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Confessions of a Toronto dominatrix

Posted by Ab Velasco / February 14, 2013

toronto dominatrixA dominatrix could be in order for those in Toronto looking for a Valentine's experience that's 50 shades hotter than a candle-lit dinner. For Mistress Kayla, there's romance in submission. "Lots of couples do domination together. I've seen a few couples myself and it's always fun," says the 26-year-old femdomme (female dominatrix).

"So many women ask me, 'So I want to submit to my (partner) but I don't know how to bring it up without freaking him out. How do I make him feel comfortable with this?' They want to do it because they want to experience different feelings."

On a cold winter evening, Kayla lets us peek into her dungeon, located on the main floor of a home in quiet suburbia. Thick curtains are drawn shut. Wrapped around three walls is a line of text: "Moments of silence are part of the magic... Embrace the future. Imagine serenity. Dream. Dance with the stars. Fly with the angels." A mantle spreads across the fourth wall with whips, floggers, and paddles hanging from seven hooks. Light and heat emanate from the fireplace.

toronto dominatrixIn a tight black latex dress and patent leather boots, her blonde hair slicked back in a ponytail, she struts and explains her tools. There's the St. Andrew's Cross, an X-shaped bondage apparatus where the submissive one stands or sits spread-eagle. Then there's the CBT (cock ball torture) chair. The pink-coloured smother box is for the slave to lay down and put their head into face up. "So I can sit down on their face; always with panties on, of course."

As we take test shots - getting a rare opportunity to instruct a dom - Kayla tells us, "Don't make me look fat or I will kick your ass." It's apparent she loves being boss. "I used to beat up boys when I was young and now I beat up men." She makes her male subs wear anything from collars to dresses - and if she feels like it, demands that they clean tile grout with a toothbrush. When we ask if she could move the heavy St. Andrew's Cross, the petite mistress lifts and moves it. "I'm used to tying up large men and dragging them across the floor."

toronto dominatrixBefore Kayla got into domination three years ago, she worked at an adult novelty store and did gigs at stag shows where she was paid to humiliate bachelors. "I thought it'd be much more fun to do domination." Today, this is a full time job and she is quick to emphasize there are no escort services provided and that she offers strictly a BDSM (acronym based on bondage & discipline, domination & submission, and sadism & masochism) and fetish-related service. She charges $220 an hour.

The majority of her clients are men, ranging in age from their 20s to 80s. She says the appeal of being dominated really depends on the sub. "There are successful guys that want to give up control to someone who happens to be a beautiful strong woman. They find that they're way more productive at their work, because they've let it all out. I've also met a guy who said that he has to listen to all these bosses, so he wants to choose who gets to be his boss. Then there are people who want to try something different."

Before each session, there is a screening process that includes an interview. "When people call, I have a very good intuition about whether or not I want to deal with them. Then we meet and chat about what they're into. I always make sure we get along first. Basically, when they're down on their knees, that's when the session starts."

toronto dominatrixTrust is important in the dom and sub relationship and Kayla finds that her clients are trusting. "I'm constantly reading their body language. We communicate but always within the role play. If we break role play, I remind them how to speak to me," she says. "I never find that I'm in a crazy headspace where I can't control myself. There's a difference between pain that is uncomfortable and pain that is pleasurable. When someone is aroused to a certain level, they can take more stimulation."

With regular bouts of laughter and giggles, she clearly doesn't forget to have fun in all the seriousness. "I don't like anything contrived. I've met some dominant women who are strange and they talk in a deep monotone voice and they're so serious. I'm like, 'Wow, are you a real person?' I'm just myself."

A scan of online Toronto BDSM services ads shows that it's perhaps best not to be too serious about it all, as there's truly a range of interests and people looking to fulfill them: kidnapping, intense physical examination by a nurse that includes electroshock therapy, a Barbie dom with an evil pink playhouse, and a dom with dirty shoes looking for "lizard tongues" to lick them clean.

toronto dominatrixKayla has received her share of interesting requests. "There is a huge list of things that I wouldn't do. Someone recently called me and said, 'Now, don't get creeped out. I do not want to break your leg or anything, but I do want you to be in a cast. I want to put it on your leg and watch you walk around on crutches.' It's a very interesting fetish. He's probably a nurturer. But it's just not my thing. I like to be dominant and to wear high heels, not a cast!"

