Christmas Cookies

Weekend Radar: Santarchy, Wrongbar 2 Year Anniversary, Constantines 10 Year Anniversary, Sodom Naughty or Nice Party, Mouthparts and Wings Christmas Show, One Perfect Day, Cavalcade of Lights

Photo: "First Round of Baking Done" by gardinergirl, member of the blogTO Flickr pool.

Events on Toronto's Radar for SATURDAY DECEMBER 19 and SUNDAY DECEMBER 20, 2009... lovingly handpicked from blogTO's events calendar.

Saturday, December 19

We're all familiar with the old holiday edict "You better not shout, you better not cry..." but the 'lil elves behind Santarchy would like to also keep in mind these pearls of wisdom: "Don't fuck with cops. Don't fuck with kids. Don't fuck with security. Don't fuck with Santa." Those are the rules to follow if you plan to participate in Toronto's most badass Santa convention, which will see hordes of Kris Kringles convene in Dundas Square and proceed to roam from bar to bar. Kids, don't bother Santa with your Christmas list this weekend; he will be drunk.
Dundas Square (and other locations), 5 pm

PARTY | Wrongbar 2 Year Anniversary with Clasixx
Like it or not, Wrongbar is here to stay in all its electro beat thumping, drunken hipsters spilled-over Queen St. at 2 am glory. After taking over from the Dragonfly and the short-lived B-Sweet club which occupied the location before it, Wrongbar has quickly become a Queen West institution and a favourite spot for Toronto party-goers to go wild in style. Saturday night they celebrate their staying power with a set by Classixx, two youngsters from LA who've already done remixes for the likes of Phoenix and the Ting Tings.
Wrongbar, 1279 Queen St. W., $10, 10 pm

MUSIC | The Nathaniel Dett Chorale presents An Indigo Christmas... In Silent Night
Made up of 21 singers from all backgrounds, the Nathaniel Dett chorale's mission is to dissolve barriers of stereotypes and build bridges of understanding between individuals, which is a particularly poignant message during the holiday season. Saturday night Canada's first professional choir group to dedicate itself to Afrocentric music brings you an intimate evening of traditional and contemporary holiday music. Moving effortlessly from old spirituals to 20th century jazz, the choir will be joined by renowned duo Joe Sealy and Paul Novotny.
Glenn Gould Studio, 250 Front St. W., $39.50, 8 pm

MUSIC | Constantines 10th Anniversary
One weekend simply couldn't contain the Cons 10th anniversary celebrations and the seminal Guelph rockers are back with a third show on Saturday. The two sets they played last week were some of the most memorable in Toronto in recent memory but no doubt they'll leave it all on the floor tonight to try to top them. Lee's should be shaking well into the next decade. Ladyhawk and Julie Doiron open.
Lee's Palace, 529 Bloor St. W., $20 advance, $25 door, 9: 30 pm

PARTY | Sodom: The Naughty or Nice Party
I think the "Nice" in this event's title is there only as a courtesy, because the Christmas balls will be out and they will be shaking all over the dance floor at Goodhandy's sinful holiday jam Saturday night. Dancing elves have never looked so sexy, nor has sitting on Santa's lap ever been this exciting. Djs Daniel Paquette and Simulation will get you in the holiday mood and host Matt Barker will show you why he's one of the most sought-after personalities in the queer scene just now (and it's not just because he got naked on MuchMusic). Come out and show some goodwill to your fellow man.
Goodhandy's, 120 Church Street, $7 before 11 pm, $5 students, 10 pm

MUSIC | Mouthparts and Wings Christmas Show
The Mouthparts and Wings project helps to foster indie music in Toronto by gathering like-minded musicians together. This Saturday the project stages the second night of its annual holiday concert with a bill topped by one of Canada's most gifted songwriters in Ron Sexsmith and rounded out by Wilderness of Manitoba, Lily Frost, Pavlov's Dogs, and Shoshana Sperling & Teresa Pavlinek. All proceeds go to benefit the Daily Bread Foodbank and the Stephen Lewis Foundation. Hosted by Mouthparts co-founder, talented singer and all around charming person Mia Sheard.
The Rivoli, 334 Queen St. W., $18, 8 pm

Sunday, December 20:

COMEDY | Suddenly Mommy!
Comedienne Anne Marie Scheffler somehow got the idea that being a mom would be glamorous. Maybe she thought she'd take a page from Katie Holmes's book and shack up with a movie star, dress her little girl in high heels and join a superstar cult. Things didn't work out that way and instead she's stuck at the Second City telling jokes about changing diapers. Her hilarious one-woman show Sunday night goes to benefit the Children's Storefront, a community centre that was irreparably damaged by a fire in October.
The Second City, 51 Mercer St., $20, 2 pm

PARTY | One Perfect Day at the Guvernment
The flyer for this massive party at the sprawling Guvernment complex has a lot of high-flying talk in it about how this event is about capturing the spirit of music and dance as never before and proving that art can triumph over fear. Who are they kidding? Like any event at the Guv, this jam is about capturing yourself a grappling partner for the night and proving alcohol and desperation can triumph over self-esteem and common sense. DJ SuperMario, Daniel Carelli, DJ Vibes, the Iceman and tons of others supply the soundtrack in each of the Guvernment's nine party rooms. All ages.
The Guvernment, 132 Queens Quay East, $25, 9 pm

COMEDY | Monkey Toast: Last Toast of the Year
Toronto's favourite improvised talk show rounds out the year with a visit from jazz/rockabilly musician Big Rude Jake, that Goldmind guy, and youth minister Jamie Holtom for some reason. Plenty of fodder in that diverse group for comedy, and as usual the Monkey Toast comedians will be doing improv skits inspired by the live interviews. Under Toast's Pay What You Think program, you wait til after the show and pay whatever you think it was worth. Be adult about it.
Gladstone Hotel Ballroom, 1214 Queen St. W., PWYT, 8 pm

Ongoing events:

FESTIVAL | Cavalcade of Lights
The Cavalcade of Light's family-friendly atmosphere of skating parties, fireworks and concerts have become an annual tradition for many Torontonians. The last Calvalcade of the 2009 holiday season drops tonight with a performance by Mission, BC's Juno-nominated Faber Drive followed by a skating party with DJ Misty Rock n' Roll. The Weather Network calls for a festive - 4ÌŠC.
Nathan Phillips Square, 100 Queen St. W., Free, Saturday 7 pm

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