Grass

What I Did On My Summer Holidays

In July, while chatting in the yard with our new neighbour, comedian Brian Reynolds, my eye tried to make sense of some shapes in the grass across the street. I blurted, Is that a penis? Brian, who had already noticed the fresh neighbourhood art work (but didn't want to potentially weird out a complete stranger with the report), confirmed the sighting.

In August, the weeds on penis hill grew over the Humberside shlong. Toronto boasts some outstanding phallic symbols, but this was the first time I'd seen what appeared to be an adolescent boy's tribute burned larger than life into a lawn. It looked just like those doodles in the margins of high school text books, except it was ten feet long.

It made the neighbours giggle. And the little dribble at its tip was pointing at my porch.

It's now September and the hill is respectably clothed in closely clipped green again. Happy back-to-school, everyone!

Contributed by Sharon Harris


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