The National Post has managed to track down "Slurpy," the Rob Ford lookalike whose bizarre nickname surfaced surfaced over a plot to film a fake crack video. Neil, to use his real name, lives north of Toronto and seems (naturally) keen to avoid being caught up in the Ford saga. The "Slurpy" moniker seems to stem from a speech impediment Neil has had since birth.

Naughty Ford staffer David Price has been suspended for a week for anonymously calling the Toronto Sun to complain about an article. Staying true to form, Price didn't properly identify himself while protesting a story about him not properly identifying himself on the Ford's weekly radio show. The mayor's office says Price won't be getting paid while he's at home.

Price - a 30-year friend of the Ford family - called the Newstalk 1010 show hosted by Rob and Doug 10 times before he was hired as the mayor's director of operations and logistics. He variously identified himself as "Dave from Etobicoke," "Dave from Scarborough," and "Dave from Georgetown."

Toronto and Mississauga are duking it out for the heavy drinking crown, according to Stats Canada. 19.3 per cent of people in the Toronto area and Mississauga-Halton said they have more than five drinks in one sitting at least once a month. Are you surprised by that figure?

Workers excavating the foundations for a condo complex on Harbour Street unearthed a buried wharf this week. The Harbour Square Wharf used to be on the waterfront beside the Harbour Commission Building but decades of infilling has pushed the shoreline south. The wooden foundation will be demolished in the coming weeks.

In other news: bed bugs are literally everywhere - there's no escape.

Could Lick's be licked? Eight GTA locations have been closed in recent weeks, including ones on Spadina Road and Queen East. In some cases franchise operators and building contractors say they haven't been paid. Would you miss the three-decades old burger biz?

Finally, a terrifying swarm of honey bees took up residence at a Union Station construction site yesterday. It's thought a queen strayed from one of the six hives on the roof of the Fairmont Royal York hotel, prompting a massive exodus. The TTC called in a "bee whisperer" to disperse the swarm off the arm of a backhoe.

IN BRIEF:

• TDSB's finances to be probed amid 'irregularities' [CBC]
• Teen YouTube singer Carley Allison set for cancer surgery [Toronto Star]
• Parents guilty of killing teen Tiffany Gayle [CBC]
• Bryan Colangelo steps down as Raptors president [CBC]
• R.A. Dickey shines as Blue Jays avoid sweep in Tampa [CBC]

Chris Bateman is a staff writer at blogTO. Follow him on Twitter at @chrisbateman.

Image: Mike Falkner/blogTO Flickr pool.