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Cuddle Phishing

Posted by Jenny / October 28, 2006


Cuddle Parties are like sleepovers without rest, gossiping and putting bras in the freezer. (C'mon, you know that's what ALL sleepovers in grade school were like.)

I join the 10-odd boys and girls all ranging from their 20s to 60s at Wonderworks near Harbord and Spadina in my PJs and for the first hour, moderator/feng shui consultant Cecilia Moorcroft goes over the "rules" of Cuddle Party.

Cuddle Party is supposed to be platonic, non-sexual and all about intimacy and healing through touch. Fair enough. I was pretty interested in attending one of these many months ago when I first started going on this wild exploration of sexual espionage. I figured it would be a good starting point before getting into heavier things. Alas, no dice.

To sum up the rules: No means no for the most part. And you have to keep your clothes on. I found many people there seemed to have rejection problems - some couldn't say no, others dealt with feeling hurt when no was said to them. For the two hours after, we were all free to cuddle on the many blankets laid on the floor. But even though this wasn't supposed to be sexual, I found myself drawn to the food table and ended up mingling with a couple people for the next hour.

About five of us eventually ended up doing a soultrain-type spoon and flipped over to do 'The Wave' once in a while. We broke up and a couple of us ended up giving and receiving back massages. I saw others holding hands, getting their hair played with or just hanging out talking.

The part that kind of weirded me out was "the puppy pile," where all participants piled onto each other like a lazy cheerleader pyramid. It was kind of uncomfortable and I think someone squished my nads with their knees, so I sat out.

Cecilia suggested, as a closing ritual, for us to all huddle and stick our feet in as a cuddle pact of sorts. And with that, strangers had spent three hours being intimate together.

A bit too granola for me and I probably wouldn't go again, but I can see how it'd be useful for those wishing comfort and intimacy and as an opportunity to realize their own personal boundaries. Did I mention it cost $25?

But heading home on my bike, I was 100 per cent certain that spooning with a bunch of strangers was definitely not as intimate as spooning with my boyfriend. It's like a puzzle with crevices that only fit with certain people - and I don't know if you'd find that at a Cuddle Party.

photo: 2006 ©JamesBeeler/BlackStarImages

Discussion

7 Comments

anymynous / October 28, 2006 at 9:41 PM
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Are you a girl with nads or what?

Anon / October 29, 2006 at 11:38 AM
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What's with the gimmicky rip-off of the TTC logo? Lame.

brokenengine / October 30, 2006 at 10:34 AM
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Apparently cuddle partiers can't take a little bit of criticism.

Sounds like the lamest thing you could choose to spend your time on. But thats just me.

i are see / October 31, 2006 at 12:48 AM
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re: "anymynous"

gonads are not a male-exclusive anatomical feature.

anymynous / November 4, 2006 at 6:31 PM
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oops my bad....
but still, why is the writer refering to herself as a man when it was written by a woman?

mischief / November 9, 2006 at 5:36 PM
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I'm all for cuddle partys (no I don't work for them) - I went to the first one in London the other day and it was not bad - you gotta have an open mind. I mean hell cuddling complete strangers is a bit odd but it's quite a laugh.

Jenny / November 10, 2006 at 4:45 PM
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No, I'm not a guy acting as a girl or gender confused. This is just how I speak -- i.e. "Over the weekend, I was kicked in my almond joys" instead if "camel toe."

I assure you I have the body parts I've been assigned.

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