I think my years of masturbation has made me go limp.

My first experience with getting off came in the form of my dad's back massager - an equivalent to the Black and Decker of vibrators, the Hitachi Magic Wand - when I was eight. It was when it was OK to leave kids home alone and so, during the afternoons when I turned Today's Special on or Zoobilee Zoo, I'd also switch on this new toy. And if you're wondering -- yes, Jeff the mannequin did it for me, but only when he was in stillform.

The idea of masturbation never really seemed sexual to me, it always seemed like more of a game or something to do out of boredom. I used to come so easily, and to date, my record of consecutive orgasms using a vibrator remains 12 in under a half-hour. It's like I would attempt to cram in as many of them as possible, and I think this may have contributed to the death of the first machine.

And since the idea that jilling off wasn't really naughty or sexual, I used to do it using my fingers under the blankets while my brother and mom were beside me watching TV, but orgasms were always quiet.

It got to the point where I could see my parents coming up the driveway and I'd flip on the Wand to high and I could get off before they unlocked the front door.

Yeah, I can't do that anymore.

These days, I feel that if it's not the power of a Magic Wand on my clit, it's just not enough. It takes maybe 40 mins. at times. My record is suffering. I feel like this is the Geriatric Masturbation Marathon or something. This is going to sound weird, but I've always needed to not think about sex in order to finish. I usually have to close my eyes, hold my breath and think about a brick wall or an ocean - anything except what's going on between my legs.

So what's going on? Have my nerve endings been killed off over the years from being worn out so much? Is it a mental block? Have I killed kittens in the process of masturbating?

I've bought other toys in the past that have done nothing - the ones that run on the watch batteries or AAs are useless. Occasionally, I find myself envious of the girls who can squirt if the subway quakes by.

Good news is that there's no permanent physical damage, says Good For Her sex educator Tara McKee.

"It could be a lot of different factors, but it's more of a desensitization," she explains. "I think our bodies get used to a certain level of pleasure, but it's not a biological effect - you can go back down to zero. If you're using it frequently, your body wants more."

McKee suggests using a different toy and "if you're keeping your brain guessing how it's going to get its next orgasm, your brain is more open in receiving different type of stimulation."

So, I've been trying some new techniques, but keeping the Wand close at hand. Usually a trip to Pornotube will suffice, but perhaps abstinence might be something to look into as well. After a few days of not getting any attention down there, I'm sure I'll be aching for anything - battery powered or not.

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