Well, guys, we're in the throes of festival season. Field Trip just wrapped up, NXNE is finally upon us, and TURF is on the horizon. So because most of us have identified our must-see-or-die shows and party treats of choice (ahem), the only question remaining for many of us is 'what to wear to this thing?' In case you're new to the festival game, or in case you're especially fanciful in the threads department, I've thrown together some tips from my many years of festival living. Enjoy, and feel free to totally disregard and just wear a white crochet bikini with heels and fairy wings. Because really, anything goes. The following are just tidbits in case you want to be comfortable and not look ridiculous in the bad way.

Don't try to dress like a '70s transplant if you normally work in finance.
It's obvious that your fringed kimono actually cost upwards of $300, and that you didn't dig it out of a sale trunk in Kensington, or from your grandmother's attic (these are clearly the only acceptable shopping locales, by the way. Ever). You are going to get so many plastic cups of over priced draught beer dumped all over that effing kimono, and no one cares that you're going to be a sourpuss about it. Mother Nature will smell that fake-ass shit, too, and slather mud all over you. Bottom line: You can buy all the fake-flower crowns in the world, but they will not make you a 'free spirit.' To do this, quit your job and move onto the festival grounds full-time. Be yourself, little grasshopper, and just wear a cardigan you don't care that much about. It'll be better for everyone.*

That said, be sure to wear something flowy on the bottom
The way to sneak booze into a festival is to purchase a quantity of Fireball (it's the only thing that still tastes good when it's boiling hot. Hot vodka? No.) and nestle it in the front of your pants, disguised as a front-bum. Voila!

Just DIY
There is absolutely no need to spend $100 on a pair of distressed high-waisted jean shorts. Go to a thrift store, purchase a pair of mum bum jeans, and make your own for a few dollars. Check out this tutorial, and add studs and splash dye/bleach as you see fit. Same goes for tie-dye, ombre dip dye, and fringed tops; there are tons of tutorials for these on Pinterest and other sites that will only cost a few dollars.

Get it in the bag
Festival days can require quite a bit of random stuff to make for optimal enjoyment, comfort levels and highness. You'll probably want to bring a giant bag with secret compartments, and fill said bag with snacks, sunscreen, maybe a small blanket, some of the aforementioned layers, and a water bottle. And, you know, whatever else.

Be suitably shod
Although those rubber shower flip flops seem like a good plan because you don't care if they get ruined, they're actually not the best bet. They tend to get stomped on and twisted around and snaggled around your toes, which can be painful, and at the very least, highly uncomfortable. Try to opt for something with a little more substance, like sandals with straps or moccasins. Or something like Converse, if you're the type who can pull that off.\

BONUS

Keep the unpredictability of the skies in mind
Don't just shrug off the chance of showers, hmm-kay? There's no need to catch pneumonia/hypothermia/the sniffles when you can just layer it up in advance. Bring a wool hat, a light jacket of some kind, and a scarf. This is Canada, people, and you never know what will happen.

*I'm kind of just kidding. Kind of. Or am I?

Photo from the Field Trip Festival's Facebook page