Despite their odd requests and kicking them around like worthless little shits, she has empathy for subs. "It's hard work," she says. "You have to open yourself up to someone, trust them and take it all in mentally and physically." Her advice for someone looking to be submissive? "Research. If you want to do it, make sure it's with someone that you really trust and who's professional."

Her work is displayed like an open book on her website, and it's how she says she lives her life. Her family and friends know about her work. "(They) aren't very surprised. I've always studied and been interested in sexuality. I want to be a sexologist one day. I don't have a PhD, but I'm definitely a sexpert."

toronto dominatrixFor now, the young sexpert sees herself continuing to make men feel like pussies. "It's a lot of fun. BDSM encompasses so many aspects of sexuality that's very mental, so it appeals to me a lot. I love it."

As we exit her lair, she gives us a hug and wishes us Happy Valentine's Day. With a smile, she tells us, "Careful walking down the steps. It's icy." That's right. Only she gets to bring on the hurt.

See also: confessions of a male stripper in Toronto

Photos by Jesse Milns

Discussion

39 Comments

r / February 14, 2013 at 05:20 pm
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toronto canada aint that high pressured, yo... not like say tokyo or new york...

the domanatrix scene must be fairly small here. kudos to blogto for nice valentines story though...
Greg / February 14, 2013 at 06:15 pm
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I've had the great pleasure of corresponding with Mistress Kayla for about 2 years. As an experienced submissive, I can say that Mistress Kayla is an incredible Domme both for her obvious beauty and for her extensive knowledge of BDSM. Mistress Kayla is very intuitive and seems to know what a submissive really wants maybe even more than he does. It will be one of the greatest thrills and honours of my life when I finally get to meet her in the near future!
jame / February 14, 2013 at 07:27 pm
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This humanoid is not worth the money she asks.

Save your money and then maybe she'll go get a real job.
burgs / February 14, 2013 at 08:17 pm
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keep deleting comments, keep losing readers admin
AV / February 14, 2013 at 09:01 pm
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"keep deleting comments, keep losing readers admin"

exactly. BlogTO shouldn't be so fuckin PC.
Michelle / February 14, 2013 at 09:39 pm
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Interesting story BlogTO. Thanks for deleting the comments that were here earlier. I find it really interesting that this woman was attacked with such venom here. Obviously some felt threatened and perhaps those people should pay her a visit to work on these issues.
greg / February 14, 2013 at 09:39 pm
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I say boycott this site. Many comments were deleted. I personally will no longer visit this site.
Mikey / February 14, 2013 at 09:45 pm
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YEAAHHH I hate getting deleted.

Like, sometimes, I just speak the truth and I think people should hear it even if it makes them uncomfortable.

