Film
Metro Theatre porn cinema to become indie film hub
It smells a bit like cheap soap and the floors have a sort of Willy Wonka warp, but the Metro Theatre at Bloor and Christie just might be the next art-cinema destination. After a makeover, and extensive daily cleanings, that is.
Yes, the last movie theatre in Toronto dedicated to the communal porn-watching experience will switch to a roster of independent films, foreign flicks, and documentaries come evening time. Jonathan Hlibka and Nadia Sandhu are the duo behind the initiative (why is it that every sentence sounds like it has a double entendre?), looking to transform the space for a three-month trial "pop-up" period.
"This is very much a labour of love," Jonathan says, before taking us inside Metro for a tour. "It's a passion project; we've taken a lot of what we're learned at Projection Booth East and applied it here."
Last summer, Jonathan and Nadia took the struggling Gerrard Cinema and transformed it into Projection Booth. Equipped with new technology, Grinder Coffee, and daily programming of independent flicks, Projection Booth (East) will now serve as guide for this new west venture. The difference, of course, is that Metro will still screen porn flicks during the day.
"In a funny way," Jonathan says, "I think it adds to its mystique. And it's in a great neighbourhood, so we thought, 'Why not go for it?'"
The new partnership may serve as a boon for Metro's current owner and now partner, who is reportedly swimming in debt, and also listed the cinema at $3.59 million last year. The Projection Booth partnership will give the space a much-needed facelift — an overhaul that will include new carpets, new projectors and sound, fresh coats of paint, and new seat covers. The concession stand will also be redone, ideally with a menu from local businesses offering "take-out to your seat."
There are two cinema rooms in Metro Theatre — one with 300 seats and a 35-foot screen, and another with 240 seats and a 20-foot screen. Jonathan says they're planning on four screenings per night (starting around 8:30 p.m.), with special weekend events that may include live music, comedy, and DJs paired with films. And of course, I have to ask about the cleaning regiment.
"Isopropyl alcohol," Jonathan replies without skipping a beat. "Everyday, probably an hour before the first [evening] screening," he says, "we'll get in there and make sure everything's clean."
For now, I spot a couple more napkins than I'd care to see on the ground, as well as an empty pack of cigarettes or two, but that should all change by August 24, when Projection Booth (West) is planning its soft launch. The list of films for the first week is still TBA, though prices are set at $8 per show or $14 for two (people or flicks).
Photos by Morris Lum
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LOL. I hope they put this description on the sign outside.
Fortunately for Jonathan, the hipster proponent of Toronto will eat this gimmick up. Overheard on Ossington: "Have you seen the new Wes Anderson yet? Oh you should totally check it out at this run down old porn theatre. I saw Emily Haines there once."
Just beware all you ladies in spiked denim cut offs - it might be wise to bring your own seat cover to avoid accidentally impregnating your butt.
1. Have these be-semen handed gentleman not heard of the internet?
2. It would be hard to enjoy the meticulous detail of a Wes Anderson film while sitting in a theatre haunted by tens of thousands of ghost loads replete with almondy ectoplasm.
It's a great neighbourhood in a great area and it's just what Christie Pits/Bloor Court and the Annex needs to take up the market of the recent flip of Bloor Cinema to solely Documentaries.
Now maybe it's this. I don't see the future of a porn theatre doing well in the age of the internet. Can smoeone tell me the thinking of why a Pornographic theatre needs to still exist when you can sit at home and not spend a cent?
They should just install blacklights in the theatre. That way you see as soon as someone launches, where it is and to avoid it or scrub it right away.
Maybe they could include mini blacklights with purchase of a night time movie ticket. That or head to toe haz-mat suits.
On second thought, it's way too much to go through to watch an independent flick. Nevermind.
They can't possibly be making enough money off the day-time porn showings that they need to keep the spirit alive, while still trying to transform the theatre into a respectable establishment in the evening. Ick.
Second, even of us hepcats who do have it (and who have been on it since before the WWW existed, and can remember what a dial-up modem sounds like) can understand the limitations of watching porn by yourself. As mentioned above, why does anyone go to any movie theater if one can watch at home, usually for (again, as most BlogTo readers do) for "free"?
Third, even if you have this new-fangled internet thingy and even a computer to access it, you might not have the time or place to fap. Not everyone lives alone in a basement apartment in the Annex, or has an understanding also-fapping roomie at the uni dorm.
In this case its because one can, for $8, get a blow job.
Try that with a porn at home even in 3D on yer 60" HD with 7.1 surround...
BTW, this "ick" factor in a world that has mainstreamed porn so much shows that, maybe, just maybe, the real world isn't made for posing hipsters.
Shocked to even have to argue this point but in absolutely all possible cases it is preferable to watch internet porn at home than in a be-jizzed dank theater with geriatric perverts.
There must be some sort of revenue stream (pardon the juvenile pun that I'm taking the time to point out) to make it worthwhile to keep it going during the day rather than taking away the 'ick' factor all together.
I guess we could poll Pee Wee Herman and Fred Willard for their take on it.
If the Metro is too scary for you, try the Loft (hey, it even has a hip name). You can lock yourself in a booth and wait for a hottie couple (on Craigslist they're all hotties) who are equally hip as you are. No need to screen for geriatric perverts, just hook up with non-geriatric non-pervets who get off on semi-public sex.
You know, I think someone put it best when he posited that the younger generations are, indeed, despite all the sex available, pretty prudish. Or perhaps it is "because of"...
You see, that's the thing with hipsters: they want the cachet of the grit and grime ("I'm so hard, I'm not down with that bourgeoisie shit, I keep it real"), but they don't actually want to come into contact with it ("a porn theatre? ew, yucky!"). That kind of ridiculous hypocrisy is only part of why people are so quick to hate hipsters.
Oh, no, this is not a good idea, man....
Shared a lovely mutual handjob with an older guy (hey, if your kink is MILFs and FILFs and you're 47, do the math) who had just heard about the Metro in something called a magazine, and was nicely orally serviced by a regular (who I wished would shave, but if I wanted smooth, I would have waited for a tranny).
As Joey says above, I'll leave the posing to the "50 Shades" reading masses who would get the vapours if they ran into such a relationship in real life.
If you want the real inside scoop, head over to squirt dot org, and punch in Toronto and theatres...
This is a generation that will get a flaming skull tattoo but ride its bike on the sidewalk...
I've walked by hundreds of times, but never actually been inside or have a clue about the culture.
Can anyone even confirm that people are actually going to these shows for a spank and a wank? I see a lot of generalization and blind assumptions happening here. Just saying...
Comments are for discussion, people! Not for repression!
Yes. And all out but-blasting as well if your erotic menu goes that far.
As for if all this is legal: while I am no lawyer, a court decision years ago (R. v. Labaye) said basically that what goes on in an establishment that is more or less wholly concerned with sex (hard to argue against a 40 foot screen showing 6 foot penises in full penetration not being concerned with sex) is not legally indecenct as only willing people would see the sexual conduct.
Which, if this does turn into a "not really porn theater" theater...not sure what that does to this ruling.
These theatre developers are showing a lot of spunk, hope they don't end up losing a wack of money or blowing their financial load on a project that comes up short by not putting enough bums in the seats... Too bad there's so many immature, juvenile smirkers out there, get your minds out of the gutter....
Well in that case, I really hope this works out for them and they don't lose too much money because in my opinion this concept is a definite hard sell.