Rental of the week: Somewhere in The Beaches
On paper, this place is the dream.
“One bedroom, hardwood floor, nine-foot ceilings and a backyard,” reads the listing (now deleted). And it’s all for $950 a month, plus utilities.
Now, if this were a movie, you’d be imagining a beautiful loft as you walked up to this apartment, with gorgeous hardwood floors, big windows and a lush backyard with fairy lights. You’d probably have a little skip in your step with how excited you were. But, kind of like that scene in 500 Days of Summer, the fantasy never lives up to our reality.
And honestly, this is Toronto, so we should all know better by now. This place is definitely not a dream, but rather the sad, sad reality of what you have to deal with when it comes to the rental market in this city.
Let me break down the bleak truth of this apartment. We'll start with the kitchen:
The stove doesn’t have any burners. In fact, the back of it looks ripped off. So even though there is a stove, whether it works or not is a mystery.
The kitchen cabinets look very insecure — like if you put a stack of plates on them they would come crashing down.
Moving on to the bathroom, there are even more worrying problems:
Sure there’s a cool clawfoot tub, but where’s the shower curtain. Can you even take a shower? Also, what’s with all the exposed pipes and wire? Definite safety hazard.
There’s also what seems to be a plunger in the bathtub, which leads me to believe that the bathtub frequently clogs. So, enjoy that.
Exposed brick in the bathroom is a recipe for black mould and just general grossness. Fun fact, brick is really porous, so it being in a damp room is the worst idea ever.
The rooms are actually fine – ish. They’re dark with low ceilings and in one the wall doesn’t fully meet the floor, but I might be getting picky.
But, the biggest disappointment is the backyard. I was so hopeful the backyard would be awesome because I would live with almost anything if I had outdoor space. But no, this place is a dumping ground for garbage. There’s spare tires, an old weed whacker, and a falling-apart shelf.
Learning the harsh reality that something too good to be true probably is.
You already know the Toronto rental market is the worst and no one who lives here can have nice things unless they’re a multi-millionaire.
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