The Truth SHOULD make you feel that way!
Meh / February 14, 2013 at 10:02 pm
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Hey, whatever floats someone's boat. A lot of men in positions of power get off on having a woman dominate them. She is obviously not fat, but I could see some guys telling her that so she kicks their asses all that much harder :)
funny replying to a comment from Michelle / February 14, 2013 at 10:08 pm
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oh yes a woman in leather with a whip will deal with mental issues. funniest post all day.
frustration replying to a comment from funny / February 14, 2013 at 11:31 pm
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These trolls clearly have some pent up frustration. I agree they probably should visit her to get their release. They're probably too scared because they're afraid they'll actually enjoy it.
gssg / February 15, 2013 at 12:05 am
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interesting, keep going~~
Blondee / February 15, 2013 at 12:36 am
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I think some of the guys posting here need a good ass kicking! You'll feel better after! Trust me! Mistress Kayla is a professional! Pleasure is pain!
jack / February 15, 2013 at 02:02 am
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I know Kayla..she likes to sing karaoke..very outgoing,terrific personality and of course easy on the eyes.The article is well done and begs you to wonder what BDSM is all about.Youv'e got to admire her ability to make a damn good living from a most unusual occupation
michael / February 15, 2013 at 04:56 am
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very interesting article and very sexxy gal.
you dont know until you try :)
Blondee / February 15, 2013 at 08:05 am
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Well said Jack! I too know Kayla from karaoke and call her a friend. She is a great girl, and lots of fun! The article is well written giving you a little peak into her world. Hey 50 shades was a best seller last year. She found this niche before it was popular! Smart girl! ;)
j-rock / February 15, 2013 at 08:26 am
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Moderating discussions is fine. But deleting comments is bush league. BlogTO is (or at least should be) better than that.
CaligulaJones / February 15, 2013 at 09:44 am
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Well, I had my comment deleted. All I asked was where the articles were about dominant men who used to beat up girls and now beat up women were. Or was that "icky"?
kc / February 15, 2013 at 09:50 am
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To the guy who'd rather be tortured by terrorists. What are you, 12? Why don't you go outside and play with your friends. The grown-ups wanna talk now.
Edward / February 15, 2013 at 10:37 am
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When I first looked at this article I didn't recognize the picture as my Mistress...even though I have photographed her 1000's of times. She is much more beautiful in person than the images here portray. I have done the promo work for many adult industry service providers but no other have this young woman's energy and vitality.
Finding men who want an expert kick to the nuts...or (insert unusual bdsm activity) from a beautiful woman, is my job. Mission impossible for most marketing professionals but I took the assignment happily when Mistress Kayla asked me, and I have never looked back... Now the search is on for ladies with similar qualities because Mistress Kayla has set the standard higher but demand has exceeded supply as popularity increases for this sophisticated form of adult entertainment. findmydominatrix.com launched a few days ago. After a few ehem...growing pains, prospective slaves will have a choice of looks, styles and locations to get some highly erotic femdom fun in a safe, clean, consensual way. Domination tailored to your fantasies. Bring your us your naughty deep desires and SHE will take over from there. ;-)
ian / February 15, 2013 at 11:58 am
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Mistress Kayla is wonderful person and an incredible Dominatrix. She was a natural right from the start and is really hitting her stride in her new facility. I encourage every submissive/slave to treat themselves to a session with this amazing Mistress. You won't regret it. Love the new look, by the way. Hope to serve You again real soon. Mistress.
Bobo replying to a comment from CaligulaJones / February 15, 2013 at 03:33 pm
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Hey Caligula, I'm not all that familiar with the BDSM scene, but I'm pretty sure that a little kink between consenting adults has absolutely nothing to do with someone physically assaulting another person. Your comparison is not relevant or warranted.
CaligulaJones replying to a comment from Bobo / February 15, 2013 at 04:48 pm
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Hey BoBo, didn't say it did. This dominatrix used to beat up boys, now she gets paid to beat up men. All things being equal, there must be men who used to beat up girls, who now get paid to beat up women.

I didn't infer, at all, that there was no consent.

