218 queen street east toronto

Rental of the week: 218 Queen Street East

This apartment is so bleak and overpriced, you'd almost consider moving back in with your parents.

218 queen street east torontoAbove a Freedom Mobile is this shoebox for $1,600 a month. It’s listed as a studio but that's pretty generous.

218 queen street east torontoThe listing says there’s lots of light and windows. I count exactly one window. Also the majority of the apartment is under a bed... At least you know there’s no monsters.

The entire place reminds me of those Ikea bunk beds I used to fantasize about as a kid. You know the ones where you had an entire play area under your bed? Except the reality of anyone over the age of 12 sleeping in one is tragic.

218 queen street east torontoSpeaking of this “loft bed”, it’s crooked, so you’ll probably have to army crawl up to your pillow every night as you slowly slide down toward the bottom of the bed. Second, getting up those rickety stairs looks like a drunk accident waiting to happen.

Lastly, does anyone like waking up with the ceiling inches from their face? You’re bound to get permanent brain damage with the number of times you smack your head on the ceiling when you sit up too quickly.

218 queen street east torontoThe kitchen is under the bed and it looks like a straight-up fire hazard. This place has zero storage as well. You might have to pull a Carrie Bradshaw, forgo cooking and use the oven to store your shoes.

218 queen street east torontoThe bathroom might be the least problematic part of the entire place and yet the shower has three different types of tile. WHY? Could they not settle on one? Was this a collage art project gone wrong? How many times have they had to fix the shower??!!

Specs
  • Address: 218 Queen Street East
  • Type: Apartment
  • Rent: $1,600/ month
  • Furnished? No
  • Utilities: Yes
  • Air conditioning? If you install it
  • Bedrooms: 0
  • Bathrooms: 1
  • Parking: None
  • Laundry? Onsite
  • Outdoor space? The sidewalk outside the building
  • Pet friendly? Yes (but honestly anything larger than a hamster would be animal cruelty)
Good For

Someone who really misses bunk beds or likes the feeling of sleeping in a coffin.  

Move On If

If you’d rather not die trying to climb into bed after a sloppy night out.

Lead photo by

The Central Realty via Padmapper


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