Radar: Insomniac Press Fall Launch, Bachelor Auction, Bargain Basement VHS Vault, Pumpkin Carving Party, Darkside's Halloween Night of Terror
BOOKS | Insomniac Press Fall Launch
It's October and strange things are in the air this time of year, so in acknowledgment of this spooky season a staff of clerical demon-spawn have whipped together a list of some of the most frightening events of this evening. First is something many people seem to be terrified of: literature! Oooh, that word sends chills. It's 2010 and it seems in these dark times that Joe Everyman and Sally Boringlife are so against reading anything but a Kindle that they fear it like cyclists fear cabs. You wanna prove to everybody in your carpool that you're not an afraidy-cat? Buy a book ya wus like Catherine Graham's fourth collection of poetry: Winterkill or I'm a Registered Nurse Not a Whore by Anne Perdue. This launch will also have readings by Roseanne Carrara and Angela Hibbs so come if you dare and delve into the dark recesses of a good book!
The Magpie Tavern (831 Dundas Street West) 7pm-10pm
FUND RAISER | CT Media Fundraising Party & Auction
Another two things people seem to be afraid of is dying alone in an empty bungalow filled with regrets and cats and donating money. Can't really blame anyone for those however you can start to conquer these fears at the College St Bar by attending Commerce Times' money grab and stud sale! It's far less frightening to give some coin to CT knowing they're a national, non-profit current events publication that provides thousands of young minds with important news, views and advice that will help prepare them for horrible, horrible real life. They need all the help they can get. And did I mention there's a man sale? Buy a man, be the man or both! It's all for a good cause so do it!
College Street Bar (574 College Street), $10 pre purchased tickets, $15 at the door. If you would like to nominate yourself or someone you know to be auctioned off at our event please e-mail Marwa at firstname.lastname@example.org. Halloween costumes are welcome!
FILM | Bargain Basement VHS Vault
Oh now this one is a biggie! This is the number one fear for pretty much everyone in the entire world, (some more than others) our parents! Bigger than snakes! Absolutely nobody wants to end up like their parents. I mean look at 'em! And what reminds you most about the 'rents? VHS cassette tapes. My worst childhood mental scarring was done while watching a VHS copy of the 1991 blockbuster, Kindergarden Cop. The bad man lit a fire in the school!* That being said I'm sure we could all find similar baggage at the BB VHS Vault where other lost souls come to share and compare the forgotten tapes of our forefathers. Pretty eerie, eh? But I freaking shotgun any and all copies of Turkish Star Wars!
Toronto Underground Cinema (186 Spadina Ave, at the enchanted back of the haunted mall) 7pm - 11pm
* Or how about that 'Miss Finch' from the Sesame Street movie, huh? She was awful! Like the mean Golden Girl.
PARTY | Pumpkin Carving Party!
Oh this is a party alright. A party for Satan! Go to this event if you want to actually be a monster this Hallowe'en. An innocent, plump vegetable warming it's robust belly in the sun is to be viciously ripped from it's home and all it holds dear and brought into the city where, in a horrible twist of fate it will end up at The White House. Poor baby would have been much better off if it just could have 'fallen' out of the truck and onto the 400. Instead this frightened wretch is the guest of honor at an annual "it" carving party. Excluding the horrific gore of the ritual for fear that minors might read this, when the torture is finally complete the gutted rags of what was once a mother's seed is put on display with a slow burning flame inside him. Only to be smashed by hooligans and then frostbitten. And then eaten by rats. If you so choose to go to this boozed up, (they will be selling beers and snacks) den of sin and horror movies remember to bring your own pumpkin and then kindly go to heck.
The White House (277.5 Augusta Ave) 8pm-midnight.
MUSIC | Darkside's Halloween Night of Terror
Please remember that every boring old post can be jazzed up if you simply read it with a 'Vincent Price' voice in your head. Like this: "Time for a Halloween show at the Bovine Intercourse Club! Free entry, ghoulish prizes and ghoulish live music from The Baretta's." Hey that was pretty fun! Now try it with a Peter Lorre, (slurps and all): "Hailing from the city that never sleeps, Hamilton, The Baretta's easy-going surf rock tunes are very energetic, way too catchy and act like a hula party for your brain." That last one was a little too scary but try the worst, horror movie legend Robin Williams: "Free live music and a frightening horror movie will be screening in the back room! Go there for tons-of-fun and don't forget to look for Patch Adams on HDDVD!" He was terrible in Mork and Mindy.
Bovine Sex Club (542 Queen St W), 19+, 9pm - 2am
For Toronto movie showtimes, view our Movie Listingssection.
Photo by Subjective Art in the blogTO Flickr pool.
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