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Where to find nearly naked people to clean your home

Posted by Alexandra Grigorescu / November 1, 2012

lingerie maids valets torontoWell, folks, it's happened. First, we reported on "sexy maids," which were on offer for parties, events and (ostensibly) household duties, but now a new company has come along that offers more of the same, as well as cooking (and men). Enter Maids and Valets.

There are four classes of outfits available: strictly professional (knee-length, "closed cleavage" French maid outfits for the gals, and black and white looks for the guys), flirty (mini-skirted French maid outfits with any variety of peekaboo body parts for the girls, topless for the guys), sexy (lingerie and underwear for both), and x-rated (topless and "possibly a mask" for girls, g-strings for guys). The pricing for cleaning and housekeeping runs between $30-$105 per hour (for 2+ hours) and $75-$145 for a 3-course meal served for more than 2 people (not including ingredients).

Their site looks like a cross between Model Mayhem's glamour shoots, and (frankly) an escort service, with the outfits representing a fair cross-section of the stock at recently-closed MissBehav'n. There are some shots (mostly of women) that do away entirely with the notion of cleaning, but my favourites are those of the men--a self-consciously-smiling, six-pack-sporting guy with a dishrag over one shoulder and a frying pan balanced on the other (psst, that's not where it goes), or a man holding a broom as his oversized shirt falls off, giving the camera a thumbs-up.

It's also odd that I couldn't actually locate any images of their staff. It's possible that the photos scattered across the homepage (including a comparatively out-of-place shot of a squeegee) represents what's on offer, but most looked like photos pilfered through a generic "lingerie maids" search through ye olde Google images.

Full disclosure: I get it. We all thought the young/old maid from American Horror Story's first season was titillating, and this sort of service can be somewhat fetishistic and/or plain eye candy, but it still seems rather silly to me. When you get down to the X-rated outfit options--basically, just nitty-gritties--there's bound to be hygiene issues, and if you're going to pay to bring someone that scantily-clad into your home, you're probably not going to be watching their handling of the Windex with a hawk's eye. Their staff will also gladly do your laundry, minor home improvements, change your lightbulbs, and even wash your car in the driveway (that'll aggravate the neighbourhood watch).

To your relief (or deep disappointment, depending), the maids and valets do not provide sexual favours, but (and this I balked at), the first two instances of verbal or physical harassment will incur a $500 fee, while only after the third will you be banned from their services. Seems a bit shady, no?

Discussion

12 Comments

Mabel Garcia / November 1, 2012 at 09:44 am
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I own a cleaning company and get calls for this type of service all the time. I'm always shocked when I'm asked that someone would be interested in something like that. I guess there really is a market for that sort of thing. WOW!!! Good Luck to them I guess. Us, on the other hand will stick to good old House Cleaning. Yikes!
Michelle / November 1, 2012 at 10:36 am
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This is disturbing. I feel guilty enough at paying some third world woman a fraction of what I make an hour because the life I have allowed myself to be pulled into exhausts me too much to be able to clean up my own damn house, let alone wanting someone who is additionally half-naked to do it...
MK / November 1, 2012 at 10:46 am
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This type of exploitation should be illegal. It makes me sick to think that this is a legal business. I would like to know what the employees make from the $100/hour fee. Probably minimum wage, if that. If this business stays in business for more than a couple of months then shame on the GTA.
Rich Pervert / November 1, 2012 at 11:31 am
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This is awesome! I'll take two topless maids for now and a gentleman for later.
Me / November 1, 2012 at 12:12 pm
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And for an extra $400.......
from experience / November 1, 2012 at 01:17 pm
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Never, ever cook topless. Ever. At least wear an apron or something.
John replying to a comment from from experience / November 1, 2012 at 03:15 pm
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Particularly not Bacon... Ouch.
Lol replying to a comment from John / November 1, 2012 at 04:16 pm
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hahahahah you took the words out of my mouth!
Alex replying to a comment from from experience / November 1, 2012 at 07:30 pm
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Dude, I have a huge scar between my boobs because of that. Bad bad idea to cook without clothes on. Sure learned my lesson.
Susan / November 2, 2012 at 01:58 pm
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Servers . Bartenders . Chefs . Drivers

100% professional and legal staffing. In business since 1994.

www.SafetenEvents.com

Cheers
Elle / February 15, 2013 at 10:01 am
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I actually work for this company and I'd first like to say that I'm 100% Canadian, perfectly (if not, overly) hygienic and safe in everything I do, got to negotiate my own wage (which is more than $10.50/hr), and actually enjoy working for them. I'm young and like to dress up anyway so it's fun for me. If I felt exploited, I wouldn't work there. I say don't knock it till you tired it or at least get more info. No need to be so close-minded about something different :)
mad man / May 15, 2013 at 04:03 am
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I finally get paid for looking good instead of rejected by jealous ie employer Canadian Haters. I am calling for a job TODAY!

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