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Bathhouse Vibe Doesn't Rub Off at Kids on TV Party

Posted by Japhet / June 18, 2007

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I'm sure I'm the only one who had high hopes for Kids on TV's bathhouse party.

What's not to like about the concept? Guys and girls thrashing out to some of the hardest local beats around and then exploring everything the establishment has to offer in a variety of combinations has a lot of potential for fun.

Too bad nothing came of it. We could talk about how progressive it is to throw a party at a bathhouse and while it is indeed that, it's success is predicated on active participation by all who are involved.

To their credit, Kids on TV tried their damnedest. They nearly always throw a good show, their songs are hot and they deservedly demand tribute from their crowd like a trio of pagan gods. John Caffery, lead singer of KOTV, used to cut loose at Vazaleen, Will Munro's monthly queer dance party and you can see how he and his bandmates have undoubtedly been trying to create a similar vibe with parties like this.

Too bad it's not the same crowd. They seemed to be up for it (kind of) but they were few and the regulars who bothered to hang around to check out the band were fewer.

In hindsight, I'm gonna have to blame the former and not the band. Concerts in the indie scene can be rather sexless at times, filled with people who don't know how to dance and are way too self-conscious to have a good time, and I'm afraid I'm going to have to file this show away in that particular category.

A source of mine, Forrest, was also in attendance and I found out from him that, in a revival of freshmen dorm mores, women were only allowed on the first floor and guys had the third for their exclusive use. The bar where the band played was the one area where everyone could get together and there was nothing really unique or special about that.

I understand that most of the people actually looking to get some were probably into action of the same-sex variety but if you don't build it, they won't come.

I can't believe that I'm the only one who gets off on the idea of both genders (and everything in between) playing together in a shared environment. It's time we started seeing more actual debauchery and a whole lot less worrying about whether it's appropriate or not!

I wanna be followed into the bathroom, I wanna get groped on the dance floor... hell, I just wanna see people trying new things.

This can all be very consensual and safe and, believe it or not, most people who are into this kind of thing are probably not going to cause any problems or exacerbate the balance of power at play in gender politics (they have to deal with that shit all the time).

After an hour of this, I'd had enough and headed back to my house for a party. I found music blaring from every corner and people dancing in various states of undress (wearing horse heads no less) which struck me as sticking a bit closer to the vibe KOTV were aiming for.

The first bathhouse party was apparently a good time but last year and last Thursday, they were a band without the right crowd. Here's hoping they get it next time and, seeing as how truly interested they are in shaking things up, I'm sure it'll happen.

Discussion

8 Comments

T / June 18, 2007 at 10:15 am
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I was at this show and I had a great time. I danced my ass off and saw a packed dance floor do the same. I was also glad to get a refreshing and relaxing shower after. I wasn't there to get laid, but I got the impression that those who were got along fine. KoTV played a great set and people had fun.

Also, it was really great to see Spa Excess open itself up to a gay/straight/male/female/trans crowd. This never happens and is part of what makes even a lightly attended night like this a success.

Also, what is "the right crowd?"
suckingalemon / June 18, 2007 at 11:43 am
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i have to agree with T -- not everyone there was there to get laid or touched and if the atmosphere was more like that, im sure alot of people would get scared off of coming and then whats the point of that. this show despite how large or little the crowd was, got people who might not normally go to a bathhouse, to check it out. before last years show id never been to a bathhouse and being at the show made me realize its a total positive and respectful thing. those who were there for other purposes im sure got what they were looking for. it was from my p.o.v a perfect mix.

cheers
Japhet / June 18, 2007 at 11:36 pm
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I'm glad you both had a good time. I didn't and some other people I talked to felt the same way so I thought I'd see if I could pick up some more reactions to the show.

Separating the genders felt really unnecessary to me. I understand that it's important to respect the space of the regulars but there could've been a floor for the KOTV crowd.

I realize my perspective, from having attended Vazaleen and other queer parties (along with the odd bathhouse) is a tad more informed but I can't help but be frustrated when I see how uptight a lot of Toronto's scenes can be.

Baby-steps right? I guess...
suckingalemon / June 19, 2007 at 10:09 am
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i think what you wanted from this, is not what this show was about. nothing to do with uptight. gay or staight some of us just wanted to be at the show and be left alone and if the show was not like that, then im sure a few of us would not have felt comfortable. maybe they could have had a floor where "kotv crowd" (though im not even sure how you define this) could be, where you could hang out before or after the show that was not the lounge and if you wanted to get busy you had the option. but i think there is safety issues in that, that people would come to this show and take advantage of that. so pretty much, yah, baby steps i guess.

cheers

Japhet / June 19, 2007 at 02:09 pm
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There were plenty of people who attended Vazaleen who just wanted to be left alone and they were. You might get the odd invitation but that's settled with a simple "no."

I'm not suggesting everyone should be forced into some bacchanalian orgy, I'm simply talking about having options and exploring new alternatives.

There are legal issues for the bathhouse as well as respecting the wishes of their regulars but anyone who would come to mingle in a coed environment like that is not going to start any shit.

Guaranteed.

People who cause shit are scared of bathhouses.
Aaron / June 19, 2007 at 11:34 pm
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You go Japhet! Fight the Power! We're here, we're post-queer, we're not going away!

Uh, speaking of 'freshmen'...
Not to burst your bubble but a bathhouse is ultimately a business model - it's got a political bent to it of course - but it exists to MAKE MONEY. Sorry, shocking, I know but this is what adults realize and I wait for you to make your own baby steps and grow up.

Japhet / June 20, 2007 at 02:30 am
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What are you talking about?

What did I say that would indicate that I was unaware of bathhouses being businesses?
Japhet / June 20, 2007 at 02:53 am
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Hell, what led you to believe that anything I was proposing wouldn't make money??

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