When I heard the Eaton Centre was turning 30 and there would be 'thousands' of cupcakes up for grabs, I knew it would be another chance for me to confirm how crazy some people are willing to go when free things are available. Arriving 10 minutes early, I observed an eager crowd of shoppers had already surrounded the cupcake distribution centre on all sides--straight out of a zombie flick.

It was clear to me by looking around that the organizers of this event hadn't thought about how to give out all these tiny cupcakes in an orderly fashion. At 1:00 PM sharp, and without any fanfare whatsoever, the crowd surged forward in a brouhaha of furious cupcake pinching and elbow jabs. All common courtesy was forgotten, and my friend even heard an old man smacking his lips as he attempted to shove his way forward (so gross). Within the first 10 seconds, cheapskates emerged quadruple-fisting like gluttons gone mad in the usually peaceful cupcake-land.

I know that deep down, somewhere, the Eaton Centre shed a tear today. Not because she turned 30, but because her party guests were too busy fighting over free cupcakes to celebate the milestone. So here's to you, Eaton Centre, Happy 30th Birthday!

Oh, and the cupcakes were ok.