lesson learned a few years later at L Tower, if you're going to go with an ambitious promise of a name, don't cheap out and build another bland condo.
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