I am somewhat familiar with the BDSM scene. Would you like a link to some sites where women are beaten up?
isaac / February 15, 2013 at 04:58 pm
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i'm excited to see this , i had the golden opportunity to serve Mistress Kayla for sometime not too long ago, i admire the way She runs the session, the way She controls the events, and mostly i admire that She has the ability to read other persons mind and predicting in advance what the other person would say or do.
i'm really grateful of knowing Her, She is a Goddess, She is the Goddess to worship and obey.
Lucky who is at Her beautiful feet
charlie / February 15, 2013 at 06:47 pm
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I had a problem for over 16 years, she corrected it in one session, I feel gifted with her companionship
skywalker / February 17, 2013 at 09:57 am
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I haven't seen Mistress Kayla for more than half year now, love her new look. She is very kind young lady and much better looking in person..
Will / February 19, 2013 at 11:45 am
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I have seen mistress Kayla a number of times and it is always a satisfying experience,...she has a great sense of what u need as a sub,...and a very good "bondage-bed side manner"..hehe. She is wonderful at setting an erotic ambience and would definitely recommend....esp worshipping those cute toes...
subbie / February 27, 2013 at 10:23 am
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Mistress Kayla is a Goddess, I'm soon to worship her again.
She's also a great shrink, and a healer.
Definitily can cure some of the posters psychological problems.
You just let Her work doing it's magic.
subbie / February 27, 2013 at 10:40 am
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Mistress Kayla is skilled in the Japanese style of Shibari rope bondage. In the next few month, I will ask Her to suspend me. Only very few Dominatrix's mistress this technique.
Also love Her beautiful 50's vintage outfits.
AJ from Markham / March 5, 2013 at 07:35 pm
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I had the opportunity to meet with her today...boy am I glad I did so. I requested my testimonial be posted on her site http://www.mistresskayla.com/Testamonials.html . When it is posted I suggest all readers and commenters check it out, including you self-righteous idiots with idiotic comments that know nothing about what pleasure truly means.
Tomas / March 5, 2013 at 09:17 pm
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I fucked her too! YAY! So proud of myself! Got the clap though.
Rosalyn / April 5, 2013 at 03:22 am
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It's going to be ending of mine day, except before ending I am reading this enormous paragraph to increase my experience.
abusedabuser / April 6, 2013 at 11:56 pm
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I had the pleasure of meeting her once. She's a spectacular mistress and i had a great experience being dominated by her. she knows how to get the best out of her slave.
subbie / April 18, 2013 at 11:54 am
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Imagine being dominated by Marilyn Monroe with Her famous white dress from the movie "The Seven Year Itch". Shibari tied rope bondage, teased and single tail whipped. Mistress Kayla had it all down, a more than fantastic impersonation. What more can a sub ask for. A Bettie Page impersonation will be next....
I felt so good, seeing Her again, after a long winter break.
I'm very addicted to Her, I believe I'm one of Her many regulars.
subbie / May 15, 2013 at 12:37 pm
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The Bettie Page impersination by Mistress Kayla, yesterday, even went beyond my wildest dreams. I was shibari rope tied by Mistress Kayla, partially suspended from the ceiling...
Wowww, I'm still speechless.
It was an actually much more hauntingly beautyful experience, than Betty Page could have given me, provided I had the use of a time machine. And please just watch Mistress Kayla on the NAKED NEWS, and perhaps You could see Her beeing a living legend unfolding. I have no doubt, She will leave Her mark for posterity.
subbie / May 15, 2013 at 12:46 pm
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I also want to add, that Mistress Kayla puts most professional Therapist's to shame, actually She corrects their mistakes. If you suffer from conflicting feelings about your sexuality, Mistress Kayla is more than capable to set You straight.
Edward / July 29, 2013 at 02:23 pm
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Mistress Kayla is back to her roots in Burlington! Call her sl*ave (Edward) to get your session ;-)
Edward / October 19, 2013 at 11:03 pm
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In a world full of amateurs looking to make a buck in the adult entertainment industry it is our mission to find ladies who take a pride in what they do. Kayla was the first such lady we found and as we find more and they approach expert standards, they are added one at a time to findmydominatrix.com ...maybe there will be a hot domme near you soon!
slave george / February 18, 2014 at 03:56 pm
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I have serve Goddess Kayla yesterday in London , and I would not call Her Mistress Kayla , because She is way way beyond that , She is unbelievable , I can not even describe Her and Her effect on a true slave . Goddess Kayla is so beautiful , 1000 time more beautiful than those photos and I would sue the photographer who took those photos , She has a blonde look now , She has the most beautiful eyes , naughty ones too which say a lot , She has sexy and attractive eye looks , She is so sexy , soft skin , hot body , great dominant attitude and She is very dominant and playful with a mix of being sensual , strict and dominant . I had a crazy , enjoyable and never forgettable experience but was so painful as it left me craving for more and dreaming about when I will be under those sexy feet and sucking on those little candy toes .
if you are a slave or a sub with huge experience and served both life style and pro Mistreses but did not serve Goddess Kayla yet , you must know that you are missing a lot and can tell you that ayou never served at all so far till you get under those sexy feet and cute toes , lucky me I ate a whole meal off them mmmmmmmmmmmm

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