Q&A with Toronto Sex Forum

I have to admit - I'm a sucker for the Rants and Raves section on Craigslist. Recently, I came across a post for the Toronto Sex Forum, a sort of free-for-all message board for horny Torontonians out there created by "Captain Big Willy" and his partner, Tiffany.

The site launched Mar. 15, but is still gaining momentum. The Webmasters have targeted a lot of topics - from sensual massages to sex and drugs to techniques to STIs. Now, the concept may not be groundbreaking, but it seems to be a great way to talk to people out there regarding any topic of sex while still maintaining your anonymity. And what's surprising is that it all stemmed from a case of a sore penis.

What made you start the Toronto Sex Forum in the first place?

CBW: The origins of TSF can be traced back to two bottles of wine and a tub of mango body butter. After said wine and body butter were consumed and distributed, respectively, between my lady and I, I awoke to find my penis gnarled as if it had been attacked by a rabid dog. Sharp pains in the penis are always alarming. The pains may get worse. Those pains may then baffle a series of recommended family physicians, recommended urologists and recommended surgeons. But the confusion of a series of medical professionals is much easier to deal with than the devastating aura of suspicion and lack of sex that surrounds you, once you try to gently hint to your lover that you have a sharp stinging pain in your penis.

As we do these days, I started Googling. We trolled the Web for answers and our memories for any recollection of the incidents leading up to this disaster but we just couldn't get the right answer. After some time my gf found an article on the calgarysexforum.com where someone else had received a similar sounding irritation from using body butter as lubricant. It clicked, suddenly I recalled the blasted mango butter we had been using. Then it struck me, there should be a site in Toronto that can diagnose unidentified sharp stinging pain in his penis. That is how TSF began.

Why is there a need for this kind of sounding board in Toronto with sex? Is it because Toronto is often stereotyped as a "frigid" kind of city when it comes to matters of the heart?

T: I hate to perpetuate stereotypes, but Torontonians' frigidity rivals that of my 90-year-old great grandma. In general, Torontonians are so reluctant to have open, non judgmental discussion about most "taboo" subjects. Especially women. I wasn't surprised that a forum like this didn't already exist in Toronto. TSF is important because it not only opens up the sexual discourse in Toronto, it creates one. It allows people to meet, chat, ask questions to other Torontonians. We are not there to judge.

What kinds of responses have you heard about the site?

CBW: So far so good. It's the first of its kind in Toronto and I think that some people are really excited about where this might go and what kinds of discussion TSF will foster.

How do you think this Web site will help Toronto's love and sex attitudes evolve?

T: Without conversation we have nothing. We would all be in our rooms touching ourselves in the closet, hiding away because for some reason, long long ago, sex was relegated to confines of ones own mind. TSF allows people to talk about sex openly and freely, and that is the most important thing. I think it has the potential to really change the way Torontonians think, talk, and act about sex.

How did you go about the selection process for each of the the forums topics (personals, sex clinics, seminars, sex & drugs, toys, stories, etc.)?

CBW: We didn't want to leave anybody out. So we just created every possible category we could think of.

The upcoming Sex and the City movie is coming up -- I've always found that women tend to love that show and relate and feel liberated when watching Samantha or Miranda or Carrie (and even Charlotte) - yet, there isn't a lot of that "frankness" when it comes to talking about sex in day-to-day life. What's up with that? Are we still ashamed of sexuality in 2008?

T: Sex and the City made talking about sex trendy, like talking about a pair of designer shoes. But it is all superficial, people are still ashamed to talk about their deepest sexual desires. We can 'fess up to the fact that we all have "goodie drawers" filled with vibrating cock rings and dildos but when asked the age old question of "which sex and the city character are you" most women would probably say Charlotte, the prude one.

What else is planned for this site in the future? (Guest columnists, webcams, etc.) or is it just going to be kept simple - the way messageboards usually are?

CBW: We want to keep it simple. It's a forum, we don't want it to become something that it is not. That being said, we are always open to suggestions from our members. Its a democracy really. When some members voiced that a live chat feature could be cool, we got that up and running for them. TSF is for the people, so we try to cater to them. I like the webcam idea though, good thinking.