The 10 worst people on the TTC
With the all-too-common short turns, delays, and random outages, using the TTC on a regular basis is tough enough without seat hogs, backpack wearers, and other transit monsters screwing up your ride. A half-century ago, the TTC printed cartoon etiquette guides that taught riders to have change, hold on to handrails, and move back through the bus or streetcar. Maybe it's time to revisit that idea.
As something of a passive aggressive anthropological exploration, here's a list of the 10 worst people on the TTC.
Why can't we all just learn to get along?
Admittedly, some overheard conversations are pure gold, but 99% of the time it's enough to make those in earshot lose their minds. Despite being a common faux-pas, somehow the loud cellphone talkers find the guts to persist. The dedication would be admirable, if it wasn't so annoying. Kindly text so other people can read over your shoulder.
That chicken biryani probably tastes great--it's the smell that's not so hot once it mingles with odours of a hot streetcar or packed train. Surely that tasty morsel can wait for the sake of the harried people of the TTC.
I once had to catch a flight that required me to get to Pearson on the subway during rush hour. I spent most of the ride avoiding angry glances as I tried to find a place for my suitcase. Travel bags aside (until there's another way to get to the airport,) unwieldy objects like refrigerators and cathode tube TVs are best moved at a quiet time. Trust me.
Those with BO
Food smells are one thing, but a bad human smell is something altogether worse if you happen to be stuck right beside some with BO on a packed train. Yes, the daily grind is rough, but if you had to skip the shower, just make sure to load up on the deodorant.
The TTC is a busy place. Space is at a premium. So please wriggle out of that backpack and give yourself (and your fellow riders) a break.
A transit seat is the ideal place to put one thing: your butt. No feet, no bags, no slumped torsos. Oh, and if you would be so kind, please shove over that empty window seat. OK? Thanks.
Come inside. We won't bite. Or just get the f*ck out of the way so we can get off the train.
Driving a streetcar through a congested city is, no doubt, a patience-sapping task, but there's nothing worse than the furious driver who leans on the horn and is snappy with passengers. Customer service is part of the job, too. That means learning to use the loudspeaker as well (surely there's a volume dial somewhere.)
Tim Hortons cups and rolling half-full bottles of mystery liquid belong in the garbage, as does most of the stuff left behind on the TTC. Minor exception granted for newspapers that are still in readable condition and have a blank crossword section.
Bicycles do not fit through the subway's revolving door turnstiles, yet, roughly twice a week, a TTC technician has to extricate bike trapped in the maw of a station entrance. Go around to the main entrance and be spared the blushes.
Chris Bateman is a staff writer at blogTO. Follow him on Twitter at @chrisbateman.