I don't care if you have to beg, borrow, steal, finance, lean, or leverage...just do it, because The Seinfeld has arrived. Follow me as I prepare for this auspicious event by sacrificing my best goat in This Week In Comedy.

MON APR 30 / LAUGHABLE / UNLOVABLE / 1415-B DUNDAS W / 9PM / PWYC

Nick Flanagan and Steph Tolev are at it again, booking another killer line-up at Unlovable. This time, they're bringing you Kids in the Hall's Paul Bellini. It'll be interesting to see his stand-up act, considering that his writing has won him a Gemini and earned an Emmy nomination. Wait, Emmy nomination?! Wowzers. Dude, this guy had a fan club in 1992! Double Wowzers. Heavy hitters like Ted Morris and Mark Little (featured in the above clip) are also on the show. I caught Mark's new set at the Rivoli the other day and he KILLED. The writing was so good that, at one point, I stopped laughing and stared in amazement. That's when you know a guy is on fire.

TUES MAY 1 / REVEREND BOB LEVY / RIVOLI / 332 QUEEN W / 9PM & 11PM / $12

If you think that the white girl from Brampton who made a video calling Sikhs, 'Turbinators' was racist, please skip this review. The Reverend, a recurring guest on the Howard Stern Show, has arrived. If the Stern association isn't enough, let me make something perfectly clear: he's no reverend. In fact, he won Stern's World's Meanest Listener contest in 2002 by roasting co-host, Robin Quivers. The bit was so scathing that Howard's producers argued with him, on-air, for 10-15 minutes about whether they should even air Bob's rant. Why were they so afraid to play it on the radio? Skip to 2:10 of the above clip and you'll see what I mean.

WED MAY 2 - SUN MAY 6 / RYAN BELLEVILLE feat. BARRY TAYLOR / ABSOLUTE COMEDY / 2335 YONGE / 8PM / $6-15

Ryan's resume reads like a Toronto comedian's dream career roadmap. Step 1: Win the Phil Hartman Award when graduating from the Humber School of Comedy. Step 2: Be the youngest to play Just For Laugh's. Step 3 (optional): Act on a few shows for CBC. Step 4: Play a recurring character on a FOX TV show. Recently, The LA Complex has been picked up (by the WB, I believe) and he's now filming the rest of the shows to complete the season.

FRI MAY 4 - SAT MAY 5 / JERRY SEINFELD / SONY CENTRE FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS / 7PM & 930PM / $80-115

When I was in grade seven, I picked up a copy of Jerry Seinfeld's Sein Language and found it hilarious. He talked about driving (I couldn't drive), relationships (I'd never had a girlfriend), and planes (I'd never even been on a plane). That's the power of The Seinfeld: he brought me, a West Indian kid from Malvern, into his world. Top three greatest comedians ever? Yup.

About the Author: This is Michael Jagdeo, and I refuse to write about myself in the third-person. My blog, Diary of a Stand-up Comedian, documents the trials and tribulations I go through as I try to past the just noticeable difference threshold in Toronto's comedy scene.