Making New Year's resolutions is a time-honored tradition dating back to the Babylonians although our present-day resolutions tend to be more focused on things like being nice to your family than returning borrowed farm equipment.

While regular resolutions are more than fine, this is a sex column and I'm interested in commitments that could improve that area of our lives. With or without a partner, it's really easy to get stuck in a rut and a new year is perfect opportunity to try some new things or, at the very least, brush the dust off of your old habits.

So, without further ado, I present eight sexual New Year's resolutions. (Why eight? I didn't want to do ten and I couldn't think of twelve.)

For those who have been naughty and waited till the last minute to figure out what to get their loved one(s), we here at TnO have come up with a spicy meatball of a list that may get your, uh, stocking stuffed in the bedroom after your partner rips open the wrapping paper on these hush puppies.


Delight Rechargeable
Want to rock the clit and g-spot but sick of batteries dying and can't seem to locate an extension cord for your plug-in vibes? Well, Fun Factory brings vibe design to an ultimate new height with Delight. Made of non-porous and phthalate-free silicone and hard plastic, this rechargeable, simultaneous external/internal vibrator charges in its own sexy, discreet case. The convenient handle accommodates both solo and partner play, and also helps to make the g spot and clitoral zones accessible at once with different intensities and pulsations. The rechargeable battery lasts 90 mins. at high speed and takes three hours to charge fully. (4" x 1 3/4")
$172. Available at: Come As You Are, 701 Queen Street West, 416-504-7934.

Nexxtech Rechargeable Wand Massager
I haven't tried this vibe, but I passed by it at a Circuit City and it caught my eye. Its three massage surfaces help "work deep into muscle for total relaxation." And hey, it's on clearance and less than $10. Worth a shot!
$9.99. Available at: The Source: Circuit City, selected locations. Check Web site for details.

Taking a page right out of John Cameron-Mitchell's Shortbus, a perverted denizen of our fine city named Dave has been making very public confessions of peeping-tomfoolery through YouTube.

Normally, this would have everyone thinking "stalker" and issuing a volley of condemnations but it's difficult to feel threatened by a new-age twink who quotes Deepak Chopra and talks about negativity and finding one's self.

As part of a Pacific Mall excursion last weekend, I wanted to check out iMaid Cafe, Canada's first anime-themed restaurant in Scarborough.

Passing by the big red storefront at McNicoll and Kennedy, I got excited - there's something kind of creepy and cute about little Chinese waitresses dressed as maids - but before I could oust a high-pitched "Yatta!", it appeared the windows had been boarded up after only a year in business.

Does this mean T.O. isn't ready for cosplay - a Japanese subculture centered on dressing up as characters from manga, video games or pop bands - in all its kitschy and kinky forms over a bowl of noodle soup?

In Tokyo's Akihabara district, (otherwise known as the city's "nerd central," for gamers, comic buffs and Hentai), maid cafes are popping up every week. Asian girls dressed in revealing, frilly maid outfits, who will greet customers with a "Welcome home, master," bowing deeply, hands clasped. In one cafe, maids get down on their knees to stir the cream and sugar into the customer's coffee.

At Royal Milk Cafe and Aromacare in the area, diners can follow up a meal with a range of grooming services, including ear cleanings. Diners can also receive fully-clothes massages and for $75 US, customers can chat with a maid one-on-one in a private room. Maids at other attentive shops even offer to spoon-feed customers at their table.

I have a weird relationship with porn and it's not about guilt.

Theoretically, I appreciate the utilitarian nature of the genre. It's meant to get you off and whether you like watching fat chicks crush things or "some black dude" outrage imagined fathers across America (both links NSFW) the industry has you covered.

Unfortunately, as with most things in life, the goods are odd and the chances of finding porn worth watching are few and far between. I can't count the number of times I've clicked on some clip out of prurient curiousity only to be confronted with the polar opposite of what I consider to be hot.

Sculpted twenty-somethings pretending to be horny teens doesn't cut it for me. I'm not asking for a Baby Blue-style scripts but I don't think it's too much to want flicks featuring people who really wanna fuck each other. While Sasha over at Eye usually has some great suggestions when it comes to good porn, I'm not what you would label an avid consumer.

It was with all of this in mind that I attended a "red carpet event" featuring Maxine X (NSFW), a Canadian porn star, and friends at Vogue Room, one of those dime-a-dozen lounges dotting the College St. West landscape.

I didn't know what to expect. I didn't think I'd know anyone who would attend and the idea of porn stars meeting their fans brought to mind a more well-heeled version of a Girls Gone Wild shoot than an industry schmoozefest.

In the end, it ended up being a little bit of both. It was also Maxine's birthday.

(Warning: NSFW photos under the cut!)

Four years ago, I went to the Everything To Do With Sex Show and it was quite the informative experience. Even though I was twenty-one, I knew next to nothing about sex toys and going to an event full of 'em was an eye-opener for a guy who had recently left a religious college in the Midwest. I even got to take a picture with a porn star (see above).

Going back last week, I came in with half-remembered memories and not a whole lot of expectations but I knew one thing; I definitely needed a drink to help me process the ordeal. In the midst of a raucous environment that simultaneously recalls a Vegas-style event blended with scenes right out of a bazaar in Marrakech, a beer would be just the thing.

With a cold one grasped firmly in hand, all the scantily-clad girls hawking contraptions guaranteed to increase your sexual pleasure become mere background noise; a subtle cadence to a tumultuous cacophony of cheap debaucheries and bizarre commercial tangents.

If you're into this sort of thing, and I am, it's rather fun and you'll wander the various pathways, up for whatever the next booth will bring. If you're more of a cynic, you'd be inclined to think that all of this crass commercialism is obscuring any message that might be gleaned by couples who could possibly improve their relationships or their sexual worldview in general.