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DUDEBOX IS FUCKING DEAD VII

Caaaaaackling. Creeeeeaking. Donald Trump speeeeaking. Maaagots. Miiinions. Kanye's opiiinions.

This Halloween, Toronto's most terrifying/semi-original/thrown-together party returns, and this time we're taking it to a MASSIVE warehouse at the Stockyards...or more like Graveyards you know!? Right? Nah? Ok true. But get your Uber account ready and stop complaining.

We give you: DUDEBOX IS FUCKING DEAD VII.

(VII means 8 by the way. Admit to yourself that you weren't entirely sure what VII meant. It's ok, we didn't either. Go ahead. Just admit it.)

Psych! It means 7 AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Now, every year some asshole shows up in a culturally offensive costume that requires us to throw many beers at him and send him on a free trip down the ol' stairs. So, to avoid this tradition, we've decided to assemble some helpful lists...

APPROVED COSTUMES:

- a tombstone that says " 'The 6ix' | Born 2014 | Died 2016."

- a really opinionated twitter account with 18 followers

- the privileged guy on your Facebook who's first to comment on everything you post and is all "wanna know why I disagree?" Like every fucking time, you know? And you're like "not really, this information is informed by my lived experiences and doesn't require your feedba-" and he cuts you off with "ya well you're wrong because I worked hard and earned everything alone and I have obstacles too, you just can't see them cause actually they don't exist but I tell myself and others they do because I'm insecure about systems I didn't create but consistently benefit from and low key enjoy. Also here's what I think women think which is more true than what you as a woman think".

- a zombie!

IT'S NOT OKAY TO:

- have high expectations

- show up late thinking the line will be short

- disparage anyone's ethnicity, gender, body type, religion etc unless you want a beer shower and a one way ticket to the bottom of Stairsville, Ontario

- count on toilet paper in the portopotties

- correct people when they pronounce gnocchi wrong (just in general)


DUDEBOX IS FUCKING DEAD VII

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