Saturday

PARTY | Chronologic Dance Party
Some of the best DJs in the city -- the Goin' Steady DJs -- are bringing their fantastic Chronologic Dance Party back to The Boat. These guys will be playing the best dance tracks from the 1890s to present day. Mind you I only have a vague idea of what dance music was like in 1890, and to be frank it doesn't sound great -- but it will be a learning experience! Don't wait too long to show up; these things have a pattern of filling up very quickly.
The Boat, 158 Augusta Ave, $5, 10pm

MUSIC | The Ruby Spirit CD Release
The Ruby Spirit have a way of doing things on their own terms. Formerly named Saidie May Crash, they started pushing the boundaries of "indie rock," mixing in anything from psychedelic influences to theatrical storytelling. Their debut record came out late last month and features many things that set them apart from your typical Canadian indie band such as using guitar amps as vocal amplifiers and a 50 person stomp and clap for their debut single "Ruby Dog." It will be interesting to see how they recreate all this live, but I don't think it will disappoint. They're taking over The Great Hall tonight to celebrate their album release, with friends Congadogg, Jumple and Jessie & The Rippers. For sure a night of live music unlike anything you've seen before.
The Great Hall, 1087 Queen St W, $6, 9pm

PARTY | Motown Party
When you think "raging dance party at 751," you don't normally imagine it to the likes of Diana Ross. That is unless you've been there the first on Saturday of the month when it's Motown night. Even though Motown fashion is not required, why not bust out your catsuits and evening trousers if you have them -- this is probably the only time you can wear it unless your SUPER ironic. DJs Fawn BC, Caff, and Brett Millius will be spinning all authentic vinyl from The Temptations, Smokey Robinson & The Miracles and Stevie Wonder. Guaranteed to be unlike any other dance party you'll find tonight.
751, 751 Queen St W, $5 before Midnight/$10 after, 10pm

READING | Josh Alan Friedman Reading/Concert
It was a sad day for independent book stores when This Ain't The Rosedale Library located in Kensington Market was forced to close its doors. Owner Charlie Huisken ran the store the old fashioned way (without computers) which (among other things) unfortunately lead to over $40,000 owed to the landlord. Before they closed, Charie and Jesse committed to having musician/writer Josh Alan Friedman in for a reading and concert. So now that their store is closed, neighbours Graffiti's Bar & Grill are hosting him in their place. Friedman is promoting his latest book "Black Cracker" which will won't be found at your nearest Indigo, so you'll have to make it down to Graffitis and get it straight from the man.
Graffitis, 170 Baldwin St, Free, 4pm

Sunday

DJ | Pick it Up
Usually when you think of a DJ battle you think of the mean streets of Detroit, an abandoned warehouse and high stakes. At least I do, and that's probably what makes me so white. There is such a thing as friendly DJ battles too. The Annex Wreckroom is doing an interesting DJ battle where each DJ will do a short 3-4 song set, then the next will be forced to pick up right where the previous guy left off and keep it going. 4 DJs will be battling in all, and what makes it friendly is there's no winner - so hopefully no shanking afterwards.
The Annex Wreckroom, 794 Bathurst St, $5, 10pm

PARTY | Metal Health
Don't be a fool and forget that Monday is a holiday, so you can party just as hard as you've been all weekend on Sunday. Try out Sneaky Dee's for Metal Health, brought to you by DJ HardWood featuring a night of every kind of metal -- from hair to death. Don't expect to have any deep heart-to-hearts or stimulating conversation though as I'm sure Metal will be blaring through the speakers all the way to last call.
Sneaky Dees, 431 College St, Free until 11, 10pm

COMEDY | Lets Get Hot with Chris & Aaron
Local comedians and buddies Chris Locke and Aaron Eves bring their traditional first Sunday of every month show back to the Rivoli. You don't need to be up at a cottage with all your friends to make memories, you can make them right here! They've got a stellar lineup of comedians who didn't head north for the long weekend either, including Nikki Payne, Jon McCurley & Michael Balzo. Plus a video all the way from Halifax by Picnicface's Mark Little.
Rivoli, 332 Queen St W, $5, 9pm

TRIVIA | Trivia at The Ossington
Do you find yourself at home watching Jeopardy, getting all the answers right, thinking you could do win the thing if only you got a chance? If you think that's you, quit lying! That show's tough! But if you want to try your hand at something a little easier, swing by The Ossington for Trivia Night. It's all for fun though, no prize of thousands of dollars -- just a roomful of know-it-alls trying to impress their first dates.
The Ossington, 61 Ossington, Free, 7pm

Ongoing

AIR SHOW | Canadian International Air Show
Do not be alarmed with all of the noise overhead this weekend. We're not being invaded -- although if we were going to be, this would be the perfect time for our enemies to do it. But regardless, Labour Day weekend always marks the return of the Snowbirds, the coolest air show put on by serving members of the Canadian Forces. It's not all about the tricks though, aviation enthusiasts (or just regular people) will get to see aircrafts like the CF-18 Hornet and the F-16 Viper East. Guaranteed these names mean nothing to you, but the pictures next to them on the website are crazy badass. Although this technically takes place at the CNE, if you're too cheap you'll definitely be able to see the show from all around the area.
CNE, 210 Princes' Boulevard

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Photo: "Castle Frank Station!" by simon.carr, member of the blogTO Flickr group.