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Would Toronto rather just vote in a Squirrel for Mayor?

Posted by Aubrey Jax / July 24, 2014

Mayor Squirrel TorontoI would. Squirrels help put Toronto on the map - most of our Flickr pool is squirrel pics, and while we can't claim to be one of the five locales warring for albino squirrel capital (as Exeter, Ontario can), our black squirrels are famed, and many a fresh young face on Queen West would be happy show off their squirrel tote bags, clothing, accessories, and tattoos - well, maybe not all the tattoos. It's squirrel-mania out there.

So no one should be particularly surprised that a squirrel is now running for mayor of Toronto, ostensibly on the implied slogan "nuts not crack." Conveniently, the squirrel in the running has the surname of Squirrel, as I suppose most squirrels do. Does Mayor Squirrel have an official ring to it? Compared to Crack Mayor, yup.

Mayor Squirrel (if we can jump ahead and refer to Squirrel as such) is running on solid platform that includes such items as why are the garbage bins in the park so ugly? (plus a general city rebrand); an all-Toronto bike circuit; tolls on the Gardiner; and fiscal transparency.

Personally I'm sold, and am already voting Squirrel with my social media power. Mayor Squirrel might, in the name of fiscal transparency, end up confessing to have stashed Toronto's TTC budget "somewhere in the vicinity of the Dundas side of Trinity Bellwoods," but we deserve that kind of honesty, Toronto, we really do.

Squirrel photo (not pictured: actual Squirrel running for mayor. Probably) by Tony Wei-Han Chen in the blogto flickr pool.

Discussion

10 Comments

Chipmunk / July 24, 2014 at 10:48 am
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Alvin for mayor!
alex / July 24, 2014 at 10:56 am
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BlogTO has reached the nadir of their mediocrity.
Chip 'n Dale / July 24, 2014 at 12:23 pm
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We'd both run, but we have more than enough to eat at home, at the ole oak tree.
Mayor Squirrel / July 24, 2014 at 12:29 pm
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Thank you for the coverage BlogTO. While the local animal media has been kind to me, human media outlets have been slow to pick up on my momentum.

Please read my platform: IT'S NOT NUTS! In fact, I've been told it's better than Tory's or Chow's ideas.

Also, Squirrel Fest is starting on friday in all the parks across Toronto. Please approach the squirrels in your nearest park to ask for directions to the furry family fun. PS: we got a liquor license!
not daniel / July 24, 2014 at 03:10 pm
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When do we see a Best Mayoral Parody Accounts article?
mark / July 24, 2014 at 03:42 pm
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Squirrels are gross.
jon / July 24, 2014 at 03:53 pm
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I have a cat that is running for Mayor. Would easily beat a Squirrel, Olivia Chow, John Tory and Rob Ford. Does not smoke crack, drinks a little too much but will go to the pride parade.

Snuffy for Mayor! Our best option!!!
Ilovesquirrels replying to a comment from mark / July 24, 2014 at 06:27 pm
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So is Rob Ford. More gross than squirrels even.
W. K. Lis / July 24, 2014 at 08:41 pm
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In a ranked ballot, yes. In our current first-past-the-post ballot, no.
Joseph / July 25, 2014 at 12:40 am
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Yes I would vote for Squirrel

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