COMPETITIVE ARTING | Art Battle 7
There aren't many events that force you to declare whether or not you're an artist as you enter the room. But that division is necessary at Art Battle, because anyone who thinks they've got some visual talent gets their name thrown into a hat, and those drawn get to battle for supremacy in a series of 15-minute, fight-to-the-artistic-death rounds. Two painters square off against each other, and the audience chooses the winner. The loser gets their work destroyed, and the winner has theirs auctioned off to the crowd. The seventh edition's main event pits Alex Christiani and Sylvia Chan against each other and the two first round winners in an unprecedented four-way royal rumble.
Great Hall, 1087 Queen Street West, $5 for painters, $10 for patrons, 7:30 pm

THEATRE | Oh, The Humanity
Massachusetts playwright Will Eno has been compared to everyone from Samuel Beckett to David Eggers. His humourous but intelligent plays delve into the metaphysical, asking big questions with a wit and sensibility relatable to cynical members of Generation Y. Starting tonight Outside the March mounts his 2007 work Oh, The Humanity, which consists of five short plays loosely bound by characters seeking for a cure to their existential crises. Directed by Simon Bloom and Mitchell Cushman, the Toronto production features sound design by ex-Islands member Patrick Gregoire. Runs til July 31.
Abrams Studio Theatre, 46 Gerrard Street, $10 - $15, 8 pm nightly

PANEL | Bent Music
Everyone knows that pop music is really about sexuality, and ever since Liberace donned his fabulous furs, it's been about homosexuality too. Tonight the Gladstone's monthly Bent Expressions panel convenes to discuss queer music, how sexuality is expressed through lyrics, and how to make it in the dog eat dog industry. Minus Smile of Kids on TV, Steve Diguer of Senor Kasio, The Torrent's Cameron Groves, and Maija Martin of Heavy Filth make up this month's expert panel, and as always the discussion will be moderated by Andrew Vail of Gay Guide Toronto.
Gladstone Hotel, 1214 Queen Street West, Free, 7 pm

THEATRE | Bad Dog Theatre's Short Play Festival
Danforth improv headquarters Bad Dog Theatre kicked off its short play festival yesterday, which is dedicated to showcasing new (and brief) comedic theatre. Over the course of six days, six works by local comics will be presented with four plays packed into every night. Tonight sees the debut of Sundae Shoes, a play by improv troupe SuperCult about a split 7th and 8th grade class that tries to stage a production of Romeo and Juliet. Also making its premiere is Is This Anything?, billed as a play "about relationships and useless knowledge."
Bad Dog Theatre, 138 Danforth Avenue, $12, 7 pm nightly

SPORT | Toronto Barista Champsionship
You may not know it from the surly guy with the missing finger nail behind the counter at your local coffee shop, but this city's got some very talented baristas. Today Toronto's best coffee slingers compete to be top of the cocoa bean heap at the Toronto Barista Champsionships. Competitors have just 15 minutes to prepare 12 drinks: 4 espressos, 4 cappuccinos and 4 "signuature drinks" of their own concoction, and will be rigorously judged in several categories including clealiness, presentation, and of course taste. Regional competitions are being held across the country, with the eventual winner going on to represent Canada at the world championships.
St. Lawrence Market North, 92 Front Street East, Free, 10 am - 7 pm

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Photo: "Chimera Sessions #3" by byronjyu, member of the blogTO Flickr Pool.