The top 10 patios to pick up at in Toronto
The top patios in Toronto to pick up at are the ones packed with the people looking for love (or a one night stand, let's not get picky), Summer is prime season for patios, and it's also prime season for hooking up. From Sandy and Danny to those weird singing children (seriously, are they okay? Is someone making them do that?), everyone can agree that summer love is here to stay.
In Toronto, certain patios are more conducive to getting down without getting turned down. Please note that the data for this list was gathered anecdotally and may vary wildly as there is no data less rigorous than a dude bragging to his pals about how many numbers he got from chicks while their backs were turned: "Jeah brah, the bartender totally wants me. She gave me my polar bear shot without spilling it...so she was practically in my pants, man."
Here is our list for the top patios to pick up at in Toronto.
The Toronto Patio Guide web site, iPhone and Android app
The top 50 patios in Toronto for 2013
The best patios in Toronto
The best rooftop patios in Toronto
The best backyard patios in Toronto
The top 10 patios with the best views in Toronto
The top 10 patios for cheap drinks in Toronto
The Ballroom's two types of patios are ideal for the sporty type looking to capitalize on someone's vulnerable anguish upon losing a game of bowling. Patio Pick-up Line: "I like my men/women the way I like my bowling balls - being handled onscreen by John Goodman in front of Steve Buscemi for a Russian award."
Though The Maddy has a reputation for being a fratty, student bar, fratty, student bars are great for when you're looking to pick up. This patio is often packed, which is great for mingling with strangers. Patio Pick-up Line: "Are you a psych major? 'Cause I'd like to put my Piaget in your Vygotsky."
This hotel patio is well-decorated and packed with equally attractive patrons. The tapas-style menu (PDF) allows for sharing among friends and potential lovers. Patio Pick-up Line: (Just start softly singing Skyfall while maintaining eye contact with someone. Don't stop until they agree to talk to you.)
Boutique's Bar's patio faces Church Street, operating as the audience of the runway that is Attractive People of Church and Wellesley. Channel your inner Anna Wintour (if Anna Wintour had a good love life which she doesn't if Hollywood has anything to say about it) and keep an eye open for the right one for you. Patio Pick-up Line: "I saw you sashaying down Church Street. You have the good looks of Alyssa Edwards, the sassiness of Willam and the mystique of Mystique."
Cabana Pool Bar
At Cabana Pool Bar, people (and occasionally Canadian celebrities) sit around in their bathing suits, drinking seductive cocktails and eating phallic foods. It doesn't get much sexier than that. Patio Pick-up Line: "Hey, wasn't that guy on Degrassi? Let's make out."
Bier Mrkt (The Esplanade)
This downtown patio is popular with tourists, perfect if you're looking for something with no strings attached (or if you're afraid you'll run into her one day on the TTC and she'll point you out and mimic your crying face to all the other passengers). Patio Pick-up Line: "Want a bite of my smoked meat poutine?" (Wait for person to decline) "Well it's not the only meat that's smokin' in here."
EFS has a very ethereal, romantic vibe, reminiscent of picnics and twilight walks and all the other things people did for dates before there was Starbucks. Patio Pick-up Line: "This patio reminds me of NYC in autumn. How'd you like to go meatpacking district on my Anthony Weiner?"
This Financial District patio is perfect if you're looking to hook-up with Bay Street's best, brightest and horniest. Earl's Toronto has some of Canada's nicest washrooms in the event you find someone worth investing with. Patio Pick-up Line: "I hear the bathrooms here are nice. I bet you're way nicer looking than a toilet, shall we make our way into a private stall and confirm?"
Terroni Bar Centrale
Terroni Bar Centrale's multiple patios bring in the well-heeled Rosedale crowd for those looking for a sugar daddy. They have an elegant vibe that is only enhanced by the aphrodisiac-heavy menu and romantic decor. Patio Pick-up Line: "You ain't no spaniel, but I'd love to share some spaghetti with you. I'll let you choose if you want to be a lady or a tramp."
Muzik Beach is made up of a bunch of different patios and cabanas, like a sexy upscale shanty town. With MB's huge capacity, you have a ton of different options if the first one (or seven) don't work out. Patio Pick-up Line: "This patio is big. You know what else is big?" (Wink and pause for disgusted reaction) "My enlarged heart. I only have several days to live. Please take pity on me